Teachers -- school me in "verbal"

I think you should send the report to the teacher, highlighted with what you think is important. Set up a time to meet with her, as soon as possible. If you feel she isn't following through or being responsive, meet with the principal.

Baut, SQuinney's right, without an IEP, no teacher is legally obligated to handle Mo differently than his or her other kids. If the teacher is good, she or he will do what they can to do so, however.

Time is so short I'm not sure I want to just start with the teacher, I'm not planning on being confrontational about it (yet, and hopefully I won't ever need to be).

How about this:

This is who I am and this is who Mo is.

I had him tested blahblahblah.

Here is a copy of the report that says that it isn't ADHD but it is blahblahblah.

I've highlighted some specific areas of the report that relate to school so that you can find them easily.

I look forward to meeting with you to discuss how we can best work together to meet his needs blahblahblah.

But it's the teacher who is going to have him all day. I don't know that involving the principal right now will be effective. maybe that's because my last principal was just plain ineffective. It sounds like you'll want him to have regular visits with the school psych...? If you want things in his class room to be in a certain way, give his teacher a copy. If you want him to have access to the school psych, have a copy sent to him or her.

Most kids get the help they need without parental help. Some kids get more help than they need with parental help. Some kids get best service with parental help. But, most kids don't start the school year with best service. Every new year/teacher involves a new learning curve.

Boomer, I still don't know what you want of the school. I would add more detail about what you're hoping to achieve. Do you want him to see specific specialists like the OT, the Psych, the sped department? Do you want him to have a privacy space inside the classroom to disengage in? Do you want him front and center where he can feel close to the teacher?

The problem is, littlek, is that I don't really know what's best. I don't have any experience with this. I'm hoping they will know and they will work with Mo and me to find out what is most effective. The report doesn't make such specific recommendations except for a few "don'ts"

The principal at Mo's school is GREAT!

I read up and saw that the report itself did have some things to say. I am trying to think of any kids in the elementary schools who had team meetings with out having IEPs. They don't happen often (if at all) unless they are the first steps in developing an IEP. The reason: there simply isn't that much time and scheduling people for IEP meetings is hard. If there is no legal reason to hold team meetings, they are even harder to schedule.

Maybe I'm just having a poopity head outlook.

It really is all very confusing. Mo goes to one of the best public schools in Portland. I get the feeling that they are pretty responsive.

My neighbor has a son with Asperger's so I've been tapping her for some advice. She told me that since I have an evaluation from the CDC at OHSU that I shouldn't have any trouble getting them to pay attention.

Fingers crossed.

Good luck! And let us know what happens.

I'm probably completely delusional.

What do you mean?

In thinking that I can get cooperation without having to turn into a raging bitch.

I can't really see you becoming a raging bitch.

Oh I can do it but I learned a long time ago that it's ineffective and usually counter-productive.

Now I know to shut up, sit still, and let the other person talk themselves into helping me.

That way I get what I want and the other person gets to feel good about it.

good plan!

Well here goes nothin'....

Assuming getting something to everyone was better than agonizing over what to get to whom, I took the principal, teacher and psychologist all the exact same packet of information: a cover letter and a highlighted version of the report.

I hate being crunched for time.

I understand that you want to step into this year on good footing. But, try not to worry so much about time (easier said from a teacher's perspective, I know).

I'm sure you're right, littlek. I'm such a fretter and seeing Mo already so upset about having to go to school is distressing.

He is so worried they are going to make him sit off by himself again this year. I showed him the report -- it said twice that having done that was a bad idea and that it is imperative that it not happen again. That seemed to calm him down a bit.

Getting off on the right foot will be really important.

When is the big day? Kids went back this past Monday here.

School starts a week from tomorrow.

He's woken up several days over the last month crying about having to go back.

You shouldn't hate school in the second grade, should you? I thought that came later.

Nah, it can happen at any age. Last year's teach was particularly troubling to him, no? So, this year's teacher can't be worse, right? Once he goes, I bet he starts to enjoy himself again.