...or 'The First Noel'. Coz they're playing it right now.
'Born is the king of Is-rael'.
That just doesn't
sense. There wasn't an Israel. It was the Roman province of Judeah. And the king didn't order every baby boy killed (merry Christmas, my ass) as the Romans would crucified him as a senseless mass-murderer.
And they couldn't have gone to Egypt and back. It would have taken ages and what was Joseph gonna do on the way - not much call for carpentry out in the friggin' desert. The guy had a business to look after, doesn't say that 'Joseph the carpenter came back after 5 years in Egypt to find his workshop and house had been repossessed for not paying his rates'.
And Good King Wenceslas (that's on now). Why would anyone in Central Europe open their windows in the middle of Winter? Especially the king - why wasn't he 'kinging' someone else's wife... peasants, mules, bullshit