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Tue 12 Aug, 2008 08:55 pm
I know there must be some females here who have been in my situation.
I would like to hear from you if you are comfortable discussing this topic.
I had my yearly tests and the mammo came back with the worst news. "Suspicious mass, recommend biopsy". There are some calcifications, which the surgeon told me could be because the body tries to seal off an injury or a foreign object (cyst or whatever) so that doesn't mean it is the big "C". But I won't know until they do the biopsy on Aug 19 and I have never been so frightened in my life. The cyst is 2 cm by 1.5 cm. I don't feel anything at all. No changes are seen on the breast outwardly.
No family history of breast cancer, I don't smoke or drink, but am thinking of starting.
Just want to crawl in a hole and hide
but wherever I go, there I am.
Bathsheba, Ima guy, so I am not truly able to grasp your situation, but I do understand the fear of the unknown, and mystery lumps.
Some of my A2K ladyfriends will be by shortly, I promise...
Rock
Thanks, Rock, for replying. Lucky you, being a guy (in this case
)
Good thing I'm typing because my hands are shaking pretty bad.
Bathsheba
Hang in there, Bathsheba. Everything is going to be ok.
(where the hell are the womenfolk?)
I don't know.
I think the word "breast" caught the attention of the men.
I should have worded the topic differently, eh?
I don't really know the statistics, but a lot of these biopsies turn out negative. Mine (again, calcifications) turned out positive but an early 'catch'. I'm just fine seven years later. I don't think we're ever the same, even if the biopsy turns out to be negative, it's a real waker-upper. Seriously scary. But also life can be oddly rich, after the fright is contained.. whether it's positive or negative, rich in a lot of ways - shifting of perspectives, appreciations of beauties of everyday life. That's sounds all philosophical but I mean it in immediate practical terms. Almost like we were asleep in some way before.
Hang in there..
Maybe you're onto something there.
Or maybe the women are just slower readers than the men.
I asked around, there are som femms still aboot...
(I was late because my Mac did one of its weird routines, and I had to start over with a long post... thus the short one.)
I know at least one other person here who had a biopsy for calcifications and it turned out negative.
So. Bathsheba, we'll be whistling along with you.
Bathsheba - calm down, take a deep breath. It could be something or it could be nothing. You won't know until after the 19th. So stop worrying about it. Really, don't add to your stress. Try to put it from your mind.
By the way, I had a benign lump removed about 12 years ago, so you see, it really could be nothing.
Hang in there, chickie, and report back!
Thanks, gus and Rock, for trying to round up the ladies.
Osso, I'm so glad to hear you're doing well after 7 years! Do you mind sharing what the biopsy was like? Does it hurt?
And treatment afterwards? Radiation, or?
Bathsheba
Mame wrote:Bathsheba - calm down, take a deep breath. It could be something or it could be nothing. You won't know until after the 19th. So stop worrying about it. Really, don't add to your stress. Try to put it from your mind.
By the way, I had a benign lump removed about 12 years ago, so you see, it really could be nothing.
Hang in there, chickie, and report back!
Thank you Mame for your kind words. Hard to be calm. I go from absolute terror to numb. It's the not knowing that's hard.
Why oh why do doctors make us wait so long? My vet is faster than this. This is torture.
BTW I just had both ovaries removed end of Feb this year for a benign cyst. I had to go through the 'is it benign or not' then, so it's deja vu for me. This is getting old........
Taking deep breaths....and will let you know what happened.
Bathsheba
I think all the A2K ladies are away.
I don't really have any advice having not experienced such things myself but I am in the midst of some scary medical stuff with someone I love so I'm happy to pad my shoulder with sympathy and listen.
Most of the people I know who do have experience in this will tell you what you've already heard here -- usually it isn't cancer. Try to relax. I know it is easier said than done.
Sometimes you just have to put on your ****-kickers and kick the ****.
I understand shaking hands.
I don't know you well enough Bathsheba to know what to say about how to deal between now and the biopsy. I went shopping. (Only half kidding. I was visiting Los Angeles, from the small town where I lived up north, and I hit the thrift shops and met with friends, and at night, I buried myself in mysteries, which isn't usually hard to do but harder then.) I'm not religious so I was very dependent on my friends and myself. My old home area where I was visiting/seeing the doctor was near the beach, so I did a lot of walking.
Do you have family around?
boomerang wrote:I think all the A2K ladies are away.
I don't really have any advice having not experienced such things myself but I am in the midst of some scary medical stuff with someone I love so I'm happy to pad my shoulder with sympathy and listen.
Most of the people I know who do have experience in this will tell you what you've already heard here -- usually it isn't cancer. Try to relax. I know it is easier said than done.
Sometimes you just have to put on your ****-kickers and kick the ****.
I am sorry to hear you're going through a stressful time, boomerang.
Do you want to share about it? I'd be a good listener.
Putting on the ****-kicking boots........
Bathsheba
Bathsheba, Ima fold out now, but I promise that tomorrow you will meet more of the ladies.
It is late on a stressful day.
Best of to you till then, (and thanks to the 3 of yas)
RH
(hugs)
ossobuco wrote:I understand shaking hands.
I don't know you well enough Bathsheba to know what to say about how to deal between now and the biopsy. I went shopping. (Only half kidding. I was visiting Los Angeles, from the small town where I lived up north, and I hit the thrift shops and met with friends, and at night, I buried myself in mysteries, which isn't usually hard to do but harder then.) I'm not religious so I was very dependent on my friends and myself. My old home area where I was visiting/seeing the doctor was near the beach, so I did a lot of walking.
Do you have family around?
Well, I guess it's time I introduce myself! I just turned 55. My hubby and I moved to Canada fulltime as citizens 3 years ago but have been here part time 8 years from the States. We have friends here, not a lot because we're in a very isolated area and the 'big' town is a 20km drive. And no, our daughters and the rest of the family are in the States.
I take long walks in the forest with my dogs, rain or shine, but can't seem to settle down into reading, although I usually love to read. It's just a dang hard time to get through, no way around it.
You don't want to hear about my biopsy. I had gotten the suspicious mammogram the day before and, knowing that hospital nearby like the back of my hand, since I used to work there, bullied my way in to the Breast Cancer Center to schedule a biopsy, since I didn't know from nothin' about my new area up north, and had a glum view of its potential re med centers. It was a horrendo day - 9/11/01. My gynecologist, who told me about getting the needle biopsy, had two friends in the Towers. Well, I won't elaborate, horrible day, but I got in because of cancellations and had a lot of waiting, and trying not to shake.
I had further surgery (though not radical) which was a piece of cake compared to the situation that day. As to hurting, well, they give you a local, if you have the same kind of biopsy I did. I had trouble lying still, to be truthful, but my having to wait was exceptional due to the day and the harried m.d. on the scene.
I was staying at an old neighbor's/friend's house. I got back and told him about my situation. He told me about the possibly cancerous spot on his bald head (turned out not to be), and fixed me a Calpirinha, however you spell that, a Brazilian drink. Ptui. So I asked if he had any scotch. I poured that over ice and, avoiding the tv, went up to bed with my italian police procedural mystery. And connected with other friends through the week.
Uh, you might want a day or two off to treat yourself to some friend time, or something to take care of yourself, your sense of yourself.
Thanks. You're sweet but my boots are so filthy that I've been exiled from polite society for the time being. Let's just worry about you here.
Stick your elbows out and practice saying "I'm not leaving until I get an answer." I'm typically pretty pacific but I'm learning to be a health care bully.
Frankly, finding your inner bully can feel pretty good.
Practice squinting. Don't forget staring.