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Whats a non or less vulgar replacement for the phrase: "Revenge F~ck"?

 
 
Muarck
 
Reply Mon 12 Oct, 2009 03:11 pm
I'm a screenwriter working on a line in a PG13 script. What I want to say is: "Actually, I’d love to revenge **** a whole train of guys. " But I need it to be PG13. So how can I say it without ****?
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Type: Question • Score: 6 • Views: 4,435 • Replies: 40

 
Region Philbis
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 Oct, 2009 03:16 pm
@Muarck,

screw?
Gala
 
  2  
Reply Mon 12 Oct, 2009 03:21 pm
how about a revenge shtup?
Muarck
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 Oct, 2009 03:23 pm
@Region Philbis,
My problem is revenge screw just sounds like I was trying to replace **** with screw. So it really doesn't sound like realistic dialog.
0 Replies
 
Muarck
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 Oct, 2009 03:24 pm
@Gala,
Yeah, and I thought about shtup too! I like the word, but I think it comes down to the same problem. It sounds like I'm trying to replace **** with something else. And therefore ends up sounding kind of fake.
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 Oct, 2009 03:25 pm
@Muarck,
Actually, I’d love to revenge shag a whole train of guys.
0 Replies
 
Muarck
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 Oct, 2009 03:27 pm
@Muarck,
One thing I tried is:

"Actually, I could bang a whole train of guys just for a little revenge."

To me that sounded mostly realistic and had almost the punch of:

"Actually, I’d love to revenge **** a whole train of guys. "

But I still didn't think it was quite good enough.
Unfortunately, I do think the solution will have to be something like that though. Not a one to one word substitution, but an entire re-write of the sentence.
Region Philbis
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 Oct, 2009 03:27 pm
@Muarck,

it'll sound fake no matter what word you come up with -- ain't nothin' like the real thing...

bang?
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 Oct, 2009 03:31 pm
@Muarck,
This character doesn't sound particularly classy. Is that a fair assessment?
Muarck
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 Oct, 2009 03:32 pm
@Region Philbis,
I disagree actually. That's not always true. A while ago I was on here trying to work out another phrase. The original was: "You're a fucked up coach ******* up our students." I substituted: "You're a washed up coach, burning out our students." And I honestly think the G version is better. Took forever to think of though. This time though, I think the solution won't be as simple as replacing two words, I think it will require re-writing the original phrase.
Muarck
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 Oct, 2009 03:33 pm
@tsarstepan,
Actually, the character is quite classy, but at the same time really upfront, and currently going through a terrible divorce.
0 Replies
 
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 Oct, 2009 03:44 pm
Actually, a retaliation bang of every guy on a train might make me feel better.

Bang, train... kind of rhymes.
Robert Gentel
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 Oct, 2009 03:49 pm
@boomerang,
Not train as in choo choo train, but train as in queue. ;-)
boomerang
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 Oct, 2009 03:50 pm
@Robert Gentel,
Thanks! I've not heard that expression before.

Okay. Change my "on" to "in".
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 Oct, 2009 03:57 pm
@Muarck,
I read Carcaterra's Sleepers recently (now there's a book..). I'll do a skim and see if I can pick up anything useful there. He had some graphic scenes that read true but I don't think he splattered language around in a gross manner.

Anyway, interesting question. I'll think on it.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 Oct, 2009 03:59 pm
@ossobuco,
Didn't see Boomer's post. That sounded fine. Or, fine enough.
0 Replies
 
joefromchicago
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 Oct, 2009 04:09 pm
@Muarck,
Muarck wrote:

One thing I tried is:

"Actually, I could bang a whole train of guys just for a little revenge."

To me that sounded mostly realistic and had almost the punch of:

"Actually, I’d love to revenge **** a whole train of guys. "

But I still didn't think it was quite good enough.

How about: "I'd like to make babies with a large and random assortment of gentlemen as a means of expressing my desire to gain some measure of satisfaction at your resulting distress."

Really, I think "I could bang a whole train of guys just for a little revenge" is just as offensive as the original. Just because you don't use the word "****" in your alternative doesn't mean it doesn't conjure up the same image.
0 Replies
 
joefromchicago
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 Oct, 2009 04:11 pm
@boomerang,
boomerang wrote:

Actually, a retaliation bang of every guy on a train might make me feel better.

How you doin'?

http://marcel-marchon.com/img--117945132--Chicago-El-train--m.jpg
0 Replies
 
engineer
 
  4  
Reply Mon 12 Oct, 2009 04:37 pm
@Muarck,
I think the real problem is that if you express the sentiment correctly, I don't see how whatever you say will be PG-13. All the talk arounds still come up R.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Mon 12 Oct, 2009 04:59 pm
@engineer,
Yeh, I agree with that.

Punt to another concept.. it is, after all, a throwaway line, not the story line. (I was married to a screenwriter.)


Is there room for humor?
0 Replies
 
 

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