4
   

birth dad relased from prison and wants vistion

 
 
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Sat 30 Jan, 2010 12:52 pm
@saab,
Oh Saab, I can only wonder if it was reverse and it was the mother who ended up in prison for years and after being released the first thing on her mind was to reconnect to her child if you would be telling the father that his new female partner is in fact the mother and he should do whatever is needed to block the woman from being in the little girl life.

Bet you would not be doing so not in any manner or in any way.

Sorry but the father rights and far far more important the child rights to have a relationship with both set of parents whenever possible far out weight the rights of the mother not to have her life place in some turmoil.

Not an implanted fear of her father or a fear with no foundation of kidnapping is enough to stop the rights of both the father and the child to get to know each other.

Hopefully, the mother in this case will take a deep breath and begin to work the situation out with the man in a peaceful manner for the good of her child.
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Sat 30 Jan, 2010 01:01 pm
@saab,
Saab he was in prison most of his daughter life and the mother is not claiming child abuse now so that excuse for not allowing him to see her is gone that the child is remembering bad treatment by him.

The other reasons for the fears of this child can be greatly reduce by the words and actions of both the mother and the step-father and they have a duty to do so in my opinion.

No one had stated that bringing this man back into the girl life should not be handle carefully and slowly but that does not effect the fact that unless there is a proven danger of so doing he should be allow into the girl life.
0 Replies
 
saab
 
  1  
Reply Sat 30 Jan, 2010 01:31 pm
@BillRM,
It is less a question of a mother or father who has been to prison, but a parent who has not tried to keep contact with their child and been in prison for drugs, violence and possible murder. That is not a person I would like my child to have any contact with.
A parent who tries to keep in contact with his/hers child and has been in prison for non violence and possible murder is something else.
engineer
 
  1  
Reply Sat 30 Jan, 2010 02:11 pm
@saab,
I think a father has certain rights and responsibilities, but I also think this is an unusual case. This man is essentially a stranger. Would you let your child go off with a distant uncle you hadn't seen in eight years just because he asked? Since he is the father and nothings been posted to suggest that he is overtly dangerous, go meet him like you would any other man that you don't really know. Stay public and put a time limitation on it. There is nothing he needs to say to the daughter than the mother can't hear as well.
saab
 
  1  
Reply Sat 30 Jan, 2010 02:16 pm
@engineer,
Best would be that the mother and step father met him first alone without the girl and get an impression of him and then work out something. As you said in a public place and just for a short time with the girl.
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Sat 30 Jan, 2010 02:37 pm
@saab,
Quote:
That is not a person I would like my child to have any contact with
.

The US family court do not removed and have no history of removing parental rights from people because of misdeeds that does not involved their children and or tend to prove that he or she is a likely danger to the child.

So yes he is surely not what I would view as an ideal parent material however he is the child parent and until or unless a court rule that the normal rights of a parent should be taken away from him he does indeed have a right to be part of his daughter life.

Now if the mother here is determent to try to stop him from having a part of his child life I can only wish her good luck as I question if the courts would not side hundred percent with the father with the information given so far here.

Such a legal fight would delay things and tend to increase the fear of the child toward her own father however.

If this matter could be work out between the two parents in a civil manner it would be far better overall for the child in my opinion.
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Sat 30 Jan, 2010 02:40 pm
@saab,
So we are all in agreement that this if at all possible should be work out is a civil manner!
0 Replies
 
saab
 
  1  
Reply Sat 30 Jan, 2010 02:49 pm
@BillRM,
The US family court do not removed and have no history of removing parental rights from people because of misdeeds that does not involved their children and or tend to prove that he or she is a likely danger to the child.

That sounds too good to be true, but I guess I have to believe you if you say so.
Then USA is different to some European countries where children have been removed from their families where the children have in no way been mistreated, had a bad family life etc. They have been removed just because the social worker did not like the family.
I know of a Swedish woman whose son was removed because she wanted him to also be able to speak English to keep in contact with his American father. Just now a 10 year old English boy was taken away from his mother just because his father wanted him and the boy hated his father. His going to live 100 miles away from the mother. The list is endless.
OCCOM BILL
 
  1  
Reply Sat 30 Jan, 2010 03:24 pm
@fdustwings,
fdustwings wrote:

The birth dad of my 10 yr child who has been in jail and prison for 8 yrs and has not paid child support (ever) or seen her in 6 yrs, as been relased and wants vistion. The dad of my other 2 children( who has fincially and emtionally supported her) wants to adopt her , where do i start? we "daddy" live in different states. Another big thing is , we are not married. We have been the jr/high school sweethearts off/ on for 20yrs. My 10yr knows of her bio father, but as only really known " daddy" I know his jail n prison is for drugs, violation and poss murder charge. My daughter is scared the bio- father will take away her " daddy" She doesnt wan to talk to him, and I just wish he would see, she is happy, very good and loves this man who wants her. I want to do what is best and " daddy" has been there for all of us. what do I do?

