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Father of a 3 months old needing help

 
 
Reply Sat 31 Jan, 2009 07:23 pm
Alright. My daughter is used to sleeping on her tummy, even though they say there is an increased chance of SIDs, she just won't sleep on her back at all. Well that worked fine until the exact day she turned three months. She found out how to flip over on her back, and she won't stop. To top it off my wife works all night, and I'm up with her flipping over ALL night and it drives me crazy. ANd I feel horrible because when my wife gets home I act like a complete asshole too her because I had a shitty night. Any advice?
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Type: Question • Score: 8 • Views: 2,263 • Replies: 14
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Intrepid
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jan, 2009 08:28 pm
@Ferostie,
I am not a certified expert, but I have raised children and grandchildren and can speak only from experience.

The fact that your daughter has the muscle development to turn herself over should give you some peace of mind in that she is at less risk of being in a dangerous situation on her tummy since she should be able to also turn over when necessary. The same for on her back.

As I reread your post I am struck by the fact that the problem seems to be the flipping that is driving you crazy. I assume it is the sound of this activity.

It is not necessary to be right beside her all night. Couldn't you move into another close by room and leave the door open.

It is good to be concerned, but don't be overly protective. Your daughter will most certainly be fine but it is you that will suffer the effects. Just be happy that she is active and is growing normally.
Butrflynet
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jan, 2009 08:35 pm
@Intrepid,
The part about taking your hard day out on your wife is also a problem to ask for help about. Your marriage will have a tough time surviving many years of that.

What does your wife do during the day when she is sleeping while you are at work? Is she up constantly flipping the kid back over or does she let the kid get some rest while she does too?

If she's up all day flipping the kid over, does she take her hard day out on you when you get home? If not, what is she doing to handle the stress differently than you?



Intrepid
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jan, 2009 08:37 pm
@Butrflynet,
You should really direct your reply to Ferostie's name, not mine. It appears that I am taking my hard day out on my wife when, in fact, this is not true. Thank you. Wink
Ferostie
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jan, 2009 08:41 pm
@Intrepid,
its not tha fact that she is flipping over that is the problem. its the fact that she will only sleep on her tummy
chai2
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jan, 2009 08:42 pm
I'd say let the baby sleep how she wants.

If your wife wasn't working at night she wouldn't be up all night long doing that.

Would she?
0 Replies
 
Intrepid
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jan, 2009 08:42 pm
@Ferostie,
That is what I originally thought. My reply still holds true. If she is able to flip over onto her back as well, I would not be overly concerned.
0 Replies
 
Butrflynet
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jan, 2009 08:43 pm
@Intrepid,
I thought I clicked on the reply button in his post. Yours must have gotten in the way. So you can go back to being nice to your wife. Wink
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jan, 2009 09:23 pm
I agree - since she can now flip on her own, there is nothing you can do to stop her. The one thing you want to make sure is that there is nothing else in the crib with her. Do not use a blanket - use one of those warm zip up sleepies instead.

To be a good parent you need to have a good nights sleep as well. That was one of the best pieces of advice my daughter's doctor ever gave me. You won't be as good as a parent if you are sleep deprived.
0 Replies
 
Intrepid
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jan, 2009 09:34 pm
Oh, and never, never, have a pillow in the crib.
0 Replies
 
Eva
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jan, 2009 10:45 pm
I think I understand. She flips herself onto her back, which wakes her up and she cries. This wakes you up, so you have to put her back on her tummy to quiet her and get her back to sleep. Is this right?

If so...you may just have to keep up your routine for a little while until she learns how to roll back onto her tummy by herself. She will figure it out, it just may take her a while.

Babies go through lots of these phases. Just about the time you have everything figured out, it all changes again. Hang in there. This will pass.

Does anybody else here remember at what age their child began rolling over onto their tummy?
squinney
 
  1  
Reply Sat 31 Jan, 2009 11:07 pm
Eva - That's the way I read it, too.

Ferostie, keep reminding yourself that this is exactly why babies are made to be cute and smell good. She will be smiling at you by next week, which is also part of the design.

