Thu 17 Jun, 2010 08:18 am
My ex wants custody of our 5 yr old daughter. Instead of going to court, we both agreed to do a social study. The worker called the other day and we made a appointment for the 30th. I'm just trying to figure out what to expect. I live in a mobile home, he just moved into a house. I've lived here for 10 yrs, and it does need upkeep, but theres nothing dangerously wrong with it. Coloring on the walls, the carpet has pen stains from years ago, (that I can't get out), and stuff like that.
I'm a good mom, and always do my best. I am not working right now, but I am going to school and plan on continuing my education. My kids get the medical care they need, lots of love from me and our family (grandparents, aunt, uncles, cousins) food, clothing, ect. I am a full time mom and do the best I can in raising them. Theres been no unexplained emergencies, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, or any other kind of abuse.
He works long hours and travels for his job. He also isn't close to his family, he has a brother and 2 sisters. When I dated him he wasn't close with them and called them names. He also has friends that he call his brothers (and our daughter calls his friends aunts/uncles)
There has been a few times her father has tried to get me in trouble, and involves CPS, but after investigating the cases are closed. He's out and out lied to them, and I have the reports to prove it. He's used CPS as a way of hurting me, instead of actual concern.
He's used her as a messenger, calls her liar alot, picks on her (clothing, shoes, hair), doesnt give her her medicine, made ugly comments about my son (how hes "fatherless" and made comments when he was really sick: he wouldn't give our daughter her medicine, she'd get sick and when I told him how he was causing her sickness he said "is it my fault shes sick, is it MY fault your sons always sick" which was very painful because my son was born pretty sick and hasn't had a lot of breaks) he even got our daughter to say how her brother was fatherless, on Christmas day we had to rush to the ER, and the nurse was talking about how cute my son is and asked if he looks like his dad and my daughter was like "he doesn't have a dad" and kept repeating it.
He also has not gotten her medical care when needed. One time he pulled her up by her arms during a tantrum and pulled the socket out (nursemaids elbow) and he made her take a nap before getting her medical care. The following year he called me up and accused me of sending her there sick without telling him. He said she had a horrible rash all over her face and body. I asked him to get her medical care, and he refused and hung up on me. I called the police, and it was just a mild case of dry skin. But he scared me alot.
I have emails and journals about these things and more. Hes already lied to his lawyer a few times. And I'm sure hes going to lie to the social worker.
I'm afraid that because my house isn't perfect, though I plan on giving it a big clean and organizing it, that they will decide his house is better.
What are my chances? Will the social worker recommend a phycological eval? parenting/co-parenting classes? anger management classes?
I can't get ahold of the social worker, shes very busy this week and next. And my lawyer told me to talk to her. She was suppose to email me, so I know what to expect, but haven't heard from her. I'm stressing cause the 30th is a few weeks away. I also don't have the money for it right now. I agreed to pay for half, and was going to ask my brother to help me. But hes going on vacation next month and doesn't have it. I jsut wasn't expecting it to be so soon....