High School Senior with Aspergers & Careers

What I raised my child on is this thought. Either get training for work to make some money or McDonalds is always hiring. It does not matter if he does not know what he wants to do for the rest of his life, but it is important that he get training to earn some money. That way if he can earn some money he can change his job for a career if he decides to.

cms - hopefully LibertyD will come by. She's recently done a far bit of research on working with young people with Asperger's. As I recall, she's home-schooling her nephew, who has Asperger's, now.

Here are links to LibertyD's two threads on the topic of AS :

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=11442&highlight=aspergers

http://www.able2know.com/forums/viewtopic.php?t=7330&highlight=aspergers

There might be something in one of those discussions which would be helpful.

Let him be
This kid reminds me of me. I hated school. I learned a lot from life in the real world. Do not give him any money, let him survive on his own. Little by little he will find out what he is good at and start doing just that to survive. Later in life he will crave for things he cannot afford and he will start thinking about his future. Falling in love also helps give you direction in life, hope he finds somebody.
P.S. I am now forty one and about to study law. At this age I have decided to be a lawyer. I only have 6 units in college and that was in 1982. I have worked as a mortage broker, real estate agent, computer consultant, accounting consultant, and a zillion odd jobs. I am now doing college thesis, research, feasibility study, etc. to survive.

HS Senior with Asperger's Syndrome and Careers
I am new at using this forum, so I hope this gets to where I intend for it to go.

Thanks for the replies. Some of you are suggesting to just let him work and get a taste of life and that may be a good way to go...however, I would specifically like to hear from someone (I know this not common and it will be a challenge to find someone) who has helped a young adult with Asperger's Syndrome to begin life after high school. Keep those posts coming. Thanks

ehbeth: I followed your links to previous discussion by libertyD I hope she does come by.

Ricardo: Your plans are very exciting, enjoy and go for it!!

Cma--

Welcome!

Your son is spending his high school years avoiding reality. I can understand that for an AS kid, video games are far more enjoyable and predictable than the unstructured reality of high school.

You say that other people have suggested to him that he investigate local colleges and the armed services. Evidently, he's rejected these suggestions and as an adult--or near adult--he has a right to.

What he does not have a "right" to do is collect free room and board for the rest of his natural born days. One of the most difficult parts of being a parent is penalizing a child for short-sighted and irresponsible behavior.

Have you indicated to him what will happen in June, after graduation, if he doesn't come up with some acceptable plans?

Are you going to offer him room and board, for a reasonable price? What will you do if he chucks his high school diploma under the bed and continues playing video games?

I have a feeling that you've given your son a certain amount of slack because of his learning difficulties--and that at this point he's taking advantage of you.

He's an adult--or near adult. You can't live his life for him or even plan his life for him, but you can make your own choices.

Good luck. Hold your dominion.

Noddy24: Ouch, tough questions, but right on. No, I have not talked to him about what happens after June. I do need to do that and will...soon. I am sort of feeling my way through all this. And yes, I have been slack with him and he is testing his "adult" status quite a bit. So I need to find some way to get his attention. What is your experience with AS, if you don't mind sharing? CMS

CMS--

My experience with kids with AS or autistic symptoms is mostly theoretical and vicarious. I have a friend with an autistic godchild, another friend with a son crusading on behalf of a young neighbor and a young cousin who has an autistic stepchild. I'm a sedentary type with an excellent public library and I enjoy researching other people's problems.

I do have experience with teenaged boys. I had two of my own and acquired six stepsons. Force of circumstance gave me experience with schizophrenia, dislexia and other learning disabilities, ADHD and a sweet little butter-wouldn't-melt-in-his-mouth sociopath.

I've learned that whatever social or emotional disabilities a kid has, the garbage has to go out; rooms have to be cleaned; homework has to be done. Social and emotional disabilities do not exempt a kid from responsibility.

Consider: Since your son's social life is limited, what social skill he has are based on getting along with you (and getting his way with you). As a child he needed you to be a refuge and a tower of strength--and you provided what he needed.

Exasperatingly from a parental point of view, your son feels no particular urgency about the rest of his life. His grade point average doesn't indicate a great love of learning, so college would simply be buying him some time--at X amount of money per credit hour.

Unfortunately, your son has no experience that would convince him that wasting money is a bad idea.

I'm not sure about the armed services for an AS kid. Yes, the services provide structure, but the life of an enlistee has little privacy, the better to ensure bonding with military buddies. Quite possibly your son wouldn't want to bond with military buddies. He's always going to march to a different drummer and he'll probably not be a success marching in army boots.

My guess is that he sees graduation in June as a milestone--no more pencils, no more books and all day video game time for twelve months out of the year.

Of course you want him to have an interesting and stimulating job--but perhaps he'd be happier with a routine job that left him energy for interesting and stimulating outside pursuits?

Face it--he doesn't have enough life experience to know what being Really Bored To Tears means. Flipping burgers for a year or so is minimum wage. This is depressing--at least for you. Call his stint at the fast food joint "Reality Therapy" and you'll feel much better about his chances.

Is his disability certified? What social services are available? Are there any sheltered workshops in your area? Is there an agency that helps Different Drummer kids find satisfactory jobs? Once he's got a belly full of Burger Flipping, he'll be much more interested in your research.

Good luck. Hold your dominion.