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Tue 20 Oct, 2009 05:43 am
One of the most important lessons that I have learned as an adult, is the concept of fairness. It took me a long time to realize it (kids are always saying "it's NOT fair" when things don't go their way). Well, life is not fair, and this was brought home to me yesterday.
Last winter, Mr. P and I bought two identical cars, except for the colors. I have loved mine from the beginning, while he has been complaining of a "vibration" in the engine of his car, which stopped after the car went about ten miles. As a passenger, I could not discern anything, although I could feel a vibration when I put my hand on the steering wheel.
He once brought it in to the dealer, and once they found two tires that were a bit out of whack, and changed them. This diminished the vibration, but did not stop it completely.
Anyhow, last week we were driving home, and all of a sudden the car is making loud noises. At first I thought that it was a blowout (clunk, clunk, clunk), but we checked the tires, and they were fine. We also checked under the hood, to see if any belts were flying about, but that was o.k. Mr. P. also said that the car lost power.
He went on the highway in the right lane, drove slowly, and we made it home. The strange thing is that he said that everything evened out about three miles before we got home. (I fell asleep, so I didn't know).
Anyhow, we had the dealer tow the car. They checked it for a week. They drove it for over 75 miles. Zippo, nada, nothing. The car worked perfectly.
I took a stand and said that if there was something intermittent in the car, I would not step foot in in, and didn't want my husband to do so either. The last incident indicated to me that if there truly was something basically wrong with the car, the problem was escalating. Since the dealer found nothing, there was nothing to fix.
Sooo................the point of this little diatribe. Yesterday, we went back to the dealer, and bought the exact same car, but in the latest model. They worked with us, and attempted to give us a good deal, but it cost us.
In the meantime, I thought that Mr. P. was going to have a coronary. He was so upset about the basic unfairness of it. After all, he had bought a new car that was possibly defective, and was helpless to do anything positive about it. The dealer found nothing wrong, so the "lemon law" did not apply to us.
The choice was to keep the original car, and risk something terrible happening when we least expect it, or get another one.
I was much more philosophical about it. Emotionally, I knew that the situation was a lose-lose, but intellectually I understood that we needed a reliable car.
So, at one point he was bitching and moaning about the unfairness of the situation. I looked him straight in the eye and said, "Life is NOT fair. Get over it".
I bet that many of you have had situations, where something was unfair, yet you were obliged to "suck it in" and deal with it. Please share.
I don't think your "life's not fair" adage applies here.
I'd be PO'ed too, if I bought a new car that never ran right.
Did you go on line to see what the recalls were for that model? Often, the car dealer will not tell you about these glitches certain cars have. Do a search on the make and model and see what turns up.
I don't blame him for being mad and I'd get to the bottom of this -
My wife quit her job, because she was being harrassed by some people there. She searched long and hard for something new to work at, but nobody hired her. She has now returned to the job she quit. Yesterday, she asked a coworker why she drove so far for a job like this. The coworker is young, bright and able. She said she applied every place she could find but nobody except this one took her in. She has a child to support. So, life is not fair. But, most of us make do, one way or another.
@Phoenix32890,
I read your story and think-- what a pain in the butt, all the energy and frsutration spent over something you paid good money for. Definitely unfair. On the other hand, my fairness meter tells me that if you can buy two new cars, then another regardless of getting burned, then your life can't be that bad.
@Phoenix32890,
Yeah, I figured you saw it that way. It sounds like Mr. P has a harder time letting it go.
@Gala,
I don't think whether she can afford two brand new cars has anything to do with whether life is fair. Doesn't matter what your economic situation is - unfairness is handed out indiscriminately.
I had a good cooking gig lined up for next year - 30 days in, 30 days out, but the VP decided to go with two cooks she'd used before, convincing the President (who offered me one of the positions) to give them a try.
Fair? Unfair? I don't know. Other work will show up, I'm sure, or maybe it's time for me to change my career. What I do appreciate, however, is that at least I'm not sitting in the dirt in Biafra eating powdered milk.
@Mame,
Quote:What I do appreciate, however, is that at least I'm not sitting in the dirt in Biafra eating powdered milk.
That's the point, after the assessment of fair or unfair, there's gratitude for what you do have.
@Phoenix32890,
Phoenix32890 wrote:Yesterday, we went back to the dealer, and bought the exact same car, but in the latest model. They worked with us, and attempted to give us a good deal, but it cost us.
So... they failed to fix your original problem, but you gave them your business anyway?
I don't think wild horses could have made me buy the same brand, let alone use the same dealer.
@Phoenix32890,
you trust your car dealer way too much...
@Mame,
Mame wrote:
What I do appreciate, however, is that at least I'm not sitting in the dirt in Biafra eating powdered milk.
Or sitting in powdered milk in Biafra eating dirt.
I do agree with you about the work though. It comes, it goes. Life happens. That's because all of us here do know life isn't fair.
It isn't unfair either, it just is.
I don't always have a plan B for everything, but I can usually think one up pretty quick if necessary.
A lot of the plan B's and C's I've ended up with were better than my original plan A.
Then again, some weren't.
But, I'm still here.
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