@boomerang,
Just following along. I agree that Mo was, at worst, guilty of poor sportsmanship like pretty much every kid at that age.
boomerang wrote:
But it isn't necessarily that the adults want to intervene in everything -- it's that the kids want the adults to intervene in everything. Every little infraction sends them running to a grown up for resolution.
Hmmm. Maybe so, but it still seems like they're getting a message that we (adults) are sending. Like, maybe by parents intervening all the time the kids get the message that that's how it's supposed to be.
My daughter just had a really bad soccer practice the other day. I could tell as we got there that she was just in a certain mood and that it wasn't going to go well. Sure enough, many conflicts with other girls ensued and she came running to me (not her coach) pointing a finger at another girl and accusing her of "being mean to her". I was watching, and there is no doubt that the girl was being mean to her. But I also saw my daughter doing and saying mean things, as well as blaming everything that happened to her on someone else. I told her she had to handle it (without violence) and that I can't fix her problems. She was still pissed, now at me as well. But seriously, what was I going to do? Go up to the girl and tell her to leave my daughter alone? What would happen as soon as I walked away from that situation? When Ducklet gets in these moods it isn't pretty and it almost never ends well, but this attitude that everyone around her is responsible for whatever befalls her, I hope that's not coming from home. It may be time for some serious examination.
Another thing is that, at this age, the version of events that a child tells their parent usually differs from the truth by about two and a half miles. I got an email from a parent of a child that is friends with Ducklet asking about an event that caused their teacher to yell at them. The way the boy had described it to his mom made her think it was verbal abuse and he said he didn't want to go back to school because of it (sound familiar?). Once the details of the story came out, however, it was evident that the children were abusing the teacher and the teacher, rightfully, sent them out of the class with stern words, but did not yell at them.
Maybe Jack embellished a bit when talking to his mom. Or maybe there's something going on developmentally at this age that enhances the negativity of these situations and makes the events more significant to them than they warrant.
