Replacement for the irreplacemeble F-Word?

@Ticomaya,

Although those are synonyms with f*ck. I'd say most of them are no less offensive, and I'd argue the others don't sound natural. Honestly, who would say: "I wasn't planning on mounting you." Other than me of course.

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@Roberta,

As we say downunder 'flash your gash'.

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@Thomas,

I believe you meant "boinking". Bonking is like hitting the wall, only worse. You've run out of sugar and glycogen, and you've gone as far as you are going to go.

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@roger,

If the American word is "boinking", that would explain why it was only in Britain that I heard "bonking" in the sense of "*******".

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@Muarck,

Muarck wrote:

Although those are synonyms with f*ck. I'd say most of them are no less offensive, and I'd argue the others don't sound natural. Honestly, who would say: "I wasn't planning on mounting you." Other than me of course.

Yes, of course. The first one was my only serious suggestion for you.

Most of the others were stolen from Burgess Meredith's "Grumpy Old Men" outtakes.

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Screwing or bonking

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Jumping your bones

Heh

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@Mislead,

Yeah, what about boning? How much meaning is lost/saved between these variations?

"I wasn't planning on f*cking you."
"I wasn't planning on screwing you."
"I wasn't planning on boning you."

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@Muarck,

boning has limitations.

if your character is, say a fisherman, well then what?

the poor girl won't know what is coming...

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@Merry Andrew,

We need Merry's opinion! What about boning? How much meaning is lost/saved between these variations?

"I wasn't planning on f*cking you."
"I wasn't planning on screwing you."
"I wasn't planning on boning you."

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@Muarck,

déjà vu all over again...

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@Muarck,

Muarck wrote:

We need Merry's opinion! What about boning? How much meaning is lost/saved between these variations?

"I wasn't planning on f*cking you."
"I wasn't planning on screwing you."
"I wasn't planning on boning you."

I'm flattered, Murack. Really.

Boning's okay except for one small thing. It means just one thing -- sex. It doesn't have that same double-entendre implication that both 'fu*king' and 'screwing' have. We use expressions like "This is really fu*ked up" or "You screwed me on this deal." I've never heard anyone say, "Man, I really got boned" in that sense.

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@Merry Andrew,

I kind of agree. But not entirely. I have heard people saying they've got cheated by saying: "I got boned - hard." Actually that's a quote from Accepted. But the connotation is not quite as strong.

My only issue with "screwing" is it doesn't sound quite raw enough. I think "f*cking" and "boning" are just a little bit more powerful. Maybe I'm wrong just because I use the word "screw" too much.

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just a thought.....

"I wasn't planning on having sex with you."

Just crazy enough that it might work.

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@chai2,

Sometimes the obvious does work. It's funny. I hadn't really thought of that. I'm not sure. What's everybody else think.

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Have we mentioned "I wasn't planning on getting laid"?

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Why is "****" off limits? It think it's fine.

T
K
O

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@MontereyJack,

That's a good one, but I think it needs to be an active verb to work correctly. "getting laid" is a passive verb (happening to the subject.) Where f*cking, screwing, and boning are all actions (performed by the subject).

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@Diest TKO,

It's just not appropriate to the audience.
This is a Walk to Remember like audience. It has sexual references, but not "f*ck."

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@Muarck,

In that case, I think you use something like "sleep" or in my opinion you might have to replace more than just one word. This dialog doesn't read like it's supposed to be funny, so trying too hard to find some other term may sound forced and not organic.

T
K
O

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Replacement for the irreplacemeble F-Word?

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