My mother in law keeps calling CPS on us

@DrewDad,

What does that mean? I haven't heard of that before. She emails and it's bothering us, so we filtered her emails so they go back to her. AND we don't have to see her email address in our inbox! We haven't been able to block her from calling the house because it would always show up as private, but the phone company said that they will put a private calling block on our phone so she can't call under private. She has tried to call the school, but they don't let her know anything about my kiddos because we have her as a no contact with the kids at school.

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@mommieof3,

mommieof3 wrote:

They told us... well everytime there is a complaint made we will be out to visit with you. Well to me there shouldn't be a visit, because the allegations were false, so therefore there is no reason for a visit. I understand (because of my line of work) where there might be just that one time that they ignore the call. But I mean comeon.... this is ridiculous.

It is, but this is what they have to do. Common sense doesn't always rule. But if they say they are on your side, and the numerous "unfounded" rulings bear that out, then I say you work with them. Moving won't help. Running won't help. The only thing that will help is time. How big is the CPS office in your jurisdiction? You don't think that after a while they will be onto her and not appreciate her sending them on wild goose chases when they have kids who really do need their help? You need for those people to know you better than they know her. It's unfortunate, but this is the best way to handle it. Make them tea when they come, ask about their families, whatever you can do to get to know them so that they can see what is happening here.

Aside from that is Drewdad's suggestion that you see a lawyer about civil redress. Find out if you can sue or press charges against her for what she is doing.

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I would suggest that a restraining order might also be pursued.

Thinking through the bit about suing her, it might just give her the attention she craves.

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I guess I don't know what to do. My husband and I are talking with an Attorney tomorrow. He has advised us not to talk to anyone unless he is present. He said that they sometimes twist what we say.... example: Do you or your spouse have a history of depression? Answer: yes, postpartum with my second child. Didn't last long. ..... How they might twist it.....:::: Mother might be suffering from depression, does have a history of it. ::::: I didn't know they could do that sort of thing, but he said they can... if you have a few dirty dishes in your sink, they might report that you have a filthy kitchen, dirty dishes in sink... They don't say that it's just 3 bowls and 3 spoons.::::: I have heard lots of different things, but my concern isn't CPS.. It's mainly his mother. I want her to leave our family alone. She was emailing us nasty emails, and we ignored them. Can't block her email address... but I talked to my provider and they told me to filter the emails that she sends us to get forward to her email address. So, that's what we did! We are going to talk to this attorney tomorrow and we will all discuss our options. Our juridiction isn't very big. Just 4 caseworkers is all.

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@mommieof3,

Tread carefully. If the lawyer is going to help you with your mother-in-law, then use him. If he is going to get you into a legal fight with CPS, who thus far hasn't twisted your words and has found all of the claims unfounded, I think you will regret it. Is this lawyer a friend of yours? If not then his interest is to make money. If there's no fight he doesn't make money. If you don't have a fight with CPS now I wouldn't start one. Be very clear with him that you need his help with the mother-in-law and not CPS. Only four case workers means they'll get the picture pretty quick.

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@FreeDuck,

FreeDuck wrote:

Is this lawyer a friend of yours? If not then his interest is to make money.

I'm sure you didn't mean to suggest that all lawyers are only interested in money and not helping their clients .... right, FD?

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@Ticomaya,

It's a business like any other, Tico.

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@FreeDuck,

I take Tico's point, though. I help people with computers for money; I certainly do not sabotage their computers to make more work for myself.

So let's not assume all lawyers are amoral ambulance chasers.

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@DrewDad,

DrewDad wrote:

So let's not assume all lawyers are amoral ambulance chasers.

That's a rather liberal interpretation of my remarks, don't you think? I take Tico's sensitivity (and yours), but I think he's reading more into it than what is there.

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@FreeDuck,

FreeDuck wrote:

That's a rather liberal interpretation of my remarks, don't you think?

Perhaps. The "he's only doing it for money" and "he's getting you to be confrontational in order to increase his billable hours" seem pretty indicative of that mindset to me, though.

Which doesn't make it wrong for you to caution her; some people are amoral ambulance chasers who only care about their billable hours.

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@DrewDad,

Those aren't direct quotes, though, are they. Again, I understand Tico's sensitivity, but I think you're both reading more than what is there.

Some lawyers are amoral ambulance chasers, but most are just doing a job in order to get paid. Just like me. Each person comes to each situation with their own interests. I'm not going to apologize for pointing out that other people don't necessarily have her best interests at heart and that she should consider what their interests are when deciding whether or not to take their advice.

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@FreeDuck,

That makes sense to me. (I agree.)

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@FreeDuck,

FreeDuck wrote:

Some lawyers are amoral ambulance chasers, but most are just doing a job in order to get paid. Just like me. Each person comes to each situation with their own interests. I'm not going to apologize for pointing out that other people don't necessarily have her best interests at heart and that she should consider what their interests are when deciding whether or not to take their advice.

I guess the same can be said about your doctor, right?

Did you really need that last procedure, or was the doc just trying to get paid?

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Thank you for all the response. I understand what you mean... I don't want to get into a fight with CPS, I will let this attorney know that. I trust him, he helped me win custody of my son against his biological father. He was also my sister's attorney during her divorce. He is a general attorney, but mostly does family. We meet with him again next week, so we will discuss things further. I understand that some people are just out to make money, I understand that completly. And yes, I do think some doctors put you through un necessary things at times just to get more money, especially once they find out if you are on state assistance or not! Just thought I would add that remark! But by no means am I saying that all doctors are that way! Just like some attorneys will do anything to earn an extra buck, doesn't matter how much in the hole it will put you! I understand that too, but I am by no means saying ALL attorneys are that way! Thanks again you guys! I appreciate it..... I can't always get on here, so please feel free to email me any suggestions or even just a hello at [email protected] I am going to go now, and go to bed so I can be all rested up for tomorrow! My Daughter is turning 7!

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@Ticomaya,

That's exactly how I approach it, actually.

If I have a good doctor, I go ahead and agree after careful thought and research. If I have a bad doctor -- which I have -- I disagree.

There are good and bad lawyers and good and bad doctors (just as good and bad in any profession). Our job is to figure out which is which, and it's not always obvious.

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@Ticomaya,

Ticomaya wrote:

FreeDuck wrote:
Some lawyers are amoral ambulance chasers, but most are just doing a job in order to get paid. Just like me. Each person comes to each situation with their own interests. I'm not going to apologize for pointing out that other people don't necessarily have her best interests at heart and that she should consider what their interests are when deciding whether or not to take their advice.

I guess the same can be said about your doctor, right?

Yes.

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@mommieof3,

I'm glad you have a lawyer you can trust, mommieof3. That makes a big difference. Let us know how it goes.

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@sozobe,

That's true, soz. But while you often hear the advice "get a second opinion" with regard to a physician, you don't often hear, "because unless your doctor is a friend of yours his interest is in your money."

Just as there are good doctors who are genuinely interested in their patients and their health, there are good lawyers who are genuinely interested in the best interests of their clients. The assertion that a lawyer -- or any professional for that matter -- typically renders their advice out of selfish motives is repugnant to me ... and FD may not have intended such a sweeping generalization, but that's what I read.

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@Ticomaya,

lawyer bashing is popular.

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@dyslexia,

It is.

But I don't think it's what FreeDuck was doing. I agree that more is being read into it than what she actually said.

BUT... this seems to be a tangent. Glad that things are progressing well for you, mommieof3, and happy birthday to your kid!

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My mother in law keeps calling CPS on us

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