How to hire a tutor?

@boomerang,

boomerang wrote:

I've talked to him about that, roger. I've told him it's either a tutor or summer school.

He is under so much stress right now at school that he is barely holding it together at home. It's becoming quite difficult for all of us. I understand that he really can't help it but that doesn't always prevent me from losing my patience -- and I'm trying really hard.

I think gaining some confidence in reading and math will really help him. Hence, the tutor.

Support him with a lotta LOVE and demonstrated respect.
A lot of times: that COUNTS.

Support his ego by referring to whatever it is that he is GOOD at.

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@OmSigDAVID,

David, you would love Mo. Mo is absolutely fascinated with guns. He's in there right now modifiying his toy rifle -- a gatorade bottle is the scope and this little case thingy is his "fast reloader". I have no idea how he even knows about these things. Maybe he'll grow up to design guns.

Anyway.... he was here when one of the tutors I left a message for called back which set of a new round of anger. However, I think he's coming to terms with the fact that this is going to happen.

I have one other call out to a tutor for an interview and this is where it will get hard for me. I'm trying to ignore the price per hour so that it doesn't become the deciding factor.

One has a Masters degree in Education. She sounds great. She doesn't have a lot of experience with special needs kids. She didn't know what a non-verbal learning disability is.

The other has been a teacher's aid at a tony private school for 15 years. She knew immediately about NVLD. She's tutored many special needs kids and has a packed tutoring schedule -- she's VERY in demand. (And she cost less than the other.) We meet her next week.

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@boomerang,

boomerang wrote:

The other has been a teacher's aid at a tony private school for 15 years. She knew immediately about NVLD. She's tutored many special needs kids and has a packed tutoring schedule -- she's VERY in demand. (And she cost less than the other.) We meet her next week.

So far, so good.

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Quote:

One has a Masters degree in Education. She sounds great. She doesn't have a lot of experience with special needs kids. She didn't know what a non-verbal learning disability is.

The other has been a teacher's aid at a tony private school for 15 years. She knew immediately about NVLD. She's tutored many special needs kids and has a packed tutoring schedule -- she's VERY in demand. (And she cost less than the other.) We meet her next week.

could you condsider both? turn about. Get a plan mapped out with the Aid and have the masters degree person enact it. have the teachers aid come in (say) once a week and check progress.

We went through the same thing (not wanting to read) with my son and things never got better so i have no good advice. Do whatever it takes and keep trying.

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@dadpad,

Tutor number two sounds good to me. But, of course, I don't know.
My niece and I are at a disconnect on reading, and computers (I'm the one that most understands them and you who know me will find that scary), for complex reasons, some of which doesn't have to do with either of us. She can read and has a community college degree so far - just not avid. I don't want to change her into me - silly even if I considered it.

I read for stimulation, information, comfort. I have no clue how to impart that. I suppose I read for the basic 'what happened?'. She is strongly social, interested in human behavior.

I'll be following to see how this goes for Mo.

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Hell yeah grab tutor number 2. Did you ask about her methods?

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@dadpad,

dadpad wrote:

We went through the same thing (not wanting to read) with my son
and things never got better so i have no good advice.

Y not ascertain whatever it is that elicits his
interest -- the greater the passion,
the better -- and provide him with relevant literature ??

Get him MOTIVATED to read.
B4 I entered law school, I went to a psychologist
to develop a zeal for my forthcoming professional studies.
At my request, she hypnotized me to become an impassioned glutton for reading law.

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You might find some people's stories to help inspire Mo here:

http://www.greatschools.org/LD/managing/famous-people-dyslexia-ld-or-ad-hd.gs?content=696

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@dadpad,

I think Mo's problem is more that he CAN'T read (well) then that he won't read. He's starting to try to cover up the fact (or he simply doesn't recognize the fact) that he is falling behind.

