panzade
 
  1  
Reply Tue 1 Dec, 2009 03:07 pm
@Seed,
Seed. Good to see you posting.

I went through a similar experience with my ex.
I moved into her house and helped with her mortgage.

Things were fine while I was employed and kicking in 2k a month. When I got laid off my income dropped and I started working around the house(remodeling) and doing laundry and cooking.
I thought it went both ways but the reality is that a lot of women pay lip service to gender equality but when they start having to be the bread-winner they freak out.
Finally one night she let a hurtful thing slip out: "You're lucky I let you live here"

I would never say something like that to my mate. That's when I knew I had to go.
The rent or mortgage payer has the power. That's the bottom line.
It's almost impossible to build a future with a girlfriend... it's difficult enough with a wife.
0 Replies
 
Seed
 
  1  
Reply Fri 4 Dec, 2009 09:19 pm
After reading through these it has made me go over things in my head. I think a lot of problems steam from me in all honesty.

I have spent years alone. Even when me and Kristen were dating a lot of the time saw me alone. When in Iraq, I spent most of my time alone when not on missions. Sitting in my bunk messing around on the internet. I am home now and I spend my time mostly in my room watching tv or messing around on the tv. It's like I have forgotten to interact with people or something.

How do you learn to interact again. I sounds stupid, especially coming from me, someone who loves hanging out with people and generally being around with people.
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Sat 5 Dec, 2009 12:11 am
@Seed,
YOu get back in the saddle again, and do the best you can. IF you fall off again you dust yourself off again.... and do it again. Practice makes perfect.

You need to get a grasp on how doing what you have done for the last few years has changed you, in some ways for the better and some ways not. The readjustment to civilian life is way more difficult and filled with land minds then you even now realize.

There are a lot of government and NGO organizations who's mission it to assist you and other vets, but you will need to make a plan and then seek out help as needed.

It is great to see you on a2k asking questions, I bet that those who know you better and say that you can do this are correct.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  2  
Reply Sat 5 Dec, 2009 12:24 am
@Seed,
Seed, we're interacting. But never mind that, move on out, if only in a light jog. Do that again and again, slowing when people are there to talk with.
Seed
 
  2  
Reply Sat 5 Dec, 2009 10:02 pm
@ossobuco,
ossobuco wrote:

Seed, we're interacting. But never mind that, move on out, if only in a light jog. Do that again and again, slowing when people are there to talk with.


haha yea we are totally interacting. but it is still me alone in my computer room. alone.
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 5 Dec, 2009 10:06 pm
@Seed,
Do you have a neighborhood VFW or an American Legion?
Seed
 
  1  
Reply Sat 5 Dec, 2009 10:14 pm
@tsarstepan,
Yea I do and I should probably go hang out with them. But I just dont know if I could or not. Just seems like its a part of my life I wanna put behind me.
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 5 Dec, 2009 10:32 pm
@Seed,
That's fair. I subscribed the American Legion myself, never went to the local chapter as the conservative nature of the magazine scared me personally. Though I don't believe the local chapter would reflect that strain of conservatism.

Have you thought of volunteering to a neighborhood charity or organization? My doctor suggested it to me but I haven't followed up on it myself.

Still, if you were a natural socializer, (I'm not) then perhaps volunteering could be your social muse, non?
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  2  
Reply Sat 5 Dec, 2009 10:40 pm
@Seed,
something like this maybe:
http://iava.org/

You can try to ignore those years of your life, but it will never work. Look at the last few months.....how is it going so far??
0 Replies
 
 

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