how can i tell the parents of the 3yr old boy that their son stinks.

Wear one of these



When the parents come to collect the child, they'll hopefully get the message

If you are caring for the child for pay, aren't you responsible for bringing this up with the parents?

What other red flags are you seeing?

I'd say a child who is wearing the same clothes and hasn't bathed for 3 days is a possible sign of neglect.

Aren't there some kind of guidelines you have to follow if you suspect neglect or abuse?

Maybe they don't get it.

Seriously, some people just really don't get it. Ask any social worker.

You need to bring it up with his parents. Just politely ask if they have trouble with bathing him (some kids hate baths) and if maybe they need some help.

I agree with Chai though, please look for other signs of neglect. Even people who "don't get it" don't get a free pass because they don't know any better. Not when it comes to a child.

And it bothers me that a 3 year old stinks. That doesn't happen in a few days or a week or even probably two weeks.

Do you have a way of bathing the baby yourself?

Give him a change of clothes and hand him back to his parents that way.

There is no excuse for several days of the same cloths.

Though I have a 4 year old who insists on wearing the same pants/shorts / shirt.. or what ever the item of the day is for a LOOONG period of time.

I even let her say no to a bath every now and then..

but this does not sound like a baby or a young child who is able to say no to things like that..

That is exacty my thought.

A well cared for child could go a few days without a bath and not be stinky. It's not like children need underarm deodorant. I think the odor could come from the clothing not being laundered or the child having accidents and not being properly cleaned up. I think you need to say something. Tell the parents you noticed an odor and ask if it is anything medical you should be aware of. Ask if there is something you can do to help. If they are dropping off the child for a stay of 12 hours I assume they have very little time to do housekeeping, they probably have a stinky house with piles of clothing lying around. I don't know why people have children and then farm them out for most of their young lives, but they do- and as a caregiver, I think you can do a lot to make life better for this little boy.

Yeah - unless a child is playing in crap or something that makes him smell - at that age kids don't have smelly sweat like we do so they don't need to bath as often. It must be longer he hasn't been bathed.

I would start by talking with the parents. Do the parents stink?

I know you didn't mean to be funny but that had my coffee almost hitting my computer.

To answer, though... yep, the child shouldn't stink. I'd take the liberty of giving him a bath if it was that bad, but I'd also bring it up with the parents. And is it the child or the clothes? Maybe launder them with your own while he's napping and see which it is.

It really bothers me that the little one is at a care-giver's for 12 hours. That's a long time, and boy, early - 5:00 a.m. That's so early for such a little one. I hope he gets to nap at your place.

12 hours is a long time, but not in a bad way.
At least, for the working parent..

Another thing that crossed my mind.. is when Jillian dresses herself in the morning..
If I do not pay attention, she will take clothes from the dirty laundry basket to wear.
She keeps one in her room and when she takes off her clothes, she puts them in the basket. Sometimes, something of hers that is a favorite ( like I mentioned above) gets into the basket and not to the washer fast enough and she pulls it out and wears it. An at the last minute in the morning.. Im not going to argue with her.

Does this child speak up about what he is wearing?
Do you get the impression that he may be wanting to wear those clothes for days?
Does he wear diapers? Could it be musty ... diaper on too long.. kind of a smell?
Is the smell his BODY..? Or his clothes?
What about his hair? Kids can sometimes throw a fit about that too. Not wanting their hair washed.
A sweaty scalp can smell even after only 2 days.. where as the entire body would not.. But that isnt something you would notice just walking by a child. You would have to hold them to know that..

You have the boy 12 hours a day. Haven´t the parents left extra cloth with you, so you can change him now and then when necessary and wash his cloth? Children spill, get wet, get dirty and need to change cloths now and then during the day. If you don´t ask the parents for extra cloth.
Give him a bath - or let the kids play in the bathtub in case he is afraid of being bathed. Put on clean cloth and wash the others and see if the stink goes away.
Small children don´t stink.
Does he have an illness?

Perhaps the parents believe you should be bathing the child. possibly they believe this is part of the 12 hour deal. I cant see anything wrong with a child minder bathing child if necessary.

Do you have any formal child care qualifactions?

that thought crossed my mind too.

Maybe the parents expect you to bathe him. I mean.. at 530, the last thing I am going to do as a parent is enforce a bath when my child will be staying in someone elses home for the day ..

BUT i would never silently assume..

Yeah but even if she does take dirty clothes, I am pretty sure they don't stink.

I doubt the parents expect a bath. They'd have said "hey man, my kid stinks! Why aren't you bathing him?" if they did.

5:30am till 5pm? that's so brutal! poor child, that is way too long.

Perhaps the parents don't notice the stink; they probably wouldn't if they stink, too. But they're not doing the kid any favours if he does and they're unaware. That's why mentioning it would be a good idea. Kids in school would be very cruel if it continues.

I agree. It takes awhile for things to get stinky unless the child is having potty issues. This is a sign of neglect over the long term. It's not just missing the evening bath or a kid who wants to wear what he wore yesterday. I can't believe the parents don't know. I think they don't care.

I didn't mean it to be funny (just in case anyone thought I was) - just thought it could be a general hygene problem with the parents.

But I am glad I brightened your day.

Could be if they are thrown in a laundry basket with wet stuff - you get that musty smell.