When to intervene if some one else’s child is in trouble?

I have experienced both of these senarios. In the case of the child darting, I said I will get him. I them retrieved the child for a grateful parent.

In the case of a crying child it is hard to tell if there is actually no parent nearby. However, one would have to assume that this is the case. Otherwise we have a case of a neglectant parent.

I think the best thing to do is notify the store personnel. If you take the child by the hand and guide them to store personnel, you may be seen as someone other than a concerned person trying to be helpful.

Judgement has to be made but it would be better to err on the side of caution for the safety of the child.

I think in both those scenarios the mother would appreciate the help.

When my daughter was five, I drove to the school to pick her up. She wasn't where she was supposed to be and I was frantic. I waited, I drove around, I went back, I was sweating bullets. After half an hour, I went home to see if she'd walked home by herself. No, not there. I was just thinking of calling the police when a car drove up with my daughter in it. I was so relieved but also so friggen angry at the mom! She said Denise had been waiting for me (they got out 5 minutes early) and she didn't want to leave her there alone so she asked her to get into her car and wait for me. Didn't they see me???? I was there for ages, pacing up and down. If they weren't there, then WHERE were they all that time? I really let her have it, even though she was trying to be helpful. I have never been so scared in my life.

This happened to me the other day. A young girl of about 5 was running around a supermarket hysterically. Obviously distressed about being lost and was frantically looking for someone.

I tried to approach her so that I could take her to the store managers to page the parents but she was frightened and didn't seem comfortable. So I ran over to the managers and told them and they followed her around (she wasn't stopping for anyone) while looking for the parent.

When the dad was found, he didn't seem to care and acted like he was being bothered by the staff. :-(

I wish more parents would orient their kids on what to do when lost. My parents always told me where to go. I once got forced off a crowded train in Japan, and separated from my parents but I knew what to do. If that ever happened I was supposed to get off at the next stop and wait right on the platform for bit. If my parents didn't immediately show up on the next couple of trains (which they did) I was supposed to seek police etc.

That experience could have been very very frightening if I didn't know what to do. I could have ended up miles away without much ability to communicate where I came from. Getting lost as a kid can be very frightening. Two of my earliest memories are of getting lost and freaking out about it.

Hmmm...I have certainly intervened in a lost child situation...something still a bit easier for women than men, I think.

If I saw a toddler darting away in a situation which placed them in danger, and a parent impeded and unable to do anything, I would intervene too.

It's a hell of a judgment call, though.

It's awful when you see an interaction which clearly sees a parent out of control, that stops short of abuse so clear that I would call the cops.

When I see a parent trying to manage a tantrum in a very public place I always, if I easily can, catch their eye and give them an empathic glance....young parents, especially, here are very subject to what I call the Supermarket Mafia...where older people are very open in their disapproval if a little person is giving trouble.

One of our staff at work grabbed a toddler who had made it away from their parents, down a long corridor, and out automatic doors, onto a major road with heavy traffic.

The parents were resentful and rude (probably because they felt bad) when the little fella was returned. Poor kid.

I'm the queen of intervene and I've never had a parent get mad at me. Better safe than sorry.

When I see a frazzled mom I ask if she needs a hand explaining that I've had days like that too.

And I have had days like that and I've wished someone would offer to help instead of just giving me dirty looks.

Crying kid in the store is easy -- find out who they're there with, find out that person's name and start yelling for them. There isn't any reason to touch them or to lead them around. By yelling you'll at least, you'll attract the attention of the store's staff. You risk a bit of embarrassement but that's it.

Mo and I used to practice identifying people who are likely to help (people in uniforms, parents with kids) and we also practiced identifying bus stops getting on city busses since the bus drivers are trained to get the police if a kid asks for help.

I would NEVER ask a kid to get in my car. That woman was crazy. I would have been seriously pissed.

Appallingly bad judgment by the adult!!!

I once was at the subway station when I saw a child (a little older) about 11 obviously lost his parent. While I kept my eye on him, he spied a police officer and walked right up to him. The police officer happen to take him in the same direction I was headed (he must have asked where they were headed and realized that the parent was changing trains). They walked down to the other platform and you can see an obviouly frigtened mom looking franticly around. It was wonderful to see the reunion. That mom did teach her child correctly - he didn't panic - just went to seek the correct help.

I've gotten both reactions when stopping a toddler - fortunately more often a grateful smile. Yes - I think it is easier for a woman especially one that has a child with them at the time.

Once on the airplane we were sitting behind a young child that was getting a bit hyper. We had our two girls with us and had them busily doing some stuff we brought along. As I had brought lots of cheap crap for them to play with, I offerred up some of our stuff for him. The mom seem to resent this and said oh I have stuff. Then why the h*ll did they not give him any to play with?

Another plane story - there were a young couple trying to get their baby's car seat buckled and placed into the plane seat - seeing I had done this numerous times and they seem frazzled, I offerred some advice about lifting the hand rail to make room and let them know I've done this many times if they wanted help - they responded like we know what we are doing - while a line of people are waiting to get to their seats because they're blocking the aisle.

I do that too with my kids. Ask if you get lost, who/where would you go for help here?

another thing - you need to teach your child not to take a ride from anyone without asking you/or without a certain procedure. Once my daughter was at a birthday party. My husband dropped her off and after talking with one of the parents, this parent offered to drive her home. However, hubby forgot to tell our daughter. Even knowing this mom, my daughter refused to get in the car without verifying with a call to dad.