Comfort - need it - having panic attacks.....

like I said, that is how I myself deal with things. you do not have to do that, its just how I do it. and in a way it is a way to control your thoughts and emotions, and yet still be in touch with them, and its not "robotish", being a robot is to be devoid of emtions all together, and believe it or not that is not who I am. I just keep my feelings at arms legnth as it were.

Didn't mean you were ep. If it works for you that is good. I agree that it is hard to understand over the web. I do understand you were trying to help...and I appreciate that. I am sure I would understand better if I could see it in action. Words sometimes aren't enough! Thanks again.

thank you. I hope I have been of some help, it is the least I can do.

Oh, mis-, panic attacks, really? I'm afraid I'm all too familiar with them myself. Won't bore you with details but know that I know what it feels like. There's a lot of good advice here. Breathing slowly, excellent. And remember "this too shall pass." It really will. Sometimes we have to live life getting through it moment by moment at a time, but get through it you do.
Wish we had e-mail addresses. Iz- has mine if you want to drop me a line. Trust me, I've been there. And I'm sure it's been said, but focus on the positives.
I made a journal of stuff that makes me happy and look at it in bad times. It helps ... Remember things like ... your kids, special times, special things / keepsakes, smells, tastes, sounds...! Thinkin' of you, mis- ((((mismi))))

Thank you Dev..I will e-mail Iz and have her e-mail you. I miss her today. Thoughts and prayers are with you all...
much love (((DEV)))

I think we're going to have to find the thread where littlek learned to knit.

you both have mail

Good morning mismi. Hope today finds you with smiles.

got it sweety..thank you!

Alex - I am quite chipper this morning. Thank you very much. Hope you are having a good day as well.

That would be great. My quilting does not require counting...I can think way too much while doing it.

Thanks, JP, got it! Got an e-mail out to you & I'll be e-mailing you too, mis-. Don't want to infringe or anything, but I've got experience with the 'siteration' from a personal and professional standpoint - if it helps at all. (((mismi)))
Glad to hear you're feeling better today!

I have always identified with you through your posts. I was asking the same questions untill recently and also Who am I really?What is the purpose of my life? and how to find true happiness?
Writing on A2K was part of that quest.
I have found the answers. It was through a educational program " Landmark Education" It is education about yourself, unlike the education you have gotten so far.
One of my friends who recommended it had anxiety which disappeared after the program. I enrolled my two nieces who , they are thrilled and one of them ( she is 21) said I am sleeping so much better after it.
The program enables you to be powerfull and live a self fullfilled and joyfull life regardless of your circumstances. I strongly believe you will find answer to all of your questions and much more, because you discover what you don't know that you don't know about yourself.
What I learned is that life itself is empty and meaningless. There are things that happen and then there are stories we create and then we live in those stories. Once you get the empty and meaningless part you can create a clearing where anything can happen. This is strong and rigorous work though. So far who you are is a product of your past and who you will be will be dictated by your past unless you create a future not constrained by your past.
My misery, complaints and issues have disappeared.
I am truly joyful, passionate and my creativity is coming back after about 15 years. My nieces did the Landmark Forum because they say they saw a new peaceful me.
My husband would be the greatest critic of any such thing especially if it involves money, he enrolled today for the Forum in November.
Check it out at www.landmarkeducation.com
No, I am not getting a toaster or anything by talking about it !!!!

Thank you Dev...e-mailing you back sister. Long day ...though I am crazily enough - okay - I do believe the busier I am the better I am. Manic.

Dr. Mom - thank you - I am looking at your link and will read though and let you know. It sounds wonderful. I am so glad it has given you peace of mind.

I should have that...there is not reason not to. I have everything I need. Just going through a phase and faltering in my faith a bit methings!

Hugs y'all
missy

I am sorry to hear about your panic attacks, mismi. I never had them so I
cannot relate, but when there is too much stress in my life, I try to have
more "me time". Soak in the tub, have a pedicure and foot rub, take a walk
on the beach and so on. It usually helps.

You're a busy Mom with three demanding boys and a husband who travels.
Your father is seriously ill, and I can imagine that he's been your rock for
such a long time, you feel, if something happens to your father, the carpet
is pulled off underneath you. All these feelings are normal, you just have
to find a way to channel them and find an outlet to release this anxiety.

Someone mentioned yoga which is an excellent idea. I remember that after my very first yoga lesson I felt like a new mensch. You won't believe how
much it helps in stress situations like yours.

Nite, Feather.

Clear yer head 'fore bed, and go to sleep in a happy place...

(I know, sounds simple )

Do you know of Stuart Smalley?

