15
   

I feel your pain.

 
 
Reply Fri 23 Oct, 2009 09:26 am
well no, you don't. I was just listening to some talking head interviewing the mother of the child who's body was found yesterday. In so many words there was the comment (not a quote) "I feel your pain. " I wanted to puke. What is it about our society that we so eagerly express bullshit empathy, it most often comes across as patronizing and ultimately demeaning. I see this happening throughout western society and even here on a2k. Do do we think we are fooling? ourselves I guess.
I'm totally positive about compassion but I totally abhor social gestures of politely framed trivialized "I feel your pain."
Rant is over, time to return to your morning coffee and, btw, have a nice day.
  • Topic Stats
  • Top Replies
  • Link to this Topic
Type: Discussion • Score: 15 • Views: 2,806 • Replies: 33
No top replies

 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Oct, 2009 09:27 am
@dyslexia,
I feel your irritation....
dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Oct, 2009 09:37 am
@DrewDad,
man. I just cannot fathom the grief this florida mom must feel with the violent death of her 6 yr old daughter. reminds me of the time a few years ago when a Denver mom who lost a child in a similar manner and the "news" person interviewed her asking "how did you feel when you were told that the body was found?" followed by "we all pray for you in this hour of your need."
0 Replies
 
Tai Chi
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Oct, 2009 09:40 am
@dyslexia,
'Round about now I switch to tea, dys, and I can't believe you would be so insensitive as to forget that.

(Agree with the basic premise. Can't stand those "and how does that make you feel" microphone-in-the-face reporters either.)

edit: posted while you were posting -- seems we agree here too.
0 Replies
 
edgarblythe
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Oct, 2009 11:40 am
youareofcourseright, dys. It happens all too frequently.
0 Replies
 
Gala
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Oct, 2009 11:42 am
@dyslexia,
Quote:
What is it about our society that we so eagerly express bullshit empathy, it most often comes across as patronizing and ultimately demeaning. I see this happening throughout western society and even here on a2k. Do do we think we are fooling? ourselves I guess.

Because it's all for show. There are people out there who truly care, but you're not going to find them on the more mainstream airwaves. This is why I stopped listening to talk radio, and NPR-- it's phony crap. No TV either, it's an energy drain.

I wonder why a mother would put herself in front of the media so soon after the discovery of the child's death. Maybe she wants the attention? Maybe she's so dazed she's not all there. Nonetheless, you'd think she's have some decent counsel, such as a spouse, or relatives, to guide her.
ossobuco
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Oct, 2009 11:54 am
I think the interviewing is itself crude and rude, but an expression of sympathy (compassion, empathy) may be real. I've known two tv anchors and they are not silly people. True, I don't know and rather doubt that either of them interviewed in such a situation.
Re a2k, a lot of us do care about others here and the words aren't hollow. Maybe for some, but I won't judge that.
0 Replies
 
sullyfish6
 
  2  
Reply Fri 23 Oct, 2009 12:18 pm
Why do they( the media) even have to comment on THEIR feelings anyway?
A simple "Thank you for speaking with us at this most difficult time." would do.

Joe Nation
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Oct, 2009 12:22 pm
@sullyfish6,
Exactly right.
Joe(back to you in the studio)Nation
0 Replies
 
dyslexia
 
  2  
Reply Fri 23 Oct, 2009 01:09 pm
my intent with this thread has nothing to do with media people, nothing. I'm sorry I used that example. My true intent was directed at society in general where it's become (maybe always been) considered good and positive to state openly and publicly some sort of sorry/empathy about specific others in such a trite manner (I feel your pain) when it's almost always on the same reality level as "hi; how are you?" as if you really wanted an answer. For me the problem with all this is that the sincere concern/empathy is going to be buried under all the dreck of "polite" and fake empathy.
mm25075
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Oct, 2009 02:03 pm
@dyslexia,
How are you today? I'm fine thanks.
0 Replies
 
CalamityJane
 
  2  
Reply Fri 23 Oct, 2009 02:48 pm
Hah! That reminds me when I first came to the United States and everyone
asks you "How are you?" and boy are they irritated when you do state how
you're feeling. It took me a while to realize that no one was interested in how
I am. It's an empty phrase like so many others....
George
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Oct, 2009 02:51 pm
@CalamityJane,
If you really want to annoy someone, say "Hi, I'm fine."
dyslexia
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Oct, 2009 02:53 pm
@George,
I find I can annoy almost everyone just by saying "hi" but that's just me.
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Oct, 2009 02:54 pm
@George,
Haha, I'll try that, George.
Actually, now my standard phrase back is "perfect, and how are you doing?"
George
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Oct, 2009 02:57 pm
@dyslexia,
Quote:
I find I can annoy almost everyone just by saying "hi" but that's just me.

You've plenty of company.
Trust me.
0 Replies
 
roger
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Oct, 2009 03:00 pm
@CalamityJane,
Want to have some fun? Next time somebody says "Have a nice day" act like you've never heard it before and pretend that you sincerely appreciate their best wishes. They'll be baffled for hours.
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Oct, 2009 03:08 pm
@roger,
Yes, that's another empty phrase, roger, but I'll try your suggestion Very Happy
Merry Andrew
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Oct, 2009 03:14 pm
@CalamityJane,
Sglass has come up with a wonderful gimmick she uses whenever in a car and somebody honks their horn at her because she's moving too slow for their taste or whatever. She'll get this happy grin on her face and wave at them frantically as though having just located some long-lost friend.

Confuses the hell out of people who're all primed for road rage.
wandeljw
 
  1  
Reply Fri 23 Oct, 2009 03:20 pm
dyslexia wrote:
my intent with this thread has nothing to do with media people, nothing. I'm sorry I used that example. My true intent was directed at society in general


That clinches it. This entire thread is the result of a generalized anger at "society in general." Time for Diane to do an intervention!
0 Replies
 
 

Related Topics

On the edge and toppling off.... - Discussion by Izzie
Art and Empathy - Question by kissthemoon23
Killing someone indirectly - Question by seamos
Oppression: Why give a damn. - Discussion by crayon851
Do you have empathy? - Question by Procrustes
Empathy leads to hedonism - Discussion by Ubuntu
"Impathy" - Discussion by dyslexia
 
  1. Forums
  2. » I feel your pain.
Copyright © 2021 MadLab, LLC :: Terms of Service :: Privacy Policy :: Page generated in 0.03 seconds on 04/14/2021 at 10:44:19