Fear or Behavioral?

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We recently moved and have taken in a stray cat. Her ear is clipped so I'm assuming she is or was considered feral, but she is actually a very nice cat. We have other pets in the house but none of that seems to be an issue. What is an issue is my boyfriend. He is the one that took her in, plays with her, feeds her, etc. For some reason and its not all the time, when he walks into the room her ears go back, she tenses up, and urinates right where she is(which has always been the cage we have her in-luckily!) I only have her in the cage so she has somewhere to go to feel safe and I would like to get her out of the cage permanently. My question is-is she urinating out of fear or is it behavioral? Do the two go hand in hand? How can I get her to like my boyfriend ALL the time? He actually has a hard time understanding why she don't like him & blames me for making him the bad guy(he trapped her and brought her into the house, etc) Please advise, I don't want to give her up-she has potential!

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Type: Question • Score: 3 • Views: 931 • Replies: 16

@llexpress20,

Cats respond to attention a lot less than dogs. They tend to bond more with their provider. Instead of leaving the cat with a full food dish all of the time, try get the cat use to an eating schedule so that he has to ask for food when he’s hungry. If your boyfriend takes up the task of being the on call food supplier your cat will start to show him more trust.

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How old is this cat Can you tell ?

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@llexpress20,

Has she been spayed? I mean, I assume the ear-clip would indicate she had, but maybe it's just a scar?

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@sullyfish6,

From talking to the neighbors I gather she showed about 2 years ago and from just looking at her in comparison to other cats I'm guessing she is about 3-maybe 4 but that would be stretching it.

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@BorisKitten,

Its not a scar-I've checked that out. My guess is that she was probably brought in as a feral so she could be fixed and then left outside. From what the neighbors say she has taken some abuse from area boys--being chased, snowballs thrown at her, etc.

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@llexpress20,

llexpress20 wrote:

Its not a scar-I've checked that out. My guess is that she was probably brought in as a feral so she could be fixed and then left outside. From what the neighbors say she has taken some abuse from area boys--being chased, snowballs thrown at her, etc.

There you go. You just might actually have the answer under your nose. It's probably the cat's kneejerk reaction to you boyfriend coming into the room. Cat version of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder). The neighborhood brats/bullies and perhaps the cat's past owner probably abused the cat. I would give the cat some time, along with what Lastprofit wisely said. The cat's seemingly riding on fear and instinct when these little events occur.

Hopefully time will help bond the two together until this stops. Then also try the vet. Maybe the cat still has its working mechanisms back there and its also exasperating these panic attacks.

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@tsarstepan,

Also, seriously... someone needs to get someone to talk to these neighbors' brats/supposed kids.

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@llexpress20,

Oh, poor Baby Kitteh! How could anyone do such a thing and live with themselves?

Still, this history might explain a lot for you.

I have dogs who are MUCH more afraid of male humans than of females, despite said persons' behavior towards them.

Congratulations to you for your concern & caring about this troubled kitteh... and could you let us know, please, what happens in the future?

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@BorisKitten,

I said Oh Poor baby Kitteh---6 times now!! The good news is that for the most part the rest of the clan(5 cats and 2 dogs) do fine with her and she loves me. My boyfriend is working with her, because she is a good cat and deserves it. I will keep everyone posted on this adventure....

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Thanks, Ilex, a bunch of us would like that, and welcome to a2k..

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@ossobuco,

Yep. I'll be standing by with my finger's crossed hoping for some good news.

Also welcome to a2k llexpress20! Smile

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@llexpress20,

llexpress20 wrote:

I said Oh Poor baby Kitteh---6 times now!! The good news is that for the most part the rest of the clan(5 cats and 2 dogs) do fine with her and she loves me. My boyfriend is working with her, because she is a good cat and deserves it. I will keep everyone posted on this adventure....

Welcome to the forum! I agree with the Last Profit,
to whose wisdom I will add the suggestion of HANDFEEDING by boyfriend.

When my cats had kittens, when thay were old enuf,
I picked each one up, individually (I believe in Individualism)
and gave him or her a bite size morsel of roast chicken; invariably,
he sniffed it, tasted it and loved it, whereupon I had a new lifelong feline friend. INSTANTANEOUS domestication

Have boyfriend employ handfeeding.
Have him also scratch her jaw.

Don 't anyone call me the cat whisperer.

David

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@OmSigDAVID,

Quote:

...add the suggestion of HANDFEEDING by boyfriend.

Excellent plan, David!

You ARE a Cat Whisperer...

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@BorisKitten,

Thank u, Boris

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Update: We have taken the cage down, built the kitty a hamock, put up another small cat house, and added a litter box to "her" area. She comes out more and is getting better every day with the men in the house. We have added a new puppy to the mix and he tried to take the cat toy-she taught him not to touch her toys!

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@llexpress20,

Quote:

We have added a new puppy to the mix and he tried to take the cat toy-she taught him not to touch her toys!

Sisters are doin' it for themselves!

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Fear or Behavioral?

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