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Sat 23 Nov, 2002 04:35 pm
Just received some Texisms from an ol' pard and thought to share 'em with y'all. Hints are parenthetically appended for the tenderfooted. Mebbe y'all 'd like to add a few a yer own. Hep yerself ... you don't really have to have cowdung on your boot heels to wade in.
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TEXAS STUFF:
The engine's runnin' but ain't nobody driving. (Not overly-intelligent.)
As welcome as a skunk at a lawn party. (self-explanatory)
Big hat, no cattle. (All talk and no action)
We've howdy'd but we ain't shook yet. (Made a brief acquaintance, but not been formally introduced.)
He thinks the sun come up just to hear him crow. (He has a pretty high
opinion of himself.)
It's so dry the trees are bribin' the dogs. (We really could use a little
rain around here.)
Just because a chicken has wings doesn't mean it can fly. (Appearances can be deceptive.)
This ain't my first rodeo. (I've done been around awhile.)
He looks like the dog's been keepin' him under the porch. (Not the most
handsome of men.)
They ate supper before they said grace. (Living in sin.)
Time to paint your butt and run with the antelope. (Stop arguing and do as you're told.)
As full of wind as a corn-eating horse. (Rather prone to boasting.)
You can put your boots in the oven, but that don't make 'em biscuits. (You
can say whatever you want about something, but that doesn t change what it really is).
teehee - got more?
Do you guys say "awning over the toy-shop' for a man with a paunch?
I'm trying to recall the story of the Texan on trial for murder. He used the famous Texas "He needed killin'" defense. The entire dialog between the defendant consisted of "He needed killin'" and "You got that right".
This relates to why they are more likely to hang a horse thief than a murderer. You may have known a few men that needed killing, but you never saw a horse that needed stealing.
If all her brains were dynamite, she couldn't blow her nose.
He couldn't find his butt with a flashlight in each hand.
If brains were leather, he couldn't saddle a flea.
He couldn't pour rain out of a boot with a hole in the toe and directions on the heel.
Sharp as a mashed potato.
the gates down, lights aflashing but there's no train acoming
Stumble It!
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