Lessons Learned...Stupid Things We Do..

If you want to iron a shirt and don't have an ironing board available,
it is not a good idea to use a linoleum floor.

Not that I would.

I'm just sayin.

alex, I was picturing YOU in the washing machine

Of course, the delicate cycle.

Has anybody made coffee, without pouring out the old?

no, that hasn't happened yet - I take it you did that recently?

In my defense, both chambers( water and finished coffee) are stainless. Not transparent.

It's a good defense.

I delayed an aircraft and the pilot had to determine if I could stay on the flight. That was pretty stupid of me

btw the pilot let me stay on the flight

never trust ANY human being ever.

Modern carpeting doesn't work, either. It's some kind of plastic, and it melts.

The guy at the hardware store, told me to use a regular household iron, to repair my linoleum seam. I did not attempt.

Took bird out of the refrigerator. Washed, padded dry, seasoned, plated, opened oven door, placed on middle rack, closed oven door, set timer, left for a few hours.

Something about turning oven on. Taco Bell.

Oh Alex! That's a shame!

I put up an electric fence yesterday...I learned you should a;ways make sure the energizer is unplugged before you try to tighten it. And I think that next time I want to test the fence to see if it is actually working I will by a little tester thingy - rather than touching it myself. Duh. It works great.

Don't bring a coconut back from Hawaii as a carry on. You will be delayed while the authorities go over every inch of the coconut and shake it too. They will look at it and you like this Then they will interrogate you as to why you are bringing a coconut on an airplane

A lighted candle at Christmas (all that tissue paper) and Aunt Mary do not mix.

A tween, long hair and a mixer spell disaster.

And what I still have a problem learning:
When something says Hot do not touch - I still touch to make sure
When some one says hey smell this - I usually still smell

OUCH!

I wanted to sky dive when I was in college. I asked my dad and he said, "Not while you are under my roof". So the closest thing to it was bungee jumping. I got my chance one night on a date at Gulf Shores. We went to this place that had goofy golf and go carts and a 25 foot platform to bungee jump. It was $50 a pop though. Not going to risk my life for $50...too expensive (in college anyway) BUT lo, and behold - they were having a special - you could risk your life for only $25 that night! It was a bargain. I got in line. It was a long line. There were stairs that went around and around and I was drinking a very large drink. When I got to the top I realized I needed to go to the bathroom. But I had faith in my bladder. I went on...got harnessed in and proceeded to the edge - I was told to step off on the count of three...he only had to count 3 times 3 for me to finally step off...

oh.........my.........goodnessssssssss. I thought the bungee would never catch....when it finally did I started laughing hysterically and well....

that's embarrassing...really embarrassing.

Good thing I had a change of clothes in my bag since we were at the beach.

Lesson - never go on a date and drink a large coke then bungee jump - especially if you want to go out with the guy again.

Well I have to ask the question .....

Was there ever a second date?

nope - it wasn't because of the accident though...it was really a favor to a friend - my date was her cousin and from out of town...he was really sweet about it - thankfully she is a very close friend and got me through it pretty gracefully - as gracefully as possible anyway....but no, no second date...probably wouldn't have been anyway - but peeing in my pants didn't help.

Well - lets just say I choose to believe that is not why.

Do NOT put washing machine detergent into a dishwasher

....and then take a photo and prove you did such a stupid thing

Once, after watching a colossal argument between my boyfriend and his brother escalate into an entire family shout-out I became indignant and furious and decided to leave.

I stormed out! The door closed! Loudly! I was in a cramped...vestuble, I guess you call it, only a few feet wide. Four steep steps up from the basement to the outside door. It was night. It was dark. There must have been eight locks on that friggen door. Flip, turn, unhook, slide, jiggle the handle. Fumble. Try again. And again. And Again. FUKC!

Mustering what outrage I had, I decided I would just turn around, go back into the house and exit up the inside stairs and out the front doorway. I marched back down those steps and tried to get back in. THAT door was locked from the inside!

Wah-hahaha.

I had to KNOCK after my righteous leavetaking.

Lesson learned: No more Grand exits.