A question from Diane...
Quote:Dear Pope Gus,
Does Slappy ever get used to being slapped. Does he actually enjoy it?
Slappy lives to be slapped. It is the essence of his being. And, yes, he does enjoy it.
I'm beginning to imagine Slappy in leather. Is that something I should worry about?
I sometimes think of the two of you passing the hat. What is the world coming to?
Dlowan has a headache. She holds her throbbing head in her little rabbit paws and asks this question...
Quote:Why is life so unfair, Gus?
Life isn't meant to be a bed of roses. You will have difficult days. It is unfortunate that for you they
all are. Have you ever considered opium or hashish or some mind-altering drug to ease the pain?
These things can help.
An observation from Diane...
Quote:I'm beginning to imagine Slappy in leather
Now you did it! Dlowan's headache has just increased to an unbearable level.
Slappy is suffering. He wants to know...
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Quote:I drank enough last night to kill a small-to-medium-sized Somalian village. Now, I'm so hungover the voices in my head are telling me to throw rocks at old people in front of the nursing home....the voices are good salesmen...what do I do?
Bi-Polar, not being qualified, still attempted and offered this advice.
Quote:good god slap, you don't need the pope for this kind of advice....Bloody Mary, Man....QUICKLY !!!!!! BIG ONE!!!!!!
Ignore Bi-Polar's advice Slappy. Go with your instincts.
Take out the village.
Dear Gus:
What kind of background does one need to become Pope? Do they give you a secret decoder ring once you've been promoted?
Jespah, I guess I was in the right place at the right time. There are a lot of good pope candidates out there -- people who deserve an opportunity to wear the pointy hat. What can I say? I got lucky.
And, no, decoder rings are not part of the papacy.
How could you ask such a silly question?
Gus, is any question really silly?
Dear Dr. Ratz,
Okay, maybe my last question was too hard for you. I will try something easier.
Perhaps you can solve a longstanding family argument. Everytime we gather for a holiday meal, this same topic comes up. Tempers flare, voices are raised. Somebody stomps out. Everyone has an opinion, and everyone insists he/she is right and the others are wrong. It is tearing our family apart. So...here it is. Which is better: flat toothpicks or round toothpicks?
(signed) Picky, Picky...
while Ratz is away I shall answer your ? eva. I am pretty sure that in OklaDamnHoma the pocket knife known as a "frog sticker" is the correct implement to use as a toothpick.
Dys
Oh, Dys, you have such elegant taste - sigh
BBB
Oh my, dys, you must have Tulsa confused with those redneck, tobacco-chewin', hell-raisin' WEST Oklahoma cowboy towns. Nosirree, none of that low-class stuff 'round here. We go to art museums, dine on fine cuisine, and go sailing at the lake on weekends. Well, um, some of us do. Others of us just sleep late and play on the computer (heehee!)
And monitor family fights. You know, the ones where we argue over toothpicks and similar crises.
"For the moment, the new traffic signals installed in late August at East 51st Street and South Memorial Drive are unique in Tulsa. They are the only traffic signals with protected-only left turns regulated with three colors of arrows: green, yellow and red."
Are the natives confused with so many different colours to chose from? At least it's good to know Tulsans are capable of left turns.
Pope Gus attacks my every word and has hurt my feelings for the last time.
I'm a sensitive bear.
You'll be hearing from my attorneys Rabinowitz, Rabinowitz, Rabinowitz and Smith. Smith is their "house goy" .
Prepare for Old Testament style vengence.
PS Here's a question...if you are the vicar of Christ why do you ride around behind bullet proof glass? Are you afraid someone might shoot you and you'll go to heaven? Isn't that the idea?
Bear, allow me to handle this one.
His Popeness, having already been shot, came to the Canadians and begged for our help becuase so many of our illustrious leaders had been mowed down in their prime. So we created the pope mobile. In gratitude the Pope has travelled the world showing off Canadian inventiveness.
Ceili
Squinney has purchased the "don't touch me you pig" bedroom model to sleep in.
Thanks a lot.
Gus must be snoozing again because he still hasn't responded to my last question. I feel so neglected.
He might be receiving the last rites....look for smoke up the chimney........
oh oh!!! I thought I smelled something burning!
