How to hire a tutor?

Actually, I don't think David's idea is wacky.

In business I learned that the way to get what I wanted/needed was to make people think that my idea was their idea. I didn't care about getting the credit for the idea, I just wanted the results.

If Mo thinks he has some control over the situation it might help him buy into the idea more. It would be something he was doing, not something we were making him do.

I talked to the school this morning and got a few reccomendations, they said they'd have a few more for me tomorrow.

One of the referrals is to a woman with 18 years working as a special education teacher. She's kind of expensive but it might be worth it.....

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@boomerang,

I'm hesitant to recommend a tutor. I don't know how you do that without sending a message to Mo that he has a problem that needs fixing. He sounds like a smart kid. You read to him and he likes that you read to him. Doesn't the school have a reading teacher? Here we have special teachers that pull kids out that need extra help with reading. Check with you school first.

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@Swimpy,

He does have and IEP for reading and it is helping.

Honestly though, I'm getting worried about him getting held back a year. Not that there's anything awful about that but I don't think Mo has the self-confidence to deal with it very well. Academically I think it wouldn't be a bad idea but I think it would emotionally crush him.

Already he's getting a little weird about having the IEP since he's at the age where other kids notice such things (being pulled out of class for extra help). I think he gets teased about it a little bit.

I can't help but wonder if a little extra one-on-one help might help him be more confident in his abilities.

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@boomerang,

boomerang wrote:

Actually, I don't think David's idea is wacky.

In business I learned that the way to get what I wanted/needed
was to make people think that my idea was their idea. I didn't care
about getting the credit for the idea, I just wanted the results.

If Mo thinks he has some control over the situation it might help him
buy into the idea more. It would be something he was doing,
not something we were making him do.

I talked to the school this morning and got a few reccomendations,
they said they'd have a few more for me tomorrow.

One of the referrals is to a woman with 18 years working as a special
education teacher. She's kind of expensive but it might be worth it.....

If u implement this strategy,
then I suggest that before each lesson,
u give Mo the money to pay the tutor.
He can keep it in his wallet until
the time comes to pay the tutor,
whereupon the cash passes from Mo's hand,
thereby reinforcing the underlying concept.

However,
there might be a flaw in my reasoning about this.
Sozobe has brought out a logically cogent concern about this, to wit:
". . . I just know so many smart people who don't know how to teach kids.
. . . People without training can get it intuitively,
but I'm not quite sure how to test for it
(how to know ahead of time if a given person "gets it" or not). "

I am at a loss for a suggestion as to how Mo (or anyone)
can successfully select a competent teacher. Trial & error?

Maybe from prior reputation?

David

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Some good old fashioned role playing might help Mo. He'd have to study his part, memorize the lines and recite them. Any chance he and the neighborhood kids can put on a skit for the holidays, or that he can participate in a school play?

1 Reply

@Butrflynet,

Butrflynet wrote:

Some good old fashioned role playing might help Mo.
He'd have to study his part, memorize the lines and recite them.
Any chance he and the neighborhood kids can put on a skit for the holidays,
or that he can participate in a school play?

That 's an excellent idea.

If he has a passion, get him books on that;
(but then Mo might make Boom read them to him).

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@boomerang,

Could I offer a different perspective. Been umming and ahhing whether to post.

Quote:

When I suggest he read to me he gets incredibly sad. When I force him to read to me he gets incredibly angry. I don't think I'm the person to help him with this.

The weird thing is -- he actually reads pretty good, but there just seems to be a wall when it comes to actually doing it.

(italicising the points that struck me)

My eldest son would not and still will not read, unless it is of his choosing.

At around 7 years old that, tho very able and competent at reading, he chose not to, would not. It caused upset until we finally discovered this was because he believed that if he read a book, especially at night, it would mean his Dad/me would stop reading to him altogether (i.e. he was old enough to read on his own). This was a nightly ritual when his father wasn’t travelling, often the same book over and over. It wasn’t that he couldn’t read " he just would not read but loved to be read to. His father read to him for hours " he could be lost in the world of a fictional book, but only if he was being read to.

As he got a little older he chose only to read things that would interest him. E.g. a fishing magazine, a bug encylopedia, dinosaurs books, nature books, planets etc. Fact based information - non fiction. Things that interested him he would avidly read. Anything else, he would not look at. He still does not read books, tho he is an able reader, however, he writes lyrics for songs (eminem style/rap) constantly, has recorded his music in a studio and made CD's.

