So Madonna can't steal; oops I mean adopt another Malawi child

I thought is was passe for celebrities to adopt small brown children.

I'm surprised some who've done so aren't trying to give them back. I mean, that was so last Wednesday.

It annoys me that a celebrity can go in and just "buy" a child rather than go through the normal legal route. A very good friend of mine adopted a child from China - it took her about 3 years. A celebrity will go in on Monday and come home on Friday with a child. It also bothers me to think that sometimes these children have family, but these celebrities take them from whatever family they know.

I've heard the argument that the child will live in the lap of luxury rather than in such poor surroundings. Does that then mean that any one with more money than you, should be able to buy your child because they can give your child a more expensive lifestyle?

in a related way, I got really pissed off when micky mantle got pushed forward on the liver transplant list. who's fault was it he drank his liver dead?

I haven't done any reading on Madonna's newest adoption quest, so I'm not informed. But it seems that she did go through the legal route and was turned down. Isn't that what happened?

Is your friend Chinese? Is that why she wanted a child from China? Because if she lives in America, there are books with pages upon pages of lists of children waiting to be adopted- many of them healthy, although not white and newborn - still babies though- and the whole process from adoption classes through homestudy and court can take less than a year.
I always wonder why people put themselves through the expense and waiting of an international adoption when there are so many children waiting to be adopted in their own country...a domestic adoption, especially through Department of Human Services is much cheaper and faster than any international adoption, which to me, actually smacks more of buying a baby - you can't do an international adoption for less than $20,000. Sometimes you can do a domestic adoption for a fee based on a sliding scale based on your income for the homestudy and 0 for court costs. I know. I did a domestic Department of Human Services adoption (and have the most wonderful sixteen year old daughter in the world to show for it). They are begging for people to adopt these kids.


Unless the family doesn't want them. I mean, these people can't just walk into a happy intact family and say, 'I'll take that one.' There has to be something going on that even makes the situation possible. And if a family is willing to sell a child to the highest bidder - jesus - that kid is probably better off just about anywhere but in that family, I'd think.

No one can buy someone's child unless that person puts that child up for sale. And if I ran into someone on the street who was trying to sell his or her child - I'd be tempted to buy the child too, maybe not even because I wanted a child, but because I'd want to remove the child from that horrible situation.

I don't have any problem with these celebrities adopting these kids if they truly love them and aren't using them as status symbols of some sort. And as far as I'm concerned, the faster the better. Why drag it out and have the kid live in a bad situation for even a day longer than necessary?
I have no problem with anyone removing a child from a life of poverty and disease and giving him or her a nice home and I don't particularly care what that person does for a living, as long as they're willing and able to provide love and appropriate support.

I'd rather see them adopt kids who need to be adopted than have more of their own to tell you the truth. The world has more people already than it can healthily sustain.

Life is not fair, and the wealthy, the celebrated, will be enabled to receive more privilege. That's the way that the world works, whether we like it or not.

Not disagreeing with your post in general, in particular I'd like to see more domestic adoptions, but unfortunately this isn't true:



Just read a rather horrifying story in the NYT about Chinese boys being stolen from their families and then sold to families with no boys:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/04/05/world/asia/05kidnap.html

excerpt:

I always wondered why an American would adopt out of the country too...someone told me the opposite, that it's a lot easier to adopt an international child than an American. If it's the opposite, than that's just obnoxious.

Unfortunately yes it does, but it still annoys me

Yes - it was easier and cheaper adopting from China - she went through it all and researched it. She worked and met with people who had been through the whole adoption process both domestically and international and decided the safest, quickest and most affordable was the route she took. She went through an agency she felt was most reputable so as not to get a stolen baby.

I recently heard about those stolen babies as well. Horrible.

It is strange, but it is. And there have been circumstances where after a child gets adopted one of parents changes their mind and tries to get the baby back.

I know some one else that was trying to adopt a family of children - I think there was 3 of them. Their parents both were killed and my friend and her husband both childless offerred to adopt as they did not have any close relatives. There was so much that they had to go through before adopting (and this older children), classes, expenses, time to ensure they were proper parents, etc. - they ended up going through the whole process it was just too much of a drain.

Well, everyone who wants to be an adoptive parent in the United States has to go through the homestudy process, regardless of the child is domestic or international.

I have gone through the homestudy process and adopted domestically as I
do agree with Aiden here, we have far to many children available in the United States, there is no need to run to other countries.

Yes, at first I thought the entire homestudy process and additional classes
is too much, but the more I got into it the more it made sense, especially the
classes were most helpful. For us, the process - including having the child
in the home - took exactly one year!

Was it an older child? My friend who adopted in China, adopted a baby. From my understanding there is a difference between adopting an older child and a baby.

The other individuals were only interested in adopting this particular family. It was just too much for them to handle - the expense and all the scrutinizing.

In China you cannot adopt an infant, the "baby" is mostly 2 years old by the
time the adoption is finalized. I've had several friends go through the Chinese
route (who could have gotten an infant here, by the way).

My daughter was 3 years old, as I specifically wanted an "older child" and not an infant. I was offered a 5 day old baby boy though, but I felt that infants
have a better chance of being adopted than a 3 year old one.

Your information must be incorrect - my friend's child was 18 months that she adopted from China last year. And being an "older" parent she wasn't allowed to adopt a newborn - she had to adopt an older baby. Unless rules have changed since last year.

Hmmmm......

It's not like she flew into some random contry and snached a baby.



The child had been living in an orphanage because her family couldn't afford to raise her. She was not living with family. She was not an infant.

Now the father, who had disappeared during the mother's pregnancy shows up and reclaims the child and the adoption went south, like so many adoptions do -- no matter where they take place.

It doesn't sound like she was trying to use her celebrity to curcumvent anything. Madonna has a long history with Malawi so it makes sense that she would consider adopting from there.

I won't judge her harshly just because she's rich and famous.

Well damn her any way - I don't like her!@@@@!

I did read a bit more after the fact -

But I still don't like her!

I'm not really trying to defend her but I don't think she should be accused of baby stealing.

Adoption is a complicated issue and everyone comes to it from a different place. I do know that Madonna's mother died when she was very young so maybe that has something to do with her decision to adopt.

Other than that, I don't know much about Madonna or her kids but it seems to me that she has managed to keep them out of the spotlight more than most celebrites and I give her credit for that.

Yeah, yeah I may have to agree and say you may be right.

I still don't like her. Especially her fake British accent.