10
   

Sleepovers!

 
 
sozobe
 
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 10:31 am
My kid's about to have her first sleepover.

I had sleepovers all the time when I was a kid but as far as I can remember I actually SLEPT. We'd go to bed more or less at the usual time, then wake up and watch cartoons and stuff.

Some questions I have:

- Is it totally killjoy to make them go to sleep at a reasonable hour?
- What if they just DON'T? (I don't really want to set up a situation where I'm trying to enforce something unenforceable.)
- What else should I prepare for or watch out for?

Thanks!
 
Foxfyre
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 10:40 am
@sozobe,
Well my kids are of a different generation than yours but I doubt kids have changed all that much. When I went to sleepovers as a kid, we didn't intend to sleep and nobody made us. So we forced ourselves to stay awake until it just wasn't fun any more and then we slept.

Supervising lock-ins with the church youth it was pretty much the same. The counselors did not attempt to enforce a lights out, but did plan for something more quiet and settled by midnight--that was when we put on the movies--and eventually the kids would doze off.

Same for my son and daughter. I didn't enforce any bedtime though I did require that they settle down and do stuff more quietly so the rest of the household (Dad) could sleep. That policy generally helps to hurry up their own sleepiness a bit. Eventually they slept.

So I don't know that there are any hard and fast rules. I think maybe insisting they settle down and maybe watch a movie at a reasonable hour would be received better than insisting they go to sleep. Really young kids of course are more manageable toward that end than the older ones.
jespah
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 11:05 am
@Foxfyre,
As I recall from sleepovers, we didn't sleep until we were really tuckered out. Might be a good idea to enforce quiet time after a certain hour, so at least EG can get some rest. That might bring on actual sleep.
0 Replies
 
Tai Chi
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 11:09 am
And whatever you do, limit sugar and caffeine.
0 Replies
 
JPB
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 11:25 am
@sozobe,
How many kids and where are they going to be sleeping?

If they'll be sleeping in her room you can call lights out at some totally outrageous time (one to two hours past her regular bedtime). They may or may not go to sleep but at least the wandering around the house will be done with.

If they're sleeping in a family room, living room, or other central area then it's a little harder to get them to settle down.

Oh -- and there's oftentimes cases when one of the guests needs an emergency pick up during the settling down time because he/she wasn't quite ready for a sleepover, or isn't feeling well, or misses her cat, or....
TilleyWink
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 11:54 am
@JPB,

Always being the last one awake I suggest not interrupting to much until they are all tired out. I agree with JPB light out a couple of hours after regular bedtime and then let them laugh and giggle a bit before the first "lets quite down now". They will all eventually go to sleep but when I had sleep overs for my daughter I sort of let the soft talking go on until silence came upon the group.

Most importantly is be sure that the parents are there, on time and you should schedule a time as early as possible in the morning, to pick them all up. As you will be tired too.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 12:04 pm
@sozobe,
Sort of what everyone else here said. What seems to have worked with us (and we usually let them sleep in the living room pull out couch). At a certain time it is lights out/quiet time (or we put a small light on so they can see) - they can watch a movie or whatever, but they need to be quiet.

Usually that does the trick (especially for the kids under 10 or 11)- if it is dark enough and quieter, they will fall asleep. But it needs to be a little later than usual.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 12:17 pm
@sozobe,
Quote:

Is it totally killjoy to make them go to sleep at a reasonable hour?

- What if they just DON'T?
(I don't really want to set up a situation where
I'm trying to enforce something unenforceable.)

What if someone gets insomnia ?
0 Replies
 
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 12:18 pm
@JPB,
Thanks all! This is very useful. Haven't hit a real milestone/ brand-new experience in a while.

JPB, it will be just one girl, sozlet's best friend. It'll be her first sleepover too, so thanks for the reminder to be prepared for the possibility of mind-changing and last-minute pickup.

They will sleep in sozlet's room. I haven't actually thought this part through all the way yet -- I may get a twin air mattress and just put it next to sozlet's bed. Might need a sleeping bag too.

We don't have a specific date for the sleepover set yet. Backstory: sozlet likes me to be with her when she falls asleep. (Once she falls asleep I leave and she's fine for the rest of the night.) We've been trying to move her towards being able to fall asleep on her own for a while, since the fact that she needs me there limits things. Sleepovers are one, so as a motivation for her we agreed that if she went to sleep on her own for seven days (didn't have to be consecutive), the reward would be a sleepover. She did her seven days all in a row (the good part about bronchitis is that all that coughing makes me unpleasant to be around when she's trying to go to sleep! Wink). This morning I asked BF's mom if she (BF) could come over for a sleepover some Friday night. The mom said sure, that'd be great! So it'll happen soon, just not sure when yet.

