Yall know how dem Brits ask for a cigarette? They say "Can I bum a fag..." Hooey! Ain't that a hoot...
Now, why'd they go 'n cancel Hee Haw?
Sheee-yiiii-it.
(Three syllables.)
It was way too kuntry. A stumpjumpin' stereetype an I, fer one, didn lak it not what dadgum bit, ya heah?! Don make me haveta git mah eyeron, slick.
Ya ain't comin out heah on the back porch with me, not an spit that tobaccy, no sir ee.......ain't goin ter do it.
Tyrius wrote:What is a redneck?
(Immediately looked at your location, then busted out laughin'...
)
Hey y'all was goin own? Sumun say som'in bout poss'm fer supper?
Ahnt know bout dat possum, but the Fahr Halls gone have a turkey shoot fer Thanksgivin'!
I say! I was out in the sun all day and developed a frightful case of burn on the back of my neck. Oh, dear, why are you all glaring at me so? Is there a Starbucks nearby?
This peaceful transfer of authority is rare in history, yet common in our country. With a simple oath, we affirm old traditions, and make new beginnings. As I begin, I thank President Clinton for his service to our nation. And I thank Vice President Gore for a contest conducted with spirit, and ended with grace.
I am honored and humbled to stand here, where so many of America's leaders have come before me, and so many will follow. ...
God bless you all, and God bless America.
Good 'un!
Ah'll be dere fo' th' shoot, fee! Jes lemme borry back wunna them shotguns ah loaned to Slappy. Hell, he ain't never even shot it, proper-like. Jes likes to scare the bejeezus outta them cityfolks wit' it when theys in his neck o' th' woods...
"The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa."
Uh heelk!
I done awreddy signed up fer the Turkey Shoot at the Town Hall ... we ain't got a real Fahr Hall uv our own here 'bouts ... we'z jes' vol'nteers, ya see, we shares one wit' thuh nex' town over. They's got a gay-raj an' all, ya know ... real proper-like. Mos' thuh vol'nteers 'round the Tri-County Corners area shares thuh gear they got there. We all gits tagether fer wrenchin' on 'em an' washin' 'em an' all, an' drinkin' beer, an' we trades off drivin' 'em in p'rades. We do got a Town Shop, though; we keeps the roadgrader an' the big Oshkosh snowplow there, an' a couple dumptrucks an' a pretty good Bobcat. The 'dozer ain't run good in a coupla years ... but we'll prolly git the parts an' git her goin' better this win'er.
And that's fer real.
Weez all volnteers too. An we kin woop ya!
I'm fixin to run acrost the street for a pack of cigs........now whar's my wallet? What tha'.....ain't in my britches. Well, I'll be........I ain't seen nothing so funny since the pigs ate little sister.
Sew, does anee uhz yew fyouks knyew whar ah k'n ketch de twenny-too ta warsh'ntin an'en tranksfer ta a bussatl takeme'a Hollantayown, hun?
Timber, if'n you guys need 'nother John Deere, just lemme know...ah'll drive it on down for ya.
Ain't no bus here 'bouts, stranger ... either git in the truck an' I'll ride ya far as I'm goin' over toward that way, or ya kin just stand there an' git wet iffen it rains. Jes' shove them empties down off thuh seat onta thuh floor, an' don' spook muh dawgs when ya toss yer bag in the bed there. Mind thuh ladder rack.
