Familiar and household OBJECTS clerihew GAME

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dowitcher
pseudonym
cobalt
internet

A dowitcher is a middle-sized wader,
Michael Howard's pseudonym is Darth Vader.
Cobalt is the blue of a sky that goes on and on and never ends.
On the Internet I encounter my best friends.

ballot
poster
vote
Royal Wedding

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ballot
poster
vote
Royal Wedding

They're holding a ballot on who runs tha nation.
They'll all have a poster and their own explanation.
They've got no idea which way the vote's heading.
They can't even decide when to have the Royal Wedding.

Labour
Conservative
Liberal
Plaid Cymru Embarrassed

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Labour
Conservative
Liberal
Plaid Cymru

It's a Labour of Love says Tony Blair
Conservatives are tough but like to seem fair.
The only sense is a Liberal dash of whisky or rum - be
Thankful we can't be ruled by Plaid Cymru.

dregs
valium
discography
point

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dregs
valium
discography
point

The dregs of society from Bray
Use valium to get through the day
They enjoy the discography of all things blue
But point out sadly," There's sod all else to do."

tripe
black pudding
treacle
pigs trotter

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It's a load of tripe, this game, it's awful;
Just like a greasy black pudding made of offal.
Into the treacle well jumped Elsie, Lacey and Tilly -
It's Lombard Street to a pig's trotter that Lewis Carroll wasn't silly.

keeshond
G-string
lady
mug

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keeshond
g-string
lady
mug

My keeshond dragged me into the sun
Which caused my G-string to stick up my bum
But being a lady I ignored the pain
Though I felt a mug when it started to rain.

eagle
Marrakech
train
Bob Dylan

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The symbol of dispassionate strength is an eagle,
But in Marrakech, I saw one lose to a Snoopy-like beagle.
Taking the train the next day,
I heard an itinerant busker with a mouth organ play Bob Dylan's 'Lay, Lady, Lay'

Hungary
baby son
jam
pickles

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Hungary
baby son
jam
pickles

I'm of on a trip to east Hungary.
To my baby son I said "It should be fun Gary"
We'll bring back some jam and slices of pork
And eat it with pickles and talk.

Phoenix
St Helens
painting
Paradise Lost

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Phoenix
St Helens
painting
Paradise Lost

Phoenix is one of the driest places
And St Helen's so wet it neither inspires nor braces.
So I will sit and do a painting of my own patch of ground
Where Paradise Lost is now found.

Geiger counter
kite
plaster
yew

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Geiger counter
kite
plaster
yew

The Geiger counter ticked away
As the radio active kite came into play.
The plaster cast of the tree was smash ed
Was it on oak or yew or ash Ed?

rum
laryngitis
bullock
video conference

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rum
laryngitis
bullock
video conference

I poured a tot of rum to assuage my sore throat
As laryngitis is something on which I do not in any way dote.
A bullock knocked it over
So there was I, sober, on my mobile, having a video conference in the middle of a field of bullocks and clover.

wisdom tooth
hairdo
pliers
gun

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wisdom tooth
hairdo
pliers
gun

A wisdom tooth ia funny name for something that's not wise.
Like a hairdo which isn't a do but a cut or wash and dry.
You can't ply your trade with pliers which is realy rather strange.
And a gun should not be a a weapon but used only on the range.

Rod3
ehBeth
Firefly
Clary

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Rod3
ehBeth
Firefly
Clary

Rod3 has leapfrogged Rods1 and 2, who may have succumbed to A2K death.
Some people have capitals in their names like SealPoet and ehBeth,
firefly prefers lower case letters
And Clary loves A2K where she can consort with her betters.

memory
security
pastry
university

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memory
security
pasty
university

My memory is awfully queer
My security passwords disappear
I'm sure one was a sort of sweet pastry
Another a university or something equally tasty.

Death Valley
Rubicon
fresco
Snark

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Death Valley
Rubicon
fresco
Snark
We rode into Death Valley bruised and covered with blood,
Having crossed the Rubicon in flood.
David Hockney painted a fresco of us in a church in Tennessee
For the Snark was a Boojum, you see.

baker
challenge
shorts
geography

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baker
challenge
shorts
geography

A baker was asked to bake a world tart
The filling for which was a challenge from the heart
Dessed in shorts because of the heat in the kitchen
His geography beat him so he filled it with chicken.

delightful
evidence
inflation
Europe

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delightful
evidence
inflation
Europe

A delightful young lawyer in court
Said the evidence was not what was originally thought.
The crime was caused simply by inflation,
And not by devious European bankers with a fraudulent valuation.

dandelion
underskirt
bus
weasel

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dandelion
underskirt
bus
weasel

The dandelion's a funny flower not often talked about
Like underskirts and navel fluff and old mens feet with gout
But if you're upstairs on a bus and going through the lanes
You may spot the wily weasel making dandelion chains.

plus fours
drum majorette
walker
grease

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plus fours
drum majorette
walker
grease

A golfer, wearing plus fours,
Encountered a saucy drum majorette, out of doors.
She said 'I'm not much of a walker but can I be your caddy?'
As he handed her the grease for his leather bad he murmured ' Let me be your sugar daddy!'

janitor
silk
cowpat
yogurt pot

0 Replies

plus fours
drum majorette
walker
grease

A portly aging golfer, wearing plus fours,
Encountered a saucy drum majorette, out of doors.
She said 'I'm not much of a walker but can I be your caddy?'
As he handed her the grease for his leather bag he murmured ' Let me be your sugar daddy!'

janitor
silk
cowpat
yogurt pot

0 Replies

Familiar and household OBJECTS clerihew GAME

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