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Warning - Health Alert for Women - Humourous

 
 
Mame
 
Reply Fri 14 Nov, 2008 11:16 am
Health Alert for Women :

Do you have feelings of inadequacy? Do you suffer from shyness? Do you
sometimes wish you were more assertive?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, ask your doctor or
pharmacist about Chardonnay.

Chardonnay is the safe, natural way to feel better and more confident
about yourself and your actions. Chardonnay can help ease you out of
your shyness and let you tell the world that you're ready and willing to
do just about anything!

You will notice the benefits of Chardonnay almost immediately, and with
a regimen of regular doses you can overcome any obstacles that prevent
you from living the life you want to live.

Shyness and awkwardness will be a thing of the past and you will
discover many talents you never knew you had. Stop hiding and start
living, with Chardonnay.

Chardonnay may not be right for everyone. Women who are pregnant or
nursing should not use Chardonnay. However, women who wouldn't mind
nursing or becoming pregnant are encouraged to try it. Side effects may
include dizziness, nausea, vomiting, incarceration, erotic lustfulness,
loss of motor control, loss of clothing, loss of money, loss of
virginity, delusions of grandeur, table dancing, headache, dehydration,
dry mouth, and a desire to sing Karaoke and play all-night rounds of
Strip Poker, Truth Or Dare, and Naked Twister.

WARNINGS:
* The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you are whispering
when you are not.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to tell your friends over
and over again that you love them.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may cause you to think you can sing.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may lead you to believe that ex-lovers
are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may make you think you can logically
converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
* The consumption of Chardonnay may create the illusion that you are
tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

Now just imagine what you could achieve with a good dry red or a nice Pinot Grigio!!!!!


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Type: Discussion • Score: 1 • Views: 1,018 • Replies: 13
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Joeblow
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Nov, 2008 11:25 am
@Mame,
I'm not sure why this is in humour. I swear by it. Razz
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Nov, 2008 11:26 am
@Joeblow,
Laughing Drunk
0 Replies
 
margo
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Nov, 2008 04:44 pm
@Joeblow,
It's in humour (or humor - if you must) because it's chardonnay. If a good red was involved - then it'd just be normal!
0 Replies
 
Francis
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Nov, 2008 04:47 pm
Ah! What one can do when one knows the right tools!
0 Replies
 
Joeblow
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Nov, 2008 04:56 pm
Ahaha Margo! Quite right.
0 Replies
 
Reyn
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Nov, 2008 06:28 pm
@Mame,
Ah, there you are! Been wanting to ask you how Calgary has been for you. Bloody cold.....or snow yet?
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Nov, 2008 08:07 pm
@Reyn,
Hey you... no snow yet... little bit of hail and a whole lot of wind, as usual, and chinooks coming every other day.

Was looking for property in Abbotsford and thought of you but knowing you are so shy I didn't contact you. Now you've lost your chance Smile
Reyn
 
  1  
Reply Fri 14 Nov, 2008 09:12 pm
@Mame,
Mame wrote:
Was looking for property in Abbotsford and thought of you but knowing you are so shy I didn't contact you. Now you've lost your chance Smile

Yes, I'm fairly much of a recluse and would be boring to talk to in person. Laughing

As you may, or may not know, we get a fair bit of outflow arctic winds here in the valley which cool it right down. We've had tons of rain day after day, which makes for typical weather for this time of year.

While you were still in BC, did you catch wind of the silly garbage issue proposal for the Metro Vancouver area? They want to build up to six (count 'em - 6!) plants in the area to due this, instead of trucking it up to the Cache Creek landfill. Of course, they say it will be all okay, but opposing opinions say it will create terrible conditions in the Fraser Valley, health and breatheing, etc.

We're hoping it doesn't go ahead. Apparently, the Liberal health minister isn't for it, as they don't think it'll be "green". I hope so, because if it does, it will be worse then the SE2 debacle from a while back.

Will be watching out for you here...
margo
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Nov, 2008 05:16 pm
@Mame,
Quote:
Was looking for property in Abbotsford and thought of you but knowing you are so shy I didn't contact you. Now you've lost your chance


Yikes - I live in Abbotsford.

You're coming here! Place for sale across the road. Expecting $AUS900,000 for it, roughly! Small, though - but the neighbours are good!
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Nov, 2008 07:54 pm
@margo,
Too late! I'm in Calgary now and just came out of the Western Conf Final - Calgary beat BC (by dumb luck) in a mediocre game, really.
0 Replies
 
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Nov, 2008 07:55 pm
@Reyn,
No, Reyn... I'll have to google that to get the latest. Cache Creek is a perfectly good repository for Vancouver's garbage Smile
0 Replies
 
Reyn
 
  1  
Reply Sat 15 Nov, 2008 08:18 pm
@margo,
margo wrote:
Yikes - I live in Abbotsford.

There's an Abbotsford in Australia?
margo
 
  1  
Reply Sun 16 Nov, 2008 08:50 pm
@Reyn,
Several....

I live in Sydney:
http://www.raywhitedrummoyne.com/buying_suburb_profiles.php

Abblotsford is the area you can see at the bottom of the map on this real estate agent's page.

There is also an Abbotsford in Melbourne, and, I believe, somewhere in Queensland.

Abbotsford in Sydney was apparently named after Sir Walter Scott's home, Abbotsford, in Scotland. (but this may not be correct - I can't find out where I found it)

One of Australia's famous poets lived here: Sit Henry Lawson.

There's a park names after him on the waterfront
http://k53.pbase.com/g4/79/116779/2/59851740.Abbotsford1_resize.jpg

Here's the Sailing Club:
http://www.abbotsfordsailingclub.org.au/images/OutsideView_sm.jpg

and the outside deck of the Sydney Rowing Club:
http://www.smh.com.au/ffximage/2008/03/17/SRC_080317024101480_wideweb__300x375.jpg
0 Replies
 
 

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