Ya' take the good, ya' take the bad, ya' take 'em both and there ya' have....

I'd give him the book to read himself, but let him know you're there to answer any questions.

I think Mo's idea of an explanation of where babies come from and yours (or mine) are quite different.

Forcing it would give him TMI to process.

Wait a bit after he reads the book, a week or so, and casually bring it up in conversation.

I can't do that because he doesn't really read very good.

Plus, I really want him to feel like he can talk to me about this stuff. The book I bought does a really good job of explaining everything in a way that kids will understand so I'm not worried about the embarrassment factor for him.

If there are any adoptive parents out there reading this I'd like to know how you handled things. This book does talk about different ways to "get" a baby but I wonder if I might face some questions I haven't considered.

There is NO way I woulda wanted the talk to be with my mom. (he is getting info, but not stuff you talk to mom about)

I think Mr Boomer might could take a spot here...

what is the worse thing he could ever ask you? The one thing that would make you just double over and be speechless?


Have a conversation about it over dinner. honestly.

That is how I have done this with Jillian.
Granted, the situation is a bit different. She got to watch a mother at her day care get really big, then come in one day with a flat belly and a new baby.
I told her that is what happened to me. And I explained her belly button is her mommy button. That is where she was hanging inside my body growing. Everyone has them. For HEr.. that was a big point of laughter. The image she must have had of her literally hanging inside my belly .. ugh.

Anyway.. I would suggest tackling the one issue that bothers you the most..
because after that.. everything is easy.

How?
Pbbthh.. If you can put little Mo on growth hold for about 5 more years and let me experience what you are.. I will pass along what I have learned.. ha

I, an only child, was told about anatomy in 6th or 7th grade. As in all the girls in the class got to leave and watch a movie, which had facts but no facts. My mother never told me anything, much less my father. I sat around in the early part of my teenage years reading the Ligorian, a church pamphlet that explained about sex and mortal sin. You've heard of "catholic girls"? Well, yeah, I got to that stage, but sometime later.

I learned about sex and love at the same time from a jewish atheist nineteen year old mountaineer. Thank goddess (I don't believe in them either), a great intro.
I was lucky.

Anything you say, Boom, will be wiser than my childhood learning.

and the answer " I dont know yet" is quite the valid one too.

I agree with him having correct information, much sooner than later while age appropriate, and that Dad has a role here.

Ohhh yeah

My mother "told me" ( basically handed me a book and walked away) when I was about.. 14?

I already had sex..

several times.

Mo probably already has some stupid ideas from his friends. I also vote for Mr. Boomer reading the book with him. I think the parent with the matching equipment is best suited to deal with the subject.

Anything I say will be better than my childhood "learning" too, Osso. I know where you're coming from. I don't want to not talk about it and I don't want to just send him off to learn on his own and I am afraid that he is already "learning" from his classmates.

And with no disrespect to Mr. B, I do think it would be better coming from me. We already talk a lot about his girlfriend and when it is and when it is not okay to hold her hand or kiss her or pay attention to her and when is is okay and not okay for her to pay attention to him and how he should handle it if she wants attention at the wrong time, etc. You know, respect.

Mo and I talk to each other about all kinds of stuff and regarding sex I really want to keep that line of communication open. I'm afraid it would be awkward for Mr. B and that would make it awkward for Mo.....

I will sit down and talk to Mr. B about it though.

I bought the book because I was really unsure how far I needed to go. Birth control? STD? Ovulation and mensturation? Mastrabation?

The book I bought was written by a nurse who visits elementary schools. She does talks about "body science". The book is written like a visit to a school where the kids ask questions and she answers them as a scientist.

Of course, it's a Canadian nurse because we could never allow such frank talk in American schools.

<sigh>

Boom, guessing the science is beyond his needs right now.

Sympathize with the cross gender thing, I got that with my niecey.

Let him come to you, and be ready.

He will, and he is very lucky...

Oh! By science I mean she says "Scientists don't say "yuck" they say "interesting"."

The book isn't technical at all. It brushes against the emotional aspects and the rules of your house aspect and the sex is nice aspect but is really just a very basic primer on how it all works: how the boy's body produces sperm and the girls body produces eggs and how the sperm gets to the egg and how the baby grows and is delivered.

Mo already knows that a girl is fancy on the inside and a boy is fancy on the outside (thanks Mr. Rogers!) and that a baby doesn't grow in your belly but in a womb and he knows a baby comes out of a vagina. He has bits and pieces but we haven't put the whole thing together.

You're way ahead of me. I would start with the basics and none of that other stuff at his age, while leaving room for his asking - well, I guess I did always do that.. I think I was the main purveyor of both info and sense to my niece from age four on. Luckily, she was generally keen to talk and ask me, ask me, ask me, ask me, ask me.

It's odd and exhilarating, we're peers in talk at this point. She is savvy, observant. I'm, what ere befall, me, been through goofs. Not at all one sided - not that it ever really was, as she was always observant, even at four.

Still, Boom, I'd try to include Dad, somehow, or I think I would. My niece wasn't a boy, so I dunno.

We started out with pictures, boomer. My daughter has a cool book "Encyclopedia of the human body" and we started reading there and looking
at the pictures, the female/male body, DNA, cell structure, muscles and so on... The book naturally progresses into procreation and shows slides of the embryo
and fetus. It's such a great book - my daughter got it as a present from her
researcher godmother and she still looks into it frequently (cell function, DNA and genetics are her subject in school right now).

When she was around five or six years old we also had a cartoon video
explaining the birds and the bees in a childlike manner - soo cute! I bought
it in Germany, but I just looked at Amazon and they have it in English too.
I strongly would suggest this video. There is also a book that comes with
the video - if you'd like to have both....
http://www.amazon.com/Where-Did-Come-Howie-Mandel/dp/B000BITVGU/ref=pd_sbs_v_2

A little side story: I have friends with twins, a boy and a girl. They're two years old now and the girl is a bit more advanced and more aggressive. She always
asks for her brother's toys and usually she just points to it and says: gimme that!
When they were both sitting in the bathtub with their duckies, she asked for
all duckies and she got them. Then she pointed at his penis and said: "Gimme that!" and her brother replied "No, it's attached!"

Interesting, I don't know what her father ever told my niece. I think, generalizations, (musing) maybe just as well. He was always pretty glad she would talk to me. Paid for her trips to see me, and those were talkathons over a bunch of days. In her teens, I needed sleep...

But wait, I was never mother. (Not that her mother... but, still, she was.) And not being mother in a role, maybe I could just talk.

Missed your reply back there, Boomer, and CJane's.

All good.

I think his not reading well is good for this situation. He probably just wants to see if there are any pictures so he can see if what he's been hearing from others is the truth. Let him review the book in his room then later ask if there were any words he needs help with. Treat it like an everyday reading exercise and not the subject of babies and sex. You and/or Mr. B can later talk about the subject in front of him, maybe the two of you taking turns reading it out loud to each other. Afterwards, casually relate it to your own family's story, how it was formed and your values. You might consider a family movie night with some sort of baby animal movie such as Milo and Otis to help break the ice to talk about the subject of where babies come from and the many ways families form.



I found a website that might be helpful for you regarding the adoption perspective. They have an advice section called "2. The facts of life: where do I come from and how did I get here?"

http://www.internationaladoptionhelp.com/international_adoption/international_adoption_developmental.htm



Check these out too, Boomer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkMdRqDXLW8

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z6Nc5RMs6LQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nq5Z15hkMoU

Milo and Otis, I never thought of that in some kind of info way. (key movie, anyway)