1. Contact a family law attorney in your state. You should be able to get a free consultation with someone who actually understands the laws specific to where you live. They are NOT uniform throughout the country. What states do each of you live in, anyway?
2. Although BillRM likes to speak from authority; you can probably tell by now that he talks mostly out of his ass. Consider him the village idiot and make no decision based on anything he says.
3. Did bio-dad have any "placement" prior to going away? How about custody? Is that, and has it always been yours alone? I would tend to doubt any judge would order an extended stay without some working up from supervised to unsupervised visitation… if at all. Most likely, the only way he'd get such an arrangement is with your consent. Good luck to you.
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Sat 30 Jan, 2010 05:01 pm
@OCCOM BILL,
I love you to Bill and at least you are right that if she is going to consider fighting the child father in seeing his child at all she should at once see a lawyer and also carry a big bag of money with her.

No one here had suggested for one second that the father under the conditions name should be or would be granted anything but short supervise visits at first by the courts.

By the postings here of the mother, however I get the impression that she does not wish him to see the child at all and in my talking out of the old assholes way it is my opinion that she had no chance in the world of pulling that off.

So she can reach an agreement of short supervise visits with the father at first herself or she can plan to spend the family savings on lawyers.

Once more I love you Bill here is a big kiss from me to you.
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Sat 30 Jan, 2010 05:15 pm
@saab,
Quote:
some European countries where children have been removed from their families where the children have in no way been mistreated, had a bad family life etc. They have been removed just because the social worker did not like the family.


We sadly have for the most part the reverse problem here where children time after time had been place back into abused homes and then either greatly harm or kill as a result.

Keeping or bringing families back together if possible is the first principle even at the cost of the children physical wellbeing.

Not to say that poor families without resources can not be harm by the actions of overeager social workers from time to time.


0 Replies
 
stillhere
 
  1  
Reply Mon 22 Feb, 2010 02:09 pm
Exactly! The childrens best interest are not what is first and foremost and my 10 year old daughter is living proof. The bio father didn't rape me but he did poke holes in the condoms I found out later to take ultimate control of my life. He is diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses and was just released from prison. I was unaware of this conmans intentions or history as his family apparently hoped I WOULD CHANGE HIM or at least keep him away from them. Well the child is now being forced into reunification with a man multiple officials have suggested I protect her from but unless I had a $1mill. to fight this in court, 'bio' dad has rights........child has none.
I guess be grateful your childs bio dad didn't figure out how to use the law library like mine did as he got much of the beginning of his legal stuff free at our tax dollars expense from his prison cell then when he got out, he got free help from an extreme evangelic church. What a nightmare! We didn't have a chance this time but I still believe in Karma and 10 fold is all I can hope for.
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Mon 22 Feb, 2010 07:21 pm
@stillhere,
The child had the right to know his or her father even if you now hate the man.
fdustwings
 
  1  
Reply Wed 21 Apr, 2010 11:05 pm
@BillRM,
Children have a voice and as her mother I am here to support and protect her from people who could hurt her. Her bio has not physcially hurt her but emtionally, more than once. I am protecting her. I hope for his new wife n new baby, he has changed. For my daughter, she is happy, stable and has a man to whom she calls daddy and loves him. She has spent 10 yrs not knowing this other man, and her feelings count to me. So BillRM, as much as you may know about court issues, each situations are diff. My children are #1 in my life, an I do what I do to show them I love them and to keep them safe. An to all others who feel all men should have the right to see their children, think about those who have been hurt. A child should never have to ask the Q, how come my daddy/mommy doesn't love me? My kids know I love them, sure they get tired of hearing it, I say it allot. I want them to always know, no Q about that!
BillRM
 
  1  
Reply Thu 22 Apr, 2010 06:43 am
@fdustwings,
A young child will cheerfully pick up the attitude of his or her care giver so knock the silliness that the child had free will concerning his or her opinion of having a relationship with the other parent.

Such is unlikely to wash with the courts or anyone else that have any commonsense.

Wonder how must hell you would be going though now if the situation had been reverse and that not even the main problem as you are harming the very child you are claiming to be protecting.

Yes a father had as must rights as you do and I can only hope that the harm you are doing to your child can still be undone.

Shame on you as you are in effect a child abuser yourself.




0 Replies
 
 

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