I know that does not have anything to do with the question regarding a tutor, so apologies for that " different situation, just saying, from another perspective, just a thought.

I think David and Butrflynet have a good idea. Perhaps reading scripts with Mo " he enjoys acting, he could maybe take the lead.

1 Reply

@boomerang,

call your nearest school and see whove theyve got to do tutoring and who theyd reccomend.

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@Izzie,

Here are some links to sites with play scripts for kids. I'll let your mouse do the browsing through them since you know best what subjects will spark Mo's interest.

free play scripts for kids

printable play scripts for kids

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I think it's been said already, but asking the school is a great way to go. Teachers and other school staff (instructors, aids, subs, etc) often tutor for extra cash. They have background in ed in general and also can get specific info from Mo's teacher.

1 Reply

@littlek,

I ken be a speling tewtor. I spells good.
Im gona have a spel rite now.

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@boomerang,

Quote:

In business I learned that the way to get what I wanted/needed was to make people think that my idea was their idea. I didn't care about getting the credit for the idea, I just wanted the results.

You are wise , even though you are not rich in the bounty of years. Lotta people in sales NEVER learn that trick.

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By one of those remarkable coincidences, I drove by the Farmington Boys and Girls Club. Their sign today read: Tutors Available. Inquire Within.

If you don't turn up something else, you might see if you have a local Boys Club, or Boys and Girls Club. They could have further suggestions, even if they don't offer the service.

Now, I don't know if this outfit could tutor a duck in swimming, but it is worth an inquiry. Really, I would prefer someone with educational experience over someone that happened to enjoy reading, but. . . .

Oh, and maybe the subject material matters. At one time, my sister tutored in math and reading. For one student, she said she had to use one of the national wrestling magazines. She said it was surprisingly well written, by the way. My own son wouldn't read unless absolutely necessary. Yet, I saw him engrossed in a Wall Street Journal article on the Grateful Dead, back when Jerry Garcia was still around.

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Mo used to love to go to the Boy's and Girl's club but something happened and he won't set foot in the place now.

I interviewed a tutor today. We're meeting next week to see how things "click". She sounds great.

Mo is absolutely, positively FURIOUS with me.

Mommy needs a little vacation.....

2 Replies

@boomerang,

boomerang wrote:

Mo used to love to go to the Boy's and Girl's club but something happened and he won't set foot in the place now.

I interviewed a tutor today. We're meeting next week to see how things "click". She sounds great.

Mo is absolutely, positively FURIOUS with me.

Mommy needs a little vacation.....

It sounds like someone embarrassed someone else.

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

I really can't help it if he's embarrassed.

He's terrified that his friends will find out. One of his pals made fun of the "special ed kids" not long ago not realizing that Mo is one of those kids.

I can't just sit back and watch things get worse for him.

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@boomerang,

Oof.

Sorry, boomer.

Sounds like one of those damned rock-and-a-hard-place parenting moments.

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@boomerang,

What you got to do, then, is let him discover how terrified he is of having his friends find out he has been held back a year in school.

Yeah, yeah. I know I'm kind of heavy handed. Somebody's got to be the bad guy.

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I've talked to him about that, roger. I've told him it's either a tutor or summer school.

He is under so much stress right now at school that he is barely holding it together at home. It's becoming quite difficult for all of us. I understand that he really can't help it but that doesn't always prevent me from losing my patience -- and I'm trying really hard.

I think gaining some confidence in reading and math will really help him. Hence, the tutor.

1 Reply

@boomerang,

boomerang wrote:

I really can't help it if he's embarrassed.

He's terrified that his friends will find out. One of his pals made fun of the "special ed kids"
not long ago not realizing that Mo is one of those kids.

I can't just sit back and watch things get worse for him.

Yeah, my cousin, Tommy, was in a special education school
because he had trouble reading; he felt HORRIBLE about it.
He was in anguish for years, complaining of being put with
badly mentally retarded students; he said: "I 'm not like them!"
He 's in his 40s now; he 's always been a talented mechanic.

The very brightest fellow I 've ever met in Mensa, Marvin,
said that in his youth, he was considered mentally retarded.

This was also true of Albert Einstein, until his uncle counselled him
in math. His German teacher said that he woud never amount to anything.

1 Reply

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