@Dreamer91,
Have you perchance seen a counselor or therapist or psychiatrist?
That might be the better route to finding out what might ail you. Don't put it off (getting professional help) now that you are an adult and you can solicit it for yourself.
Don't let pride, embarrassment, and the seeming obstacle of medical bills stop from making this very important decision in trying to bring some relief form your lifetime of suffering and anxiety.
I won't bother trying to diagnose the cause of your troubles as I'm not even qualified to diagnose my own.
You did stumble onto a forum filled with good supportive people. Welcome to a2k and hopefully we can help guide you to some kind of better sense of self.