Messy feelings (uncut unedited)

Reply Sat 24 May, 2008 02:51 pm
Telling my story the way I see/feel it. Original and unedited, don't be too critical I'm just looking to open up. Welcome to bring your side of the story. Its a messy feelings' corner.
Reply Sat 24 May, 2008 02:54 pm
bliss was the original intention
sleepless nights, pounding heart
did so much, can't start to mention
long road, lost my perfection
exhausted, driven by your affection
opened my heart, didn't use protection
couldn't have, you were my armour

in the quest of happiness
an illusion humanity pursue
transiently existing between pain
a fantasy we overrate
soreness we shield our kids from
denying we are more prone

traded my petite delight
in return for a perfect metaphysical construct
delusion made by our minds
consequently forcing them to self destruct
build a fort, left the foe inside
felt secure, that's our pride

gave up myself
for a pathetic life
called her my future wife
let her hand-held my heart
forgot she also had a knife
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Reply Sat 24 May, 2008 03:11 pm
Re: Messy feelings (uncut unedited)
mngunim wrote:
Telling my story the way I see/feel it. Original and unedited, don't be too critical I'm just looking to open up. Welcome to bring your side of the story. Its a messy feelings' corner.

I feel you have talent. I would like to see this work edited.
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Reply Sat 24 May, 2008 03:14 pm
To my twin-sister

saw you in my dream last night
seemed so really
wanted to hold your hand
you were with me
you smiled with me
that was enough

gave me a morning dose of love
enough to last the whole day
didn't kneel and pray
thanking God for your stay
opened up the door
let you in
didn't see you leave
it makes me believe you with me

I had doubts
all seemed right
my flesh was weak
couldn't see a way forward
you gave me courage
like mom use to do with porridge
told me you were here to fix things
used my own words
for once they worked against me

when you departed
I couldn't cry, you had my feelings
I was born to you
Should have said I love you, but you were part of me
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Reply Sat 24 May, 2008 03:17 pm
Thanks Edgar.... This is my only platform where I can share.. Greatly appreciated.
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Reply Wed 28 May, 2008 05:34 pm
back to my girl... :wink:

a stroll around with my peers
thought I was a man
watched each other closely
even had plan
never give her your heart
don't take that turn

kept my focus
making sure not to give in
move your heart from the action
don't lose yourself to passion
it's meant to be nothing but a session
she's just a number not an obsession

whipped with no stand
you are a man, she understands
my heart fell, trying to pretend
you are nothing but a friend

it hurtsÂ…. not that whining
got me thinking and dreaming
she's on my mind, even when I'm drinking
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Reply Sat 31 May, 2008 02:15 pm
unfinished paintings
not worth a dime
but the possibility
oh! the possibility!
to become exceptional
when done it's taken

just met you, can we pause
you are attractive, don't get close
might get weak and disclose
the possibility, don't exhaust
walk away and stay perfect
getting closer we might reject
in transit, loose respect
of us and reach potential

fragmentary memory is ideal
details block imagination
slaughtering the art of the satisfying possibility
oh again that possibility!
presented by unfinished business
let's leave now and possess
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Reply Sat 31 May, 2008 02:30 pm
best performance is given live
one take, like in real life
resembling bees on their hive
giving it all for that five
minutes you took to rage
it can't be hard you not on stage

anyone join me, let's do it live. Together we won't reach the potential and have nothing to look forward to. I'm no poet myself just speaking my mind. Just post your piece.
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Reply Thu 5 Jun, 2008 11:33 am
venting out to the night
streets, quite and right
rhythmic beat, evaporated
quietness, all that's left
somehow I feel its rhythm
for even pain has a beat
started shaking to its mental vibe
only thing missing is a rhyme
to go with it maybe a drum

when stress overwhelmed me
fought back with force
should have killed my fierce
it captured my strength
leaving only the last breath
sufficient to keep me on earth

when I suffered such pain
felt weak and in vain
complained about him or her
solitary things I can't help
became deaf to a verse
that phrase of praise
crafting me to appreciate pain
for it keeps me in this lane
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Reply Thu 5 Jun, 2008 03:57 pm
she told me about him
smiled, told her to hold on
looked at her lips, such a turn on
heart going wild, had to set a cordon
she's so beautiful, he's such a moron

thought about me and what I've been
beautiful gems I let pass
claiming they weren't in my class
thought about the next guy online
probably thought they were fine
never knowing they use to be mine

her beauty makes my mind forget
act a saint, not recall a pervert
with her I will not revert
my terms are filled with such
self promises not kept
I'm getting weak better avert

what do humans need
nubile body for their greed
to touch and to kiss
as they pass in ultra-speed
they aim not to keep
just a number down their belts
it matters not who gets hurt
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Reply Thu 5 Jun, 2008 10:41 pm

I was going to say I enjoy your work, but it wouldn't be strictly truthful.
Much of it is so painfilled and dark that "enjoy" just isn't the word.

Perhaps I am trying to say I admire your courage, both in getting it out and in putting it out there.

