Neighbor's party etiquette

Hmm...are your daughter and the neighbor boy friends? If so, it is insensitive. If they are not friends but just share mutual friends, I am not sure. On the surface, it does sound insensitive to me.

Is this a coed party? Most second grade boys prefer not to socialize with any girls even if a girl lives next door.

dizigns- Welcome to A2K!

The neighbor may be insensitive, but she DOES have the right to invite whomever she wants.

Has your daughter said anything to you about the party? Sounds to me that YOU are the one who is hurt. Are you making more of the situation than your daughter?

Often a child will reflect the attitudes of the parent. If YOU make a big deal of it, it will be far more traumatic than if you don't make too much of it. One of the things that children need to learn to deal with is rejection and disappointment.

How has YOUR relationship been with the neighbor in the past?

Boy, you are quick to respond,
My daughter spent one and a half watching friends that she
normally plays with both at school and at houses, (share play-time,
alternate dates so that parents get a breather), and cried because
she did not understand why she was not invited. This is not a boyfriend
girlfriend situation, these kids have grown up together. She considers
Adam to be her best friend, although that has now changed.
I have since done some investigating and found that the party started
at the neighbors and then moved to a "church", this is a very different
situation, and I now know that some parents were unaware that a
"church situation" was involved.
Needless to say this has strained the neighbor to neighbor relationship
and I have been very careful to encourage and support my daughter.

PSSSSS.......I forgot to thank all for responding, everybody reading
have a great weekend, we will be busy putting flowers
to rest, I thought perhaps, it was good for all to put
hands to work instead of heads,,,,,sometimes dwelling
is not a good thing, but we sure are seeing lots of
butterflies, and smiles, hugs, kisses.
Smiles to all.
Di

dizigns- What do you mean by a "church situation"? Are you and the other parents of a different faith?

Why not just throw a quick party together for your daughter and HER friends? Rather then focusing on her being left out, give her a sense of inclusion by helping her host her own party. It could be an opportunity for a lesson by letting her make the decision about whether or not to invite the neighbor kids.

The church they go to is very solicitous in some cases, We are
a mixedk family of Catholic, Judaism, Lutheran, and a little
Episco.Reform for spice. I don['t have a problem with the religous
aspect, "but practice what you preach".
We are going to allow our daughter to have a party, but I want
her to at least consider asking the boy next door to attend.????????

That would be the best idea -- take the high road. I think it is always right to take the high road, especially with kids. However it is okay to make it a really special party -- not to outdo the neighbor but to show your personality and sense of fun comes through. You don't need to do that by overspending, but by planning. There is a set of books I used when my kids were young called the Penny Whistle Party Books. They had wonderful ideas and also offered good advice for just these kinds of problems. I've given you two links... Amazon has these books new, but you can get them from abebooks for much lower prices. Good luck and have fun with your daughter! In the end that's what it is all about.


Amazon link

check abebooks for good used copies