I feel your pain.

Forums: Empathy, Compassion, Cranky
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well no, you don't. I was just listening to some talking head interviewing the mother of the child who's body was found yesterday. In so many words there was the comment (not a quote) "I feel your pain. " I wanted to puke. What is it about our society that we so eagerly express bullshit empathy, it most often comes across as patronizing and ultimately demeaning. I see this happening throughout western society and even here on a2k. Do do we think we are fooling? ourselves I guess.
I'm totally positive about compassion but I totally abhor social gestures of politely framed trivialized "I feel your pain."
Rant is over, time to return to your morning coffee and, btw, have a nice day.

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@dyslexia,

I feel your irritation....

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@DrewDad,

man. I just cannot fathom the grief this florida mom must feel with the violent death of her 6 yr old daughter. reminds me of the time a few years ago when a Denver mom who lost a child in a similar manner and the "news" person interviewed her asking "how did you feel when you were told that the body was found?" followed by "we all pray for you in this hour of your need."

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@dyslexia,

'Round about now I switch to tea, dys, and I can't believe you would be so insensitive as to forget that.

(Agree with the basic premise. Can't stand those "and how does that make you feel" microphone-in-the-face reporters either.)

edit: posted while you were posting -- seems we agree here too.

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youareofcourseright, dys. It happens all too frequently.

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@dyslexia,

Quote:

What is it about our society that we so eagerly express bullshit empathy, it most often comes across as patronizing and ultimately demeaning. I see this happening throughout western society and even here on a2k. Do do we think we are fooling? ourselves I guess.

Because it's all for show. There are people out there who truly care, but you're not going to find them on the more mainstream airwaves. This is why I stopped listening to talk radio, and NPR-- it's phony crap. No TV either, it's an energy drain.

I wonder why a mother would put herself in front of the media so soon after the discovery of the child's death. Maybe she wants the attention? Maybe she's so dazed she's not all there. Nonetheless, you'd think she's have some decent counsel, such as a spouse, or relatives, to guide her.

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I think the interviewing is itself crude and rude, but an expression of sympathy (compassion, empathy) may be real. I've known two tv anchors and they are not silly people. True, I don't know and rather doubt that either of them interviewed in such a situation.
Re a2k, a lot of us do care about others here and the words aren't hollow. Maybe for some, but I won't judge that.

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Why do they( the media) even have to comment on THEIR feelings anyway?
A simple "Thank you for speaking with us at this most difficult time." would do.

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@sullyfish6,

Exactly right.
Joe(back to you in the studio)Nation

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my intent with this thread has nothing to do with media people, nothing. I'm sorry I used that example. My true intent was directed at society in general where it's become (maybe always been) considered good and positive to state openly and publicly some sort of sorry/empathy about specific others in such a trite manner (I feel your pain) when it's almost always on the same reality level as "hi; how are you?" as if you really wanted an answer. For me the problem with all this is that the sincere concern/empathy is going to be buried under all the dreck of "polite" and fake empathy.

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@dyslexia,

How are you today? I'm fine thanks.

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Hah! That reminds me when I first came to the United States and everyone
asks you "How are you?" and boy are they irritated when you do state how
you're feeling. It took me a while to realize that no one was interested in how
I am. It's an empty phrase like so many others....

1 Reply

@CalamityJane,

If you really want to annoy someone, say "Hi, I'm fine."

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@George,

I find I can annoy almost everyone just by saying "hi" but that's just me.

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@George,

Haha, I'll try that, George.
Actually, now my standard phrase back is "perfect, and how are you doing?"

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@dyslexia,

Quote:

I find I can annoy almost everyone just by saying "hi" but that's just me.

You've plenty of company.
Trust me.

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@CalamityJane,

Want to have some fun? Next time somebody says "Have a nice day" act like you've never heard it before and pretend that you sincerely appreciate their best wishes. They'll be baffled for hours.

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@roger,

Yes, that's another empty phrase, roger, but I'll try your suggestion Very Happy

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@CalamityJane,

Sglass has come up with a wonderful gimmick she uses whenever in a car and somebody honks their horn at her because she's moving too slow for their taste or whatever. She'll get this happy grin on her face and wave at them frantically as though having just located some long-lost friend.

Confuses the hell out of people who're all primed for road rage.

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dyslexia wrote:

my intent with this thread has nothing to do with media people, nothing. I'm sorry I used that example. My true intent was directed at society in general

That clinches it. This entire thread is the result of a generalized anger at "society in general." Time for Diane to do an intervention!

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I feel your pain.

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