Hang in there. I imagine you can tell your wife you are sorry and ask for her understanding. This short period of sleep deprivation is hard on every parent. It won't be long before she is flipping herself back over on her own, especially if you give her a little more time to do so before getting up to do it for her.
0 Replies
 
aidan
 
  1  
Reply Sun 1 Feb, 2009 01:53 am
@Ferostie,
I wouldn't let her sleep on her stomach. But that's just me - my motto with my kids has always been better safe than sorry.
Quote:

SearchPediatrics
HomeHealthPediatrics
EmailPrint PediatricsBy AgeMedical InfoParenting Filed In:PediatricsBabies Sleep Safest on Their Backs: Reduce the Risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
Contents

What is SIDS?
Facts About SIDS
Babies Should Sleep on Their Backs
What Can I Do to Help Lower the Risk of SIDS?
What Other Things Can I Do to Keep My Baby Healthy?
What is SIDS?

SIDS, a word that stands for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, is the sudden and unexplained death of a baby under one year of age.

Because many SIDS babies are found in their cribs, some people call SIDS "crib death." But cribs do not cause SIDS.

Facts About SIDS

Doctors and nurses don’t know what causes SIDS, but they do know:

SIDS is the leading cause of death in babies after one month of age.

Most SIDS deaths occur in babies who are between 2 and 4 months old.

More SIDS deaths occur in colder months.

Babies placed to sleep on their stomachs are much more likely to die of SIDS than babies placed on their backs to sleep.
African American babies are twice as likely to die of SIDS as white babies. American Indian babies are nearly three times more likely to die of SIDS than white babies.
Even though there is no way to know which babies might die of SIDS, there are some things that you can do to make your baby safer.

Babies Should Sleep on Their Backs.

One of the best ways to lower the risk of SIDS is to put your baby on his or her back to sleep, even for naps.

This is new advice. Until a few years ago, doctors told mothers to place babies on their stomachs to sleep. If you have older children, your doctor may have told you that babies should sleep on their stomachs. But research now shows that fewer babies die of SIDS when they sleep on their backs. In fact, before the Back to Sleep campaign began to recommend back sleeping as the best way to reduce SIDS, more than 5,000 babies in the U.S. died from SIDS every year. But now, as the Back to Sleep message spreads and more babies sleep on their backs, the number of babies who die of SIDS is under 3,000 each year.

Back sleeping is the best sleep position for your baby and provides the best protection against SIDS. The American Academy of Pediatrics says that back sleeping is the preferred sleep position.

Make sure everyone knows to place babies on their backs to sleep. Tell your baby's grandparents, aunts, uncles, child care providers, friends, babysitters, and anyone who cares for your baby. Some babies don't like sleeping on their backs at first, but most get used to it quickly. Babies who are on their backs can move their arms and legs and look around more easily.

Is there a risk of choking when my baby sleeps on his or her back?

Many mothers worry that babies sleeping on their backs will choke if they spit up or vomit while sleeping. Because babies automatically swallow or cough up such fluid, doctors have found no increase in choking or other problems in babies sleeping on their backs.

What about side sleeping?

To keep your baby safest when he or she is sleeping, use the back sleep position rather than the side position. Even though the side position is safer than sleeping on the stomach, babies who sleep on their sides can roll onto their stomachs. A baby sleeping on his or her stomach is at greater risk of SIDS. If you choose to place your baby on his or her side to sleep, make sure the lower arm is in front of the baby to help stop him or her from rolling onto the stomach.

Some products are designed to keep the baby in a certain position during sleep. But there is no proof that using any such product lowers the risk of SIDS.

Some babies have health problems that call for them to sleep on their stomachs. If your baby was born with a birth defect, spits up often after eating, or has a breathing, lung, or heart problem, you should talk to your doctor about the best sleep position for your baby.

Are there times when my baby can be on his or her stomach?

You can place your baby on his or her stomach for "tummy time," when he or she is awake and someone is watching. When the baby is awake, tummy time is good because it helps make your baby’s neck and shoulder muscles stronger.

Will my baby get "flat spots" on his or her head from back sleeping?

For the most part, flat spots on the back of the baby’s head are a passing condition that goes away a few months after the baby learns to sit up. Tummy time when your baby is awake is one way to reduce flat spots.

One other way to reduce flat spots is to change the direction that your baby lies in the crib (head toward one end of the crib for a few nights and then toward the other). Doing this means the baby is not always sleeping on the same side of his or her head. If you think your baby has a more serious problem, talk to your doctor or nurse.

What Can I Do to Help Lower the Risk of SIDS?