You express yourself well.
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Reply Sat 7 Jun, 2008 12:39 pm
Thanks Spike. I only started writing a few months back (still got that madness and pain to vent out). I don't know if the darkness is gonna change though. I appreciate your feedback, a lot. Very Happy
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Reply Tue 10 Jun, 2008 12:48 pm
reminiscent of a rainbow
no artistic intentions, no eager to amaze
it struck our vision, got blinded and dazed
got ancient philosophers' attention
writers couldn't start to mention
scientists puzzled with its reflection
got atheists' appreciation
calling it God's perfection

beauty more profound
quiet yet sound
elicited makes you bound
committing your mind
to such a beautiful making

I wasn't faultless, neither was she
lived my life, she got impressed
went on a date, left her depressed
walking down the street, she was watching
turned the corner, she started snitching
to her heart, hoping I was wishing
to get closer and start touching
her soft fragile heart and be gentle

she didn't know love yet it was engraved in her face
her friends said it was just a phase
stared at her eyes it wasn't a haze
tight hug before a night with the boys
concern came from her voice
as she told me to rejoice

she wanted to be close maybe pinned
to me and have someone to share life with
only she was seventeen
could have let her, I wasn't in my teens
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Reply Sat 14 Jun, 2008 10:27 am
I knew love not this
fell more than my brain recalls
closed my eyes saw the words
coming down in delight like the lords
nicely written, a puzzling cord
only I understood, not even the Gods
erased the tape and the wrongs
single life changing lap

I knew love not this
it's a feeling possibly with a kiss
making you fall without getting hit
feeling good though down
bringing her breakfast in her gown
loving her eyes and every frown
forehead stroke at dawn
safe at her lap

I knew love not this
tender voice followed by an image
only this one is less clear
how I would love to gaze and leer
as her eyes get filled with divine fear
adore and touch her tear
give her heart an emotional slap

I knew love not this
adoring a person you have met
not a stranger from the net
she calls me to chat
her profile is the only thing I could vet
waiting for a chance I might never get
meet her, maybe amaze
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Reply Sun 15 Jun, 2008 08:22 pm
This is the third original poem I've read on this site that very nearly tore my heart out. (not to degrade the rest. Some just hit you hard.)

It feels like such a gift, that a total stranger can/would share their feelings so.

Perhaps it's because so much can be condensed into the poetry form.

Whatever it is, I feel more in touch with humanity because I can spit out my stuff and read stuff like the above from a source I have no other connection with.

It just makes me so aware of that common bond of all humanity.
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Reply Sun 15 Jun, 2008 09:43 pm
Interesting. I like the way you write your poems - there are such strong emotions emerging from it, yet the style you choose to word your pain is kind of no-frills, matter-of-fact.
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Reply Tue 17 Jun, 2008 11:30 am
Yeah. It really does help to know you are not the only one in any situation. Thanks Spike and Jane, your feedback is well welcome and means a lot.
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Reply Sat 21 Jun, 2008 02:59 pm
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Reply Mon 23 Jun, 2008 04:29 pm
just witnessed sunset
amazing colour change, stunning rays
shinning reflection on my sight stays
as the cold breeze invades, time to part ways
the performance has ended
stage and lights have faded
what's left of me

we were great, reality strikes
face it and feel the spikes
intoxicated by emotions and mood hikes
(again) allowed the present to shield my sight
tussled back a second and lost the fight
despite my feelings she only gave me one bite
it's not just me, this feels right
nibbling on what's so fine yet not mine
take away blare memory, what's left for me

for a minute I had you like a kite
flying on my skies, reaching great heights
next second turned into a night
so dark, my heart filled with doubt
like gravity you still held me tight
wanted to let go, the feelings were hard to fight
you look strong, what's left of me

she's in bliss, it's no joke
one part wanna leave another is curious
got me paralysed and tough, it's a stroke
each time she leaves my heart a note
I keep saying like a quote
should have known and kept my distance
it's too late she knows my weak side
her voice finds me it's absurd to hide
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Reply Sat 28 Jun, 2008 06:13 am
a child away from home
every night was like a dome
only this one was more alone
can still smell echo from that gap
touch the chill with every nap
life was cruel, you were not in the map
you came around my heart sang
just for a day, felt nice to hang
held you close before you left
starred at your back drifting away
(still recall my bedroom window facing the driveway)
silently yelled I love you

kept your pic in my heart
with time it started to hide
thought of you, my soul cried
its tears weathered my being
on that country, I wasn't a king
those you appointed for guardian
to shield and protect, this lad on this flight
started to doubt their verdict
to wail I became an addict
litheness had to evict
though feeble it was my lane
my destiny was to reign

called it loneliness, felt miserable
you were more frail and unstable
kept a smile every inch you sank
your world harsher than a fang
more committed than a nun
gentle pat, called me your last-born son
said I love youÂ…..I love you(?)
after all you have done
only three words for your crown
somehow they cleanse every frown
you deserve more than that gown
stand up and shine
all I have thanks to your time
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