I Need a Cat Linguist...

"mew" = "hi, you haven't been paying quite enough attention to me, but I'll be polite about it and give you a chance to redeem yourself"

"meow" = "ahem, I need [attention, food, to go outside, etc] now"

"meow meow meow" = "I said NOW"

"meeoooww" = "you're a bit clueless, aren't you?"

they are complicated

tail position means alot.

Eye contact even more. Blinking during eye contact is the same as a hug

Nails ? out? not out?

Head butt? = love you enough to spread my scent.

bringing dead animals? = love you family member enough to feed you

Loud meow? = Pet me ******

Quiet meow? = im happy. leave me alone

Constant, even toned meow?= I need something

Purring? = you are doing it right human slave

Hissing ? = good luck with that.



just stick with a dog

No wonder I get "Meeooow" the most!

Cat Linguistics:


miaow = Feed me

mrooww = I love you

miaowmiaow = Play with me!

mioawmioawww = Since I cannot find anything better to play with, I shall see what happens when I sharpen my claws on this handy piece of furniture!

roww-maww-roww = I'm so glad to see that you have returned home with both arms full of shopping I will now rub myself against your legs and attempt to trip you as you walk towards the kitchen!

gakk-ak-ak = My digestive passages seem to have formed a hairball, wherever can that have come from? I shall leave it here on the carpet.

mmwww = I believe I have heard a burglar, if you would like to go and beat him senseless, I shall be happy to keep your spot in the bed warm!

Big Puss is the only one that does the head butt thingy. The little ones back away and look at me like "What the heck are you doing? Get outta my face." Big Puss is a male, the two little ones are only about 4 months old and female. Will they learn this or is it a male/ female thing?

Fortunately, the only hissing that takes place is when Gracie comes to visit, and Gracie isn't phased by it at all.

Can I assume then that "mrooww" backwards means "Spray me with that water bottle again and I'll scratch your eyes out!" ???

ha! yep yep yep...

then there is....

rrrow-miawwwww = I have remedied the cat box untidiness by shoveling the contents as far out of the box as was practical.

raowwwwwwww = I think I shall now spend time licking the most private parts of my anatomy.

mrowwwwwwwwwwwww = I am now recalling, with sorrow, that some of my private parts did not return with me from that visit to the vet.

mrowheheheheheeeeeeeow = I will now lick your face w'room!

I love cats and thought I understood them but the cat I have now gets weirder by the minute.

She's a dinky little thing - maybe 4 pounds, but full grown.

She stomps, yes, STOMPS, around the house. It's insane that she can walk so loud.

All she ever says is "Map. Map. Map. Map. Map."

When she's feeling affectionate she pushes her cheek up against your hand and chews on her tongue.

She's friken bizarre but she's got a great purr and you can dance to it.

So, you would give her a "10"?

Hmmm, stomping... Gotta love a puss with attitude.

re: pushing head against hand for a rub, when Lil Puss and Mooshi do that they then immediately walk away, come back, walk away, come back. I wanna yell "Do you want me to pet you or not?!!"

Why do they do that?

Perhaps they're merely asserting who is in control. They will be pet when THEY want to be pet, and ONLY when they want to be pet. If you were to come after them, they'd run off...

I make the pussy purr with
The stroke of my hand
They know they gettin' it from me

There's different kinds of hisses. I used to feed the stray cats at work, and Auntie Freeloader hissed at me every time. I decided this was kind of a conversational hiss, more or less equivalent "Good morning".

Body language is more important with cats than speech patterns, especially in regard to tail activity, as shewolf noted.

Some great explanations here - and all of them valid!

Basically - just pay attention - to various degrees.
If you do as is required - no-one will bleed!

most of cats is telepathic, and visual.

I am harboring a baby stray with all it's weapons, and my giant boy (sans front slashers) is not truly at one with the decision...

(the vocals are verra expressive)

dogs are for folks with no imagination...

Dink wanted to come home in a suitcase with the Brit! He told me! Guess we'll need another visit a?

Okay. I think I'm starting to get this.

My room is the coldest in the house, so I leave the door open for heat circulation. The cats think I leave it open for them.

I added another blanket to the bed last night. As I climb into bed Mooshi pounces from out of sight and BITES at my toes through the blankets. Startled, I jerk my feet away. She pounces again and tries to hold my feet in place as she BITES (like a lion tearing apart its prey) at the blankets. I jerk my feet away again. She pounces again. We do this for at least three minutes, and then she looks at me all disgusted and says "mrrreoooow!!" really loud.

I said, "Hey, ya wanna go for the big prey, expect some resistance. You can't just meow and expect the water buffalo to lay down."

She said, "Meow."

I said, "Yeah, Water Buffalo. Your ancestors, the sabbre tooths, didn't have dinner just show up in their dish every morning. They didn't even have a dish. And, when they wanted water they had to go like five hundred miles to find it!"

With that she hopped off the bed and walked out of the room, stopping at the door for only a second to look back at me.

Do you think I communicated with her appropriately?

vowels.

Funny guy, eh?

Then there's the

"ark" sound, somewhere between a bird chirp and a small dog, which means.

"stop moving around, you're getting me unsettled" or, if you've gotten up from the chair to get something to drink means "if you don't come back within 20 seconds, I'm going to forget you exist."