dlowan
 
  2  
Reply Sat 28 Nov, 2009 01:51 am
@Seed,
I have no idea who is "right" Seed.

Personally, I'd have done anything to try and persuade you NOT to [email protected]!

But....it clearly wasn't working, and that's all anyone needs to know, really, I think.

0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Nov, 2009 01:54 am
@Seed,
that is raw, and rare....I hope you pursued your legal options before paying up.

No money, can't face another hitch, no easily transferable skills, and a recession job market.....Yikes.

Not only was the blow up of your relationship almost a sure thing, but you have bigger problems to deal with.

are you sure you cant do another 3?? If you get back in withing 6 months you keep your old rank I think. Get yourself prepared for your civilian life, and have legal safeguards in place to that the ex can't F*** you over again.
Seed
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Nov, 2009 03:31 pm
@hawkeye10,
I sorry. But I can not take another tour. I am not a strong enough man. I have been through enough kililng and almost dying for one life time.
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Nov, 2009 03:35 pm
@Seed,
Why should you? You did your fair share for the father land, now let someone else take over. Don't listen to hawkeye!

0 Replies
 
tsarstepan
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Nov, 2009 03:36 pm
@Seed,
If you want to move to New York City, we can both be unemployed vets together. Misery loves company!

I'm halfheartedly thinking about reenlisting though I doubt the army will have me back. http://i47.tinypic.com/292r8cp.jpg
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Nov, 2009 03:40 pm
@Seed,
Quote:
I sorry. But I can not take another tour. I am not a strong enough man. I have been through enough kililng and almost dying for one life time


there is certainly nothing wrong with that. You need a plan then, I hope that this works out for you.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Nov, 2009 05:02 pm
Seed - I don't think you were rash, somehow all wrong in who you are. You're just developing who you are, and pretty well from my view. This relationship wouldn't have worked, again, my view only.

I'm not saying "good riddance" and don't mean to sound like girlfriend was completely horrible, and see CJane's take on the moving into her place, her space.
Still, you are very different people and to make it together, sails of one or the other would have to be sharply trimmed, most likely yours. I consider your leaving self defense.

Fiscal irresponsibility? Again, my view: a lot of fiscally responsible people haven't a clue who they are except for being fiscally responsible go getters.
Go to college, get in some road trips and everyday observing.
0 Replies
 
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Nov, 2009 05:02 pm
Tsar, egad!
0 Replies
 
dlowan
 
  6  
Reply Sat 28 Nov, 2009 06:29 pm
@Seed,
Seed wrote:

I sorry. But I can not take another tour. I am not a strong enough man. I have been through enough kililng and almost dying for one life time.


I don't think not wanting to go back says ANYTHING about how strong a person you are, except that you are courageous enough to say why you don't want to.

msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Nov, 2009 06:33 pm
@dlowan,
What the bunny said. Wholeheartedly agree.
And with you, Seed.
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Nov, 2009 06:36 pm
@hawkeye10,
hawkeye, there are some things in this life which are far more important than money.
Seed will get there, you'll see. He's 27 years old.
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Nov, 2009 06:39 pm
Perfectly worded, Ms. Bunny. I could not agree more.

Welcome back, Seed...to the States and to A2K. You were missed.
0 Replies
 
Ionus
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Nov, 2009 06:52 pm
@Seed,
As a fellow soldier, there is nothing wrong with having had enough. It means nothing except you have done your best for as long as you could and that remains infinitely more than most who stayed home. Only cowards would criticise your courage.

You need support from her, not criticism. If it were me, I would be worried that the first major life test and the relationship was straining. There would be worse ahead. As for relationships, it may not seem so now, but THE NEXT RELATIONSHIP IS ALWAYS BETTER THAN THE LAST.

Good Luck to you.
0 Replies
 
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Nov, 2009 07:04 pm
@msolga,
Quote:
hawkeye, there are some things in this life which are far more important than money.
Seed will get there, you'll see. He's 27 years old


There are a lot of things more important than money, but we all need some. Seed lives in America, where most of the decent paying low education requirement jobs have been exported, where jobs of any kind are difficult to find and will be so for a long time, were the safety net has been shredded, where getting medical care is difficult if you don't have money.....this is not Australia or where ever it is that you know.

And Seed is 27, and he has no plan, and he just came out of the Army with nothing except I hope at least the GI Bill. And he has a kid. And he has to deal with all of the emotional and spiritual scars that this war has inflicted upon him and the nation that he served is not going to be very much help with that burden.

THis is gut check time...sink or swim time. Out of the frying pan into the fire. In Iraq he had is buddies to try to keep him safe, keep him going. Now he has to do it all by himself.

Sorry Seed, dont mean to talk like you are not here....I dont know you, have no idea of what you can do. I do however know that you have a lot of work to do, and no time to waste.
0 Replies
 
ehBeth
 
  5  
Reply Sat 28 Nov, 2009 07:27 pm
@Seed,
Seed wrote:
But do you think I was rash with my decision? Or that I might have made a wrong one.


Mr. G, you have made so many decisions in the last few years that I suspect you've made one wrong decision. In the same amount of time, I've made several (mebbe many many) wrong decisions. I've been lucky though. I haven't been faced with the kinds of literally life and death decisions you have.

You were a kind, thoughtful poster from the beginning. A few impulsive moments along the way, a few regrets, but a fine man all the way through.

If you've made a relationship misstep on your return home, you didn't do it alone. The other person in the relationship owed you the honesty of telling you that she didn't think it was a good idea for you to move in with her. Mistakes on both sides there.

Go easy on yourself. You're a good person.

Spend time with friends and family who know you and appreciate you. Take a little time to sort out work and school options. See your baby girl.

First and foremost, take care of yourself.
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Nov, 2009 07:30 pm
@ehBeth,
Yes
hawkeye10
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Nov, 2009 07:51 pm
@msolga,
Quote:
Yes


No, the glide path destination is to the streets homeless. Seed needs to work to avoid that future. You have zero idea of what being in combat does to a person, of how traumatic moving back into the civilian world is even under the best of circumstances. Seed does not have a very good tool selection in his toolbox, he needs to do the most he can with what he has.
ehBeth
 
  3  
Reply Sat 28 Nov, 2009 07:59 pm
@hawkeye10,
hawkeye10 wrote:
You have zero idea of what being in combat does to a person


You do not know what msO or I know, or understand.

You have one set of experiences and a resulting set of beliefs. My belief set and system is generally quite different from yours (as you have presented it on A2K).

My experience tells me that there is not one right route for everyone to take when returning home. Life and people don't work like that.
0 Replies
 
msolga
 
  1  
Reply Sat 28 Nov, 2009 08:06 pm
@hawkeye10,
Re: msolga (Post 3829440)

Quote:
Yes


Quote:
No, the glide path destination is to the streets homeless. Seed needs to work to avoid that future. You have zero idea of what being in combat does to a person, of how traumatic moving back into the civilian world is even under the best of circumstances. Seed does not have a very good tool selection in his toolbox, he needs to do the most he can with what he has


Vietnam veterans, for starters. Combat didn't exactly do wonders for many of their lives.

Homeless on the streets? Surprised Confused Why are you assuming the very worst case scenario is on the cards? There's absolutely no reason to believe that it is.
0 Replies
 
Seed
 
  1  
Reply Tue 1 Dec, 2009 01:44 pm
I never said that I didnt have a lot of things to work out. Or that I did everything right. Nor did I place the blame solely on her. I know that I did things wrongs.
 

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