Chai wrote:wow, actually I think that one is a sad commentary on the "civilized" world.
first we convince women to wear stupid looking clothes and shoes that can cripple you for life, then, when the anorexic model falls down, she's not even allow to act like a real person.
screw that. If I fell walking down the runway, I'd just lie there was a minute, taking an internal inventory to see if I hurt anything. Then if I was still alone, I get up and say loudly "For Christs sake, wasn't anyone going to HELP me?"
Then I'd carry on about how I bruised my knee, and how I thought these stinkin' shoes should be burned.
Ayup...there's another lesson there...never pop back up when you fall down...you just look goofy. Go ahead and lay there fuss and make sure someone comes to help you...then they feel bad, and at least you look a little less goofy...I never learned this lesson. I am pretty sure I would pop up and move on to avoid attention at all costs. Even if my leg was broken...(exxageration)
Okay - I thought of one more then I have got to clock out for the night...
I went water-skiing with a bunch of friends one time. One of the boats we were using had a low horse power motor so we used it for pulling the tube. Don't get me wrong...it was still pretty fast - it just didn't pull us up out of the water fast enough on the slolem(sp?) - anyway... So I got talked into getting on and a friend of mine (guy) said he would take it easy on me. They had been turning into wakes with the tube which would cause you to ramp at an unbelievable height - which looked like great big fun when you held on.
So there I am on the tube and we are about a mile up from the mouth of the Mobile Bay - so there are shrimp boats coming in. Wade, my dear friend gets the brilliant idea to gun it and turn over the wake of the friggin' shrimp boat (HUGE WAKE). So - I hit it - I fly up - AWAY from the tube...and I flip...I swear it had to be at least twice...I hit the water so hard it gave me an enema...
I am crying and I am so shaky and weak that I can't get all the way back up on the tube...and they drag me through the murky water of Dog River back to my Grandma's house...where I immediately had to haul ass up to the bathroom....
lesson: Never trust a man when he says he will take it easy on you. ever.
Thanks
Never leave your 2 year old that just learned to lock doors upstairs while you run to the basement to grab something...
have a phone installed in the basement just in case beating on the door and sweet talking said baby boy into unlocking the door does not work.
edit: or just don't do it again for pete's sake.
Hi mismi
I do stupid things all the time. Too many and too long to list.
yeah...I don't mind working on my list...put it all out there...makes others feel better about themselves...that is my role in life.
Last summer I had my brother and his wife and kids up to visit. We went to a neighbors pool and I decided to leave early to go to the store for something I forgot to get. Of course I ended up getting tons more. I head for home...pull into the garage and notice they are not back yet. I had opened the back hatch of the stationwagon to get the groceries out...when it strikes me that I should go help them get the kids out of the pool and get home. So I hop back into the car.
Now, we live on a huge hill...our driveway is quite steep. So I am backing down and apply the brake at the bottom. I hear horrible crashing and splashing sounds....and I realize that I left the hatch open. And that my groceries are ALL OVER THE STREET. Milk busted, fruit rolling everywhere...and as I am quickly trying to pick it all up before a neighbor comes by and sees...my brother pulls up with everybody in the car.
crap.
Lesson: Use common sense - I missed it on so many levels here.
mismi wrote:Okay - I thought of one more then I have got to clock out for the night...
I went water-skiing with a bunch of friends one time. One of the boats we were using had a low horse power motor so we used it for pulling the tube. Don't get me wrong...it was still pretty fast - it just didn't pull us up out of the water fast enough on the slolem(sp?) - anyway... So I got talked into getting on and a friend of mine (guy) said he would take it easy on me. They had been turning into wakes with the tube which would cause you to ramp at an unbelievable height - which looked like great big fun when you held on.
So there I am on the tube and we are about a mile up from the mouth of the Mobile Bay - so there are shrimp boats coming in. Wade, my dear friend gets the brilliant idea to gun it and turn over the wake of the friggin' shrimp boat (HUGE WAKE). So - I hit it - I fly up - AWAY from the tube...and I flip...I swear it had to be at least twice...I hit the water so hard it gave me an enema...
I am crying and I am so shaky and weak that I can't get all the way back up on the tube...and they drag me through the murky water of Dog River back to my Grandma's house...where I immediately had to haul ass up to the bathroom....
lesson: Never trust a man when he says he will take it easy on you. ever.
OMG, missy -- that's hysterical!
Women lead dangerous lives. I do not think that I can match any of you. However, I must say that there were things I have done that now make me cringe when I think about them.
I can give an A2K example, mismi:
Never Try to Compete With Gus
Here's another one...though it is pretty pathetic...
I was at University and a friend of mine - a jazz major - that I had this crush on asked me to come with him into one of the piano practice rooms. He said he had a song he had written and he wanted me to hear it. He started singing it and I swear it was about me and him...every word was what I felt and my heart was pounding and my eyes were watering and I felt this rush of unbelievable happiness - and when he finished he said he wrote it for another friend of ours and what did I think. I have never plummeted so far in a matter of seconds.
crap.
lesson: don't count your chickens before they hatch.
we are still friends...and he married that girl. Some serious sucking up the pride and stuffing of emotions there. Totally sucked.
@mismi,
Just a few minutes ago - I went and opened up my closet to get something. I forgot I shoved a stack of books up there to get them out of the way. As I was looking up one slid down and hit me square on the bridge of my nose. I think I look like Marsha Brady now.
dammit.
Never open up the closet and look up - you should always open it up and step back first.
Thinking the oil had cooled down enough to put back into the plastic bottle, I lifted the deep fryer, tilted, and poured. (You thought something was going to happen with the deep fryer) Nope.
The plastic bottle started warping, and deforming. Decreasing in cubic volume.
My bottle of Crisco was spewing.....and it was only getting worse. Now bowing to its shocked audience, it was trying to fold itself in half.
Get it to the sink.
(when I look back at this thought, I realize, in haste, I left common sense)
Three steps into transport, I realized, how hot the oil was.
Twenty something years of my wifes obsessiveness with clean floors, played a part in me deciding to toss it into/at the sink.
Rim shot. In the sink,....on the sink, on the floor, counter, blender, plant.....
Lesson learned.
@alex240101,
Okay, laughing and laughing. 'course I'm glad there weren't flames.
Lessons "Not" Learned.
Not emptying pants pockets, before entering washing machine.
@alex240101,
I have issues with that myself. I hope it wasn't a pen Alex
I have lost so many collar stays that way too...
Alex, at least you didn't try to burn the house down like I did.
I wanted to fry up a few tator tots for Ade so I got the oil going. Not even realizing I'd turned it up WAY to high, I tossed in a few ice encrusted tots.....flames shot straight up in the air. I at least had the sense to remove the pan from the stove but not before nearly singing off my hair.