Mo's getting to the age where he's aware of being different. It pisses him off. Earlier, just knowing that we love him exactly how he is was enough. It isn't enough anymore.

1 Reply

I might have sold the first tutor short. She really does seem excellent.

We're going to meet both of them, and maybe even some others, in hopes of finding the right fit. That's where Mo comes in. I can judge them based on their qualifications but unless Mo can build a rapport with them this isn't going to work.

1 Reply

@boomerang,

Is holding him back a year an option, boomer? You would have to switch
schools of course so he won't be ridiculed, but my friend's son survived the
first three years in school only with tutors. They finally gave in and held him
back another year, put him in private school and he's one of the best students
in class now.

I had put my daughter in private school during her elementary school years
and in retrospect it was such a good thing. The classes were small, the kids
more attentive to each other and she excelled there (I didn't know if she would).
Now being older and in public school, she can handle rougher peers quite well.

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@CalamityJane,

I so wish I could go back and do the private school route. We thought about it and thought about it and I talked and asked and thought about it and we decided on public school. While I'll never know if the Waldorf school I was looking at would have made a difference I think it would have been a much better fit for Mo.

Right now their doing practice test for the "No Child Left Behind" junk and Mo is falling apart. His teacher is really trying to help but her hands are tied.

I've talked to his teacher about holding him back and switching schools. There are a lot of problems with that idea. Nobody who knows him thinks that would be good for him, for a multitude of reasons. Home schooling would really be the only option.

1 Reply

@boomerang,

Have you talked to Mo about switching schools? He might be more inclined
to it getting a fresh start someplace else. Yes the "no child left behind" method
is practiced here too and it's failing the kids really.
The small private school Jane attended had after hour tutoring by the regular
teachers who knew the weakness of each child. That was a huge criteria for me
to sign her up for that particular school. Luckily, we did not need tutoring but
I didn't know that at the beginning. I really can see a difference between public
and private school, not to put public schools down, real geniuses have emerged from public schools, but when you have a special needs child, it's easy to
fall behind in a public school setting.

1 Reply

@boomerang,

boomerang wrote:

I think Mo's problem is more that he CAN'T read (well) then that he won't read.
He's starting to try to cover up the fact (or he simply doesn't recognize the fact) that he is falling behind.

I 'd take that as a warning sign; I 've heard of illiterate adults who do that to cover their shame of illiteracy.

Any idea Y he can 't read well ?

1 Reply

@CalamityJane,

Yes, we've talked about it. The biggest problem is that Mo doesn't not adapt to changes of any kind in any reasonable way in any amount of time. We know we'd be looking at a serious tail spin which would cause him to fall further behind. Even tiny little changes can upset him for weeks and weeks.

1 Reply

@OmSigDAVID,

Yes, he can't read because he has a non-verbal learning disability. His brain does not completely process information that is given to him non-verbally.

For example, if I read him a story he can tell you what it was about and include lots of tiny details. If he reads the same story, or even a much easier story, he won't remember anything about it.

1 Reply

@boomerang,

aawww, it breaks ones heart, doesn't it? I hope he likes his tutors, that's a big
factor in teaching him. Good luck, boomer!

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@boomerang,

boomerang wrote:

Yes, he can't read because he has a non-verbal learning disability. His brain does not completely process information that is given to him non-verbally.

For example, if I read him a story he can tell you what it was about and include lots of tiny details. If he reads the same story, or even a much easier story, he won't remember anything about it.

How about an illustrated story ?
Words with pictures?

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Picture books are better but they won't get him through life.

It is heartbreaking but its okay, I'm convinced that he'll be fine. Its just a bigger struggle than if he were "normal".

I really think he suffered some minor brain damage from oxygen deprivation when he was 5 weeks old -- he was hospitalized for a week because his blood oxygen levels were so low. His other parents said he had a cold and didn't seek treatment until I ..... ummmm...... insisted.

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Look, they have nonverbal LD coaches
http://www.nldline.com/

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