Thanks for aknowledging my Post with it's grammer and spelling mistakes. I am honored.
As you find your way to true peace and happiness, remember to truly own all of your feelings but remember your feelings and emotions are not you. You can observe your thoughts and feelings which means you are not your thoughts and feelings. I think the key is not trying to ignore your feelings but allowing yourself to fully experience whatever it is that you are feeling and remebering not to identify yourself with your feelings.
As human beings we make meanings out of everything that happens to us. Of all the living creatures we are the only ones capable of creating suffering. for example if a dog gets runover by a truck and loses a limb , would there be any suffering? No, Pain , yes momentarily , limping yes, shorter lifespan maybe but there will be no suffering. Imagine if it happened to a humanbeing it is very likely that the rest of life will be spent suffering.
During my Landmark forum we did a " Disappearance" exercise where you write your story with all the misery complaints and everything and read to another attentive partner and watch the misery disappear. I was the last one to get it but I did get it finally.
My story consisted of how I am not getting any emotional support from my husband, not being recongnized for everything I do, him focusing on money and ignoring his health and his family. Then I separated facts from my story and at the end I was left with the fact that my Husband is concerned about finances. Rest was all my story or interpretation around it which was creating suffering. As long as somebody , or it or the circumstances have the power to make you upset you will continue to feel trapped by your circumstances.
So if you are not your feelings or emotions or thoughts who are you, you are your word, or you are who you say you are. At the end of our advance course every body had to declare the act they are leaving which is running their life bccause if I am ther drama queen then to survive my life needs to have drama or I will not survive.
So I said, Who I am is the possibility for Joy and vitality and the act that I am leaving is " I don't know who I am"
Several times during the day I am reminded of my words and my act tries to take over but I say I will live by my word and only I have the power to do it.
Gotta go and listen to my son read " Search for Delicious"
I am in Duluth, MN with my husband for a month where he is working on a project. He was getting sick of travelling every weak and I was overwhelmed so I created this possibility of being with him, enjoying and learning Duluth with the kids for a month, a few months ago this would not have been possible.
I do not know if I am making any sense but I am honestly sharing myself ,please let me know if some clarification is needed.

Thanks Jane - I am going to be fine. I am doing my best effort of following good advice. Seeking my faith diligently and breathing, one step at a time. Slow and easy basking in kind support of friends. When I feel anxiety coming on I have managed to find something to do, besides take Lortab. ;-)

Thank you dear Rock. I appreciate that. I slept well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvgMIerTXl4
Of course I know Stuart Smalley -
"I'm good enough, I'm smart enough and doggone it, people like me"
new mantra ;-)

It sounds great Dr. Mom - I try not to notice other peoples typos - since I have so many of my own! No problem

maybe some clarification, but apart from that, however I like that thought that "your feelings and emotions are not you"- I think that this is very important, in order to survive life itself. do not let your emotions consume you, rather, forget them sometimes and simply indulge in the pleasures of life. then, make your way back to your troubles, so as to destroy them once and for all!

I think that is the most important thing I learned too that my feelings are not me. I wish I had gotten it earlier but I am glad I got it now.
As far as indulging in pleasures and going back to the troubles is concerned I think what we call troubles are stories we generate around things that happen.
My husband is too concerned about money , he is not enjoying life , he is always chasing something, in the process he is ignoring me and the kids. Asking me to work outside the home so I can be like him too!!
This is the story my Act has created around the fact that my Husband is currently concerned about finances.
As long as I live in my story It has all the power. The pay offs are that I am the victim so I can't /won't do anything. The costs are my aliveness and joy. The moment I separate fact from my story I have to be responsible for my and my family's happiness which is hard but more fruitful.
When you live powerfully somehow the need to indulge disappears because I think the concept of indulgence exists in the realm of labor, misery, being overwhelmed, which is the world of survival. What if every moment of my life was a moment of my choice and not determined by circumstances, what would I indulge in and why?

Yes.
U need to discriminate qua what feelings are good enuf
for u to allow into your consciousness.
Some say that "energy follows thought."
" Take the best and leave the rest." (Marilyn Lutz)

I saw something on TV that might sometimes be helpful:
a woman was near suicidal qua the memory of a rape,
and an ex-soldier also was near suicidal qua old battle memories.
Their psychologist asked them to think of the offensive events
while watching his fist moving diagonally from the victims'
high left down to their low right.

Thay both said that a few treatments of that (does not cost much)
had the effect of relieving them and curing them of their mental pain.

Another device that I employed successfully about 30 years ago
to an emotionally painful memory of something that I failed to do,
that I shoud have done:
with my mind, I made it hurt as much as possible,
instead of pushing it away; so to speak, giving it a bear hug.

The emotional pain vanished and never returned.

That remedy does not cost much either; no Rx needed.





David