<in best Sling Blade imitation> Mmm hmm....
Say what?
Say they going make a new kind of ape, and your momma's donating the DNA?
[no good, too current event related AND literate. sorry]
er... You see where I'm at, PD, ya'll go pick you out a pool cue. Pick one you really like cuz you're going be wearing it to church of a Wednesday night.
(upper lip slightly quivering like your common mad dog)
Tell your trailer trash friends to stay out of this and c'mon. You want so bad to get your ass stomped, well all right, c'mon. First you gotta tell me,
the part that facing me now, I cant tell, it that your face or your ass?
:wink:
And yeah you two used Ya'll but T spelled it you all. (No respect for the proper spelling -- two points off) and the others must have been on a previous page. You don't expect a redneck to read more than one page, do you? :wink:
Looks like you need new teeth anyway, Joe.
How you feel about suckin' yer meals through a straw fer the next six months or so?
Oughta do some'n for that beer belly you're sportin'...
Ya been practicin' fallin' down hard lately? Hope so... :wink:
Yo dawg, what be happenin' n shieeet...dang, big booty ho got her sum ghetto booty n ghetto thighs...DANG! I be mad bling-blang in my boyz' phat corolla wit 19 in rimz n ****, yo.
Wait. Wrong dialect I'm making fun of.
I'm jis back from the local dawg fights in Springdale where two guys get in the ring to beat the living sh*t out of eachother jis for the fun of it. I was disqualified in the third round for killing a guy. Hell, I didn't even know there was a rule like that. A lot of losers look like they're dead when they are hauled off and this cowboy kinda looked dead to me when he took the first swing. I took his head off with left uppercut and he made the damnest sound, kinda of earlpa, URLPAH, then his lights went out. Anyway we put him out on the sidewalk in the BFI and damned if one of the local smokies didn't come up on us and want to know what the hell was going on.
So after we put that nosey sumbitch in the can too we had to drive the goddamned crusier all the way over to Eureka Springs and then borrow a pickup to drive back. Luckily, Ed and Earl were with me all the way, but Karl, the dickhead who owns the poolbar where we had the fights was all bent out of shape cuz of the bodies and all, so then we had to dig them out of there, load them in the borrowed pickup and drive way the hell over to Atoka. I was beat, but I got about three hours sleep in the back of the truck before we ditched it in the Illinois River just off Highway Ten.
We'll be in Tahlequah tonight staying with some Cherokee buddies of mine. Diddie, you want to come over, it'sup to you. :wink:
Midnight, out front'a the Dew Drop Inn right chere at 62 and 82, podnah.
Make sure you have your Depends on, buddy-bud; I'd hate fer yer friends to see ya whipped and shitted. :wink:
Okay then, be that way..we going up to Slick's about dusk for some barbeque then over Lake Tenkiller to shoot some bass, I can be over your way about then, course you know I'm just as likely to shoot your ass as soon as I see it, but I was wondering just how I'd knowd it be you, but then Jimmie said he had it. He says we'll just look for the piece of crap truck that's shaking like it's got a bad cyclinder even though the motor's off, that'd be you in there quivering like a trapped rabbit.
You got any of them identifying tattoos? God, it takes a lot of time to cut all those off! But then you wouldn't know that wouldchew.?
All the best to your grief striken widow.
Joe
Tha's OK; Imo have me a new truck after I finish with you...yours.
Who next fora asswhippin' after Joe? :wink:
'mon....chickens...
Joe R. Lansdale, Night They Missed the Horror Show, viewable here (click to enter):
http://www.revolutionsf.com/article/1561.html
Homer rules....we even have a talking Homer beer opener round here. How redneck is that? (I swear it was a gift.)
Ain't non of ya'll gettin wet? 'Cause it's rainin' like a cow peein' on a flat rock!
Awwww scheee-schhucks!! I hope yallz aint nuttin up on uz alll. R ya?
Hey Lazarus!!!! You is the un that strted this here thang here.
Where for art tcha? EEz okay, me un cuzzin Billy bob Ray Sue Tommy Dale Sasafraz bercky wherlee, ars a way-tin fur uuuuuuuu. . )
Heeeeyoooo yall! I'm back! Wooooeeeeee! How yall been?
Rednecks dilemma
Free admission to Lynryd Skynryd.......
Free draft at Hank Jr.
