Warning - Health Alert for Women - Humourous

Health Alert for Women :

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you
sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or
pharmacist about Chardonnay.

Chardonnay is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident
about yourself and your actions. Chardonnay can help ease you out of
your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to
do just about anything!

You will notice the benefits of Chardonnay almost immediately, and with
a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent
you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will
discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start
living, with Chardonnay.

Chardonnay may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or
nursing should not use Chardonnay. However, women who wouldn't mind
nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may
include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness,
loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of
virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration,
dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of
Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

WARNINGS:
* The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to tell your friends over
and over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to think you can sing.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

Now just imagine what you could achieve with a good dry red or a nice Pinot Grigio!!!!!