How to hire a tutor?

Does Mo know about non-verbal learning disability ?

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@boomerang,

We are coached to not tell kids they are doing well when they aren't. Or, more spcifically, we should say something like: I can see you're really trying and I love that you are putting so much effort into your work. But we still need to work on x, y, or z.

So, be specific when you praise and be specific about what needs more work.

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Yes, he understands the difference CJane. He's in the main classroom most of the day, and, on some days he's there all day. The special ed classes are more fun and much easier so he's not really motivated to move out of them.

And I'm cool with him being in special ed. I love him no matter what. The whole thing with the tutor is really to help him learn how to get the work done. Everybody knows he can do the work but all the incoming "noise" of the classroom makes him spin out. He's falling further and further behind.

I know little k... I don't want his teachers to be discouraging at all but to a kid as literal as Mo that doesn't do the trick.

I know it sounds harsh but he really needs to hear it that things are not so great at school.

This morning I pulled out all of his report cards and we all went over them together pointing out how things are deteriorating. How the grades the teachers are sending home on his report card don't really match up with what he's hearing from his teachers.

And yes it hurt his feelings and yes I feel like a total jerk but at least I feel like he's starting to "get it" about the tutor.

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@OmSigDAVID,

Quote:

Is it possible to give him something nice,
to soothe him and mellow him out a little ?

I have considered hitting my pothead friend up for some of her stash but I'm not prepared to go to jail and lose my kid for being his supplier.

I'm also not prepared to buy him off.

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@boomerang,

boomerang wrote:

Quote:
Is it possible to give him something nice,
to soothe him and mellow him out a little ?

I have considered hitting my pothead friend up for some of her stash
but I'm not prepared to go to jail and lose my kid for being his supplier.

I'm also not prepared to buy him off.

Acknowledged and understood that u r not going to buy him off.
However, an agricultural analogy, if I may so offer:
rather than just dropping a seed (seed = tutor) on the hard packed ground,
it might be best to open the soil, loosen it up,
securely cover the seed, to enhance probability of germination n growth.

If u give him something that u know he likes (within the law and within reasonable convenience)
u might put him into a happier, more fertile state-of-mind,
thereby to enhance the probability of his accepting n learning better academic skills.
This woud not be quid pro quo, but a gesture of unconditional love (to calm him down).
Morale really IS important.
I have no idea whatsoever what he likes; from your dwelling closely with him,
maybe u can think of some morale raisers to counter-act his rage & indignation,
lull him into quiescence and raise the chances of his seeing the tutor as a friend, not an intrusive enemy.

David

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@OmSigDAVID,

not having any kids David you do not know that bribing your kids weakens your position in the relationship forever. Much better to set expectations, and then give the kid the tools to meet those expectations, and then if they make it praise them but if they don't explain to them that their performance is not good enough.

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@hawkeye10,

hawkeye10 wrote:

not having any kids David you do not know that bribing your kids weakens your position
in the relationship forever. Much better to set expectations,
and then give the kid the tools to meet those expectations,
and then if they make it praise them but if they don't explain
to them that their performance is not good enough.

I made the particular point that it is NOT a bribe (which is a contract).
Rather, it is an expression of unconditional love.
I hope that u r able to see the difference.

Boomer is investing a good chunk of cash in this tutor.
I have a hunch that she wants this to actually WORK
not to "explain" that its not good enuf.

David

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@OmSigDAVID,

greed is not always the best motivator, and in any case it is not one of the better human qualities. The challenge of meeting an expectation is often a great motivator.

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@hawkeye10,

hawkeye10 wrote:

The challenge of meeting an expectation is often a great motivator.

NOT if he resents the challenge and rejects it

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@OmSigDAVID,

Quote:

NOT if he resents the challenge and rejects it

If so then he must be made to feel sufficient pain to cause him to reverse course.

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@hawkeye10,

hawkeye10 wrote:

Quote:
NOT if he resents the challenge and rejects it

If so then he must be made to feel sufficient pain to cause him to reverse course.

That declares a state of war between the two, inviting reprisals for the "pain".
Teaching by terror ?

That is NOT conducive to acquiring the sought academic skills.

Hawkeye, I believe that u r taking this off topic from Boomer's thread.
I don 't want to do that to her. Let 's end this tangent now.

David

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@OmSigDAVID,

Parents are in a position to motivate their children towards success, and must do so, it is a moral imperative. Talking about different motivators is most certainly not tangential to this thread.

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Quote:

And then he said "You're the only one who thinks I'm stupid."

i know exactly how this feels.
i've had this as well.
in my case it came at age 17. 'my father thinks i'm a f ...up. said with tears and high emotion '

We were refused remedial classes during primary school.

I have no answers except to say you are not alone
Do whatever you need to do and do it now before it is too late and do not give in or give up.
if one thing doesnt work try something else. Keep trying but ensure you keep showing overt love.

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@hawkeye10,

hawkeye10 wrote:

Parents are in a position to motivate their children towards success, and must do so, it is a moral imperative.
Talking about different motivators is most certainly not tangential to this thread.

I am satisfied that Boomer will do as she sees fit.

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@dadpad,

Quote:

I have no answers except to say you are not alone
Do whatever you need to do and do it now before it is too late and do not give in or give up.
if one thing doesnt work try something else. Keep trying but ensure you keep showing overt love.

Thanks dadpad. I hate to think that others have been through this stuff but advice from someone who's been there is always appreciated.

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@boomerang,

You may already know this publisher

http://www.orcabook.com/?countryID=CAN

I heard a really great feature on the radio with the people who developed their program for reluctant readers - Orca Soundings.

Reluctant as in difficulty reading and/or disinterested.

There are some aural samples on the website

http://us.orcabook.com/client/client_pages/Orca_Soundings_Info.cfm

also hi/low for boys

http://us.orcabook.com/showproducts.cfm?Step=1&CrossCatID=10

~~~

ah, found the link to the program

http://www.cbc.ca/thesundayedition/shows/201001/20100124.html

you might find it encouraging listening (I think it was in Part 2 - link about halfway down the page)

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That site looks very cool eBeth. I'm going to read around on it a bit. Thank you.

Tonight is the big night which might have been why we had the weirdest damn day around here. Interestingly, Mo manufactured a big "scary entrance" today and passed with flying colors. Perhaps he was rehearshing for going to the tutor's house.

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Children school is best place to find tutor. At present where your child reading?

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Well, while appointing any tutor try and check on trial basis how he/she is compatible or rather comfortable with Mo. and then go for long run..try and check tutor's teaching abilities b'coz there might be many tutors who have long run experience but sometimes not comfortable with the person..so while appointing the tutor please check the compatibility with Mo. which will be beneficial in the long run..

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