Too late! I'm not sure if I should have added markers to the dialog, but:
SP: Good evening my fellow Americans. I was so excited when I was told that Senator Clinton and I would be addressing you tonight.
HC: And I though I'd be addressing you alone.
SP: Now, I know it must be a little strange for all of you to see the two of us together with me being JM's running mate--
HC: --And me being a fervent supporter of Senator Barack Obama, as evidenced by the button.
SP: But, tonight we are crossing party lines to address the ugly role that sexism is now playing in the campaign.
HC: An issue that I am frankly surprised to hear that people suddenly care about.
SP: You know, Hillary and I don't agree on everything--
HC--anything. I believe that diplomacy should be the cornerstone of any foreign policy.
SP: And I can see Russia from my house.
HC: I believe that global warming is caused by man.
SP: And I believe that it's just god huggin' us closer.
HC: I don't agree with the Bush Doctrine.
SP: (laughing) I don't know what that is...
HC: But Sarah, one thing we can agree on is that sexism can never be allowed to permeate an American election.
SP: So, please stop photo-shopping my head on sexy bikini pictures.
HC: And stop saying I have cankles
SP: Don't refer to me as a MILF.
HC: And don't refer to me as a FLERGE(?). I googled what it stands for and I do not like it.
SP: Reporters and commentators, stop using words that diminish us like pretty, attractive, beautiful--
HC: --harpy, shrew (pause), boner-shrinker.
SP: While our politics may differ, my friend and I are both very tough ladies. You know, it reminds me of a joke we tell in Alaska. What's the difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull?
HC: Lipstick....lipstick....lipstick. There ya go.
SP: Just look how far we've come. Hillary Clinton who came so close to the White House and me, Sarah Palin, who is even closer. Can you believe it, Hillary?
HC: (strangled noise). I can not!
SP: It's truly amazing. And I think women everywhere can agree that no matter your politics, it's time for a woman to make it to the white house--
HC: oooooooh! Mine! It's supposed to be mine! I'm sorry, I need to say something. I didn't want a wman to become president. I wanted to become president. And I just happen to be a woman. I don't want to hear you compare your road to the white house with my road to the white house. I scratched and clawed through mud and barbed wire (Palin is mugging for photos and waving to crowd members). And you just glided in on a dogsled wearing your pageant sash and your Tina Fey glasses.
SP: (inaudible to me). What an amazing time we live in. To think that just 2 years ago I was a small-town mayor of Alaska's crystal meth capitol and now I am just one heart-beat away from being the president of the United States! It just goes to show that ANYONE can be president--
HC: --anyone! anyone. anyone!
SP: All you have to do is want it.
HC: (laughing hysterically) Oho, yeahhahaha. Yeah. You know Sarah, looking back, if I could change one thing, I probably should have wanted it more. Hahahaha....
SP: So, in the next 6 weeks, I invite the media to be vigilant for sexist behavior.
HC: Although, it is never sexist to question female politicians' credentials. Please ask this one about dinosaurs. In conclusion, I invite the media to grow a pair. And if you can't, I will lend you mine.
Then they do LIVE FROM NY....