OK, so consensus seems to be to set a bedtime a couple of hours past their usual one.

What about pick-up? What I remember from my own sleepovers was a fair amount of morning lounging -- breakfast, cartoons, etc. That sounds fine to me...
Foxfyre
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 12:28 pm
Yes, there may well be one or two who gets homesick. Hubby had one kid who got homesick on scout campouts and feigned being really sick so they would allow him to go home. It was a regular thing. He was fine until bedtime and then he just couldn't take it. Both the scout leaders and parents expected it so they could meet halfway to deliver the kid. (He's now a successful attorney with a bunch of kids of his own.)

The same phenomenon occurred every now and then at slumber parties at our house or when we kept other peoples' kids so their parents could get away. (We didn't take them home though. We called the parents to come get them, or if the parents weren't available, I usually had the lovely task of sitting with the kid until he or she fell asleep.)

The thing is, at any age its really exciting to have your friends stay over night and insisting they go to sleep is tough. None of us can sleep on demand when we're all excited or otherwise just don't feel like sleeping.

But, later than normal bedtime when the kids are naturally tired, get settled, heads down, and insist, as someone said, that talking and giggling be soft, usually results in normal, natural sleep pretty quickly.
0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 12:30 pm
@sozobe,
One other thing - they may end up sleeping together in the bed - I know my daughter and her friend did (even with her sister's bed available - sis slept in our room). Has this friend slept over any one else's house before? If she has, it is unlikely to have a problem, but you never know with the little ones.

And definately - give them as much time as possible together the next day. Pretty much whatever you can handle. We have had the kid(s) stay until early or even late afternoon before.

The difference may be that my daughters' friends all live far enough away that you need to drive so they don't get to play outside of school on a daily basis.
0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  -1  
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 01:03 pm
It might be wise to inquire to make sure that guests
are in a good state of health. A few years ago, when
I attended a convention in Upstate NY, an acquaintance
of mine hit me up to watch the hospitality suite
(where we kept food n drinks) between 12midnite and 2 a.m.
and awaken him for the 4 a.m. shift. He slept on the floor,
behind a table. Around 1 or 1:30 a.m., some conventioneers
entered and asked what was rong with that guy on the floor.
I said that he was asleep (not knowing that he was dead).
Thay asked me Y there was blood on the floor next to him.
I did not know. Police failed to revive him.

So, the moral of the story is:
maybe u shud know how healthy sleeping guests are.
Foxfyre
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 01:10 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
David, there is a HUGE difference between grade schoolers and drunken convention goers. Smile
CoastalRat
 
  3  
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 01:10 pm
This is an easy one. Set a time when you want no noise penetrating to your bedroom. If they want to stay up later than that, let them know you will allow it as long as you cannot hear them. If you have to get out of bed to shush them, then it will be lights out. There is no harm in letting them stay up until they decide to fall asleep as long as they are not disturbing the rest of the house.

0 Replies
 
OmSigDAVID
 
  0  
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 01:25 pm
@Foxfyre,
That convention "goer" was not drunk.
He was dead.
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 02:02 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
Yeah dead drunk!
OmSigDAVID
 
  0  
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 02:09 pm
@Linkat,
Quote:

Yeah dead drunk!

No, his family arrived the next day n buried him.
Thay wanted to bury him on the same day.
It woud have been bad if he had recovered sobriety below ground.

He sat next to me from 10 p.m. till midnite.
We were at a psychology seminar.
Having had him in my observation,
I know that he did not drink.

We were lucky that the hotel did not bill us for blood on the rug.
eoe
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 02:58 pm
@OmSigDAVID,
What does any of that have to do with a little girls' sleepover????
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Soz, I agree that it's just no fun if you try and enforce beddy-bye time. I can remember giggling into the wee hours.
CalamityJane
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 03:49 pm
@sozobe,
Sleepovers can be fun and can be tiresome, depending on who is sleeping over. We've had some girls up until 2:00 am giggling and going on everyone's nerves including my daughters'. Other kids are just very pleasant to be around. It's trial and error.

I tried to have them sleeping by midnight either in my daughter's queen size bed, or in sleeping bags whatever they preferred.

Usually I have the kids call their parents after breakfast to be picked up, but
more often the parents call themselves early in the morning to see how things were going.

0 Replies
 
Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Mon 3 Nov, 2008 04:07 pm
@eoe,
Yeah make sure they don't get into the alcohol.
 

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