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Wed 5 Nov, 2003 07:52 am
oiy
dont get me wrong, I realize Alzheimers is a terrible disease however, when dealing with it sometimes you just gotta step back and try to find the humor in it.
I did this to great extent last evening.
Gram is having her 80th birthday today so, I thought letting her ramble on and on for a while would be nice to do for her. It turned out to be the hardest Ive laughed in quiet a long time. Shes like a small confused yet happy child.
The things she comes up with I really just get such a chuckle out of...its incredible how her mind works while not working.
Seems Im going to her big birthday party today at some point, as well as all her old friends and family (intersting since shes in Scottsdale and Im in Boston and oh yeah...no one in the family talks to each other really..plus you know..all her friends are dead now). Also interesting that shes moving into a cute little two bedroom house today, and that she taking her new husband with her, hes only 2 years older than her at 70 ya know.(No, shes not moving but, my mother was interested in the fact that she was to be moving her today to her old house)
She did receive a very nice dish garden however she hopes its artificial because she might forget to water it. She also received a nice artificial dish garden. From her daughter quinn. quinn also sent her a teddy bear in pajamas (well, I did like 4 or 5 years ago).
The funniest part was calling her repeatedly from the time I got home last night just to get no answer. My mom says she unplugs the phone and puts it in her side drawer. When she did pick up the phone..she didnt say anything. Luckily she had the TV on and I knew it was her there somewhere. However, again interesting that the TV doesnt work. She also has grown comfortable with unpluging it and putting the remote in a sock in a drawer for some reason.
The twists and turns in these conversations are incredible. The remembering of things from the past but, not the present is just odd. It seems so scattered yet, then again not really. Its also a constant repetative fact/non fact thinking and speaking.
Living with this type of thing makes me realize how difficult it is of a disease, and that until you do get into the facets of it..you really have no idea. And Ive heard how everyone really has a different experience with it.
Anyone have any interpretations, thoughts on the thought process and its complexity and individuality?
Just wondering really.
Wow, Q, you're a good grandkid! I always felt good that my grandmother had little visits with old friends and family who were long gone. She seemed to enjoy them so. The hardest part of all, for me, was when she new she was losing it and she'd get so mad/frustrated/scared.
I guess my grandma and yours had/have similar experiences with the disease. I imagine that it would be very different for me if it were my own mother, rather than my grandma.
eh...Im okay...I do what I can when I can.
Im glad shes at the point where its this childlike disillusion...that might be nice. Its certainly better than the cracking people with her cane, and wandering thing.
I remember being very upset when she starting showing those..I forget..times..this is better for me, and less stressful for her I think.
Laughing is good in my book.
Yes, I dont look forward to the mother thing....or even my own...jeesh..how depressing...back to the laughing
Well if you get it you can always say "But I need more SoCo - there's none in here!", finish off the bottle for one cup of coffee, pass out and make the rest of us carry you to bed.
The boy and I were talking about this over the weekend. No one in my family has ever had it - but people I know. I'm never sure whether to ignore the random comments, or play along, or correct or....? Just can never figure out what 's the least disrespectful, you know?
Very familiar stuff, Quinn. Both my paternal grandparents were long gone a decade or two before they actually died.
A couple of nuggets I remember...
When I was about 12 (my grandma was still with it enough that she and grandpa lived more or less on their own) my dad and I went down to Bakersfield to paint their garage for the first time in about 40 years. Hard work in Bakersfield in August with no shade. So we go in for lunch one day, and there's a big spread. My dad and I are sitting there chatting and eating with my grandparents. About 20 minutes into the meal, my grandpa (who's been very amicable the whole time, making the sorts of anonymous jokes he started making when it first became apparent that he was having trouble recognizing people) turns to my grandma and tells her how nice it was to make this big lunch for the workmen. Didn't begrudge us anything -- was extraordinarily friendly, in fact -- just didn't have the slightest idea that we were his son and grandson.
Some years later, after grandpa had died and grandma had started needing round-the-clock care (very apparent after a few instances of the highway patrol finding her hitchhiking in her housedress), we were all sitting around at my uncle's after thanksgiving dinner. Grandma's off in her chair with her grim and determined look (she never had the sense of humor my grandpa did) the entire evening, nervously patting our old dog on the head, when suddenly she starts to stand up. (Realize when I say "suddenly" that standing up took three or four minutes.) She then starts in on a long matronly speech. "JB (my grandfather) would like to thank you for coming down (to Bakersfield, 250 miles away) for Christmas (it's thanksgiving)..." and so forth for a solid ten minutes. It became quickly apparent that she'd been transported back 20 or 30 years and was talking to us from there. Really, truly bizarre.
So I know what you're talking about, quinn. Very sad, but it's also got to be very funny, as well (I mean, it's got to be funny or it's just sad as all hell). I was always grateful that my grandfather took it with such good humor. Among his last in his hospital bed were to my grandma, but loud enough for all the nearby hospital staff to understand: "Don't give me too many smooches. It makes the nurses jealous." Grandma, unfortunately, went more the scared and paranoid route...
Sug...that makes me feel so much better..thanks for reminding me (gosh is it starting already???)
At least I know there is a great possibility of it happening to me..I can prepare myself kinda I guess. Ive seen some interesting articles on starting the diet in your 30's as well as mind stimulating games...eh, itll be fine or I wont remember so..its all good...more soco please!!
patio...gosh...if you cant laugh at it...which is so simply hysterical at times, what can you do?
Well, I'll be the one cracking people with a cane and I won't have an excuse - just a crabby old lady who likes to hit people.
But, hey, at least we'll be able to laugh about it
I plan on using old age as an excuse to fart loudly in public.
Alzheimer's - gotta look on the bright side.
Every day you meet new people - and you can hide your own easter eggs....
Let's Hear it For the Old Folks:
A wonderful thing
To be able to read the funnies ten times a day
And laugh every time
If you're able to keep an entirely straight face you can fart loudly in public right now as long as your're standing in a group. Practice a quickly covered look of shock as though you can't believe someone just did that but you're pretending to ignore it......it takes nerve...but the rewards are great.......
But I want to own the moment, Bear...
alzheimers and viagara would make a great combination...you'd think you were doing a different woman several times a night.....you might be forgetful but your self esteem would be through the roof.......
just go for what you know while you can remember it was you who did it then......
ah yes...I would much rather be the crazy lady than the crabby lady
ah the laughs....just as long as you keep laughing all is well in the world
How in the world did I ever miss this topic? Quinn1 you called?
Yes, and I enjoy calling as well
Screaming your lungs out in a vacant lot helps too.
really? Ill have to try that
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