Familiar and household OBJECTS clerihew GAME

Nice one, Rod - quite made up for the Egg Fiasco!

When Basil went dancing at the Palais
He took Olive along for a sashay
The oregano struck up, and the oboe played a trill
So they went to Ullswater for a thrill.

paprika
sweetcorn
kiosk
underwear

0 Replies

Paprika swims around in my veins;
I'll give you sweetcorn for my pains,
If only you'd stop at a kiosk and buy me a drink
I would throw underwear out of a window, and see it fly: how far d'you think?

Octupi
Ice drink
Ticket to Totnes
The German National Anthem

0 Replies

The plural of octopus is octopodes since it isn't Latin, it's Greek
And I bet a million pounds to an ice drink that I know whereof I speak
Have you got a ticket to Totnes or only a ticket to Ryde?
The German National Anthem is one I can't abide.

Ted Hughes's shed
a bitch
toffee
a small spaceship

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I think I'm standing in Ted Hughes's shed,
But he can't stand me-- 'you're a weird ******* bitch,' he poetically said.
I stuck some toffee to his shoes
And tied it to a small spaceship. Now he's on Neptune, singing the blues.

===================
Yellow A4 paper
Guide to Portuguese verbs
Bookmarks
Vladimir Nabokov

0 Replies

drÃ²m_et_rÃªve wrote:

Yellow A4 paper
Guide to Portuguese verbs
Bookmarks
Vladimir Nabokov

Yellow A4 paper makes your CV look quite able
But the Guide to Portuguese verbs is only good for wedging up the table.
I used to use bookmarks but now I fold the page
This would cause Vladimir Nabokov to shout and curse in rage.

Phylloscopus inornatus
Yorkshire
Cream Bun
Lithograph

0 Replies

Phylloscopus inornatus
Yorkshire
Cream Bun
Lithograph

The Yellow-Browed Warbler, or Phylloscopus inornatus
Was lost to me in Yorkshire, when a dog tried to part us.
I consoled myself with a cream bun in Brigg,
And bought a lithograph of Askrigg.

hula hoop
grandson
farthingale
imp

0 Replies

I used to throw hula hoops up at the sun
As a protest against my sister's grandson's grandfather's bad pun.
She tried it, but I warned her: 'don't hit a farthingale,
As that's the imp's dinner; we don't want him to become pale.'

Old diplomas
Yellow floppy disks
A moat in St. Mullin's
Pro-Manx campaigners

0 Replies

Old diplomas
Yellow floppy disks
A moat in St. Mullin's
Pro-Manx campaigners

Old diplomas are yellow
Yellow floppy discs are floppy like jello
So into the moat in St. Mullins they should go
Let some Pro-Manx campaigners give them a throw.

Doctor's Bill
Visa Card
Tweezers
Checkbook

0 Replies

fealola wrote:

Doctor's Bill
Visa Card
Tweezers
Checkbook

My doctor's bill makes me sick so what's the point in that?
I pay it off by Visa card, it helps to make him fat.
I get the hair from up my nose with tweezers and a razor
But when I want a bit of fun it's the checkbook that I favour.

Keyboard
Mouse
Modem
Kookaburra

0 Replies

Keyboard
Mouse
Modem
Kookaburra
A keyboard stretches from here to eternity, because
You can talk to mouse-people in Oz.
I am the very modem of a modern major general
A kookaburra's animal he really isn't vegetable,

harlot
yacht
inkstand
penny whistle

0 Replies

I like to go out kidnapping harlots;
Most of them are in my yachts, but lots
Shrink themselves so they can hide in my inkstand,
And annoy me by blowing the penny whistle in my hand.

Garden shed
Ted Hughes
Robber
Cabriolet.

0 Replies

drÃ²m_et_rÃªve wrote:

Garden shed
Ted Hughes
Robber
Cabriolet.

My garden shed is a land of fake
Where I become Ted Hughes or Francis Drake
Or a robber or a president for a day
And my mower becomes a cabriolet.

Sky
Wind
Fire
Rain

0 Replies

Sky breaks where no sun shines
The wind, representing mushroom farmers, unhappily pines.
I would like to fire this man who claims he's a fish,
And feed myself rainwater in a gilded dish.

Rocky road ice cream
Chemise
Beaujolais
Package from Aix

0 Replies

Rocky road ice cream
Chemise
Beaujolais
Package from Aix

The rocky road to ruin starts with rocky road ice cream
Down your snow-white chemise at the end of a dream.
Beaujolais drips blood red down the walls of your cell.
And the package from Aix contains no good news from Ghent but a key to Hell.

honey
girder
toilet
mug

0 Replies

'Beavers and honey, what a lovely mix'
Said the quack handyman who had come with a girder to fix
My old, gold-plated toilet. I could hear
His jangling my 'French Masters mug,' and filling it with filthy beer.

Tramline
Electric toothbrush
A guillotine
Drieu

0 Replies

Tramline
Electric toothbrush
A guillotine
Drieu

Put the kid on a tramline and tie him down, grumbled the old man
Flushing his electric toothbrush down the pan.
Or better still, guillotine the little brat,
Or give him Drieu, come to that.

Jam
Peg
Rot
Myrrh

0 Replies

Shall I compare thee to gooseberry jam?
You taste like pegs, or like some out-of-date ham
Whenever our lips meet. Your teeth have rot,
And you like to be doused in Myrrh and to sleep in a baby's cot.

Index cards
Ylang Ylang
A Finnish towel
Dictionary of Idiomatic English

0 Replies

Index cards
Ylang Ylang
A Finnish towel
Dictionary of Idiomatic English

Thy index cards are far to few
fill the sink with Ylang Ylang for dishes to do
dry them all with a Finnish towel
and wipe the Dictionary of Idiomatic English, from your brow

soda crackers
bed linen
window pane
poster bed

0 Replies

Soda crackers are not good to eat in bed
Bits get in the bed linen use bread instead
Look out the window pane from your cosy room
Too cold, stay in your poster bed and listen to Tom Jones croon.

Portable welding set
Ladder
United Nations
Wig

0 Replies

Under the portable welding set my will lay, spread.
Leaving my ladder to you when I'm dead.
The United Nations is a wonderful idea
But as artificial as a wig, my dear.

rod
perch
pole
metre

0 Replies

Familiar and household OBJECTS clerihew GAME

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