Place your baby on his or her back to sleep, at nighttime and naptime.
This is the best way to reduce the risk of SIDS.
Place your baby on a firm mattress, such as in a safety-approved crib.
Don’t put babies to sleep on soft mattresses, sofas, sofa cushions, waterbeds, sheepskins, or other soft surfaces.
Remove all fluffy and loose bedding from the sleep area.
Make sure you take all pillows, quilts, stuffed toys, and other soft items out of the crib.
Make sure your baby’s face and head stay uncovered during sleep.
Keep your baby’s mouth and nose clear of blankets and other coverings during sleep. Use sleep clothing with no other covering over the baby. If you do use a blanket or another covering, make sure your baby is "feet-to-foot" in the crib. Feet-to-foot means that the baby’s feet are at the bottom of the crib, the blanket is no higher than the baby’s chest, and the blanket is tucked in around the crib mattress.

Don’t smoke before or after the birth of your baby.
Create a smoke-free zone around your baby. Make sure no one smokes around your baby.
Don’t let your baby overheat during sleep.
Keep your baby warm during sleep, but not too warm. Your baby’s room should be at a temperature that is comfortable for an adult. Too many layers of clothing or blankets can overheat your baby.
What Other Things Can I Do to Keep My Baby Healthy?

Get good health care. Good care starts early in pregnancy and includes eating the right foods and not smoking, taking drugs, or drinking alcohol while pregnant. You should also have frequent check-ups with your doctor or nurse. This kind of care helps keep your baby from having problems that could put him or her at risk for SIDS.

Breastfeed your baby, if possible. Studies show that breastfeeding is good for your baby. Breast milk helps to protect the baby from some infections and keeps your baby healthy.

There is no scientific proof that bed-sharing between baby and an adult reduces SIDS. In fact, in some cases, bed-sharing can be unsafe. If you choose to have your baby sleep in the bed with you in order to breastfeed, make sure your baby sleeps on his or her back. Avoid soft surfaces, pillows, and loose covers. Make sure the baby can’t get trapped between the mattress and the framework of the bed (headboard, footboard), a wall, or other furniture.

Take your baby for scheduled well-baby check-ups. Also, make sure your baby receives his or her shots on time.

For more information about the Back to Sleep campaign, call toll-free, 1-800-505-2742. Or write to: Back to Sleep/NICHD, 31 Center Drive, Room 2A32, Bethesda, MD, 20892-2425.

Back to Sleep campaign sponsors:

National Institute of Child Health and Human Development, Maternal and Child Health Bureau, American Academy of Pediatrics, SIDS Alliance, and Association of SIDS and Infant Mortality Programs


Quote:
For more information: SIDS - Reducing the Risk
Learn more about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and how you can reduce your baby's risk of developing SIDS, including the new American Academy of Pediatrics recommendations that advise against cosleeping, bedsharing, and side/stomach sleeping, and actually encourages pacifier use in this new article on reducing your baby's risk of SIDS.


If your baby doesn't have good neck muscles or control, (which she won't at three months) she may get herself in a position where she's not be able to turn her head to the side so she can breathe if she's sleeping on her stomach.
Until she's older and can sit up with her neck muscles fully strong enough to support her head - if she's on her stomach- she may get stuck with her mouth and nose mashed into the crib mattress.

Sad to say, but I didn't sleep through the night until my son was over a year old (I breastfed). That's just part of the price you have to pay when you have a baby.

That blanket trick (laying the baby on her back to sleep and tucking the blanket in under both sides of the mattress) and/or swaddling will help the baby stay in one position and warm through the night so that there will be less shifting of position and startling, or getting cold, which is most often what wakes babies up.
You just have to train her to sleep on her back - I would - and until she does I'd keep her in a portacrib next to my bed and turn her back onto her back everytime she turned herself over.
I would never place her on her stomach to sleep.

How would you feel if you put her down to sleep on her stomach (exactly what you've been told not to do) and something happened? How would you feel if she turned herself onto her stomach and you left her like that and something happened?
I would lose the sleep and not take the risk.
She's only a baby for such a short time.

0 Replies
 
Bohne
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 Feb, 2009 09:40 pm
@Eva,
Quote:
Does anybody else here remember at what age their child began rolling over onto their tummy?



Yes, I actually remember.
First time I saw my son doing it, he was 5 1/2 months old.

Have you tried maybe rolling up a blanket next to your daughter, which would make it more difficult for her to turn onto her back?
0 Replies
 
DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Tue 3 Feb, 2009 10:02 pm
@Ferostie,
Stop flipping her onto her stomach.

Either rock her to sleep, or let her fall asleep on her own.

How complete of an asshole are you going to be if she dies after you flipped her onto her stomach?
0 Replies
 
 

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