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Sat 3 May, 2008 05:41 am
My lovely little senile grandmother of 85 years young was started on Hospice care yesterday.
It's been a battle with the Alzheimers for many years but we put her into an Alzhiemers Specific Care Facility a while ago and that has been good for her. In the last year though it has been an up and downhill battle with emergency Hospital visits. She has had internal bleeding and prolapse. Recently she has had some serious blood pressure issues. She also hasn't eaten anything but ensure and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for at least the las 6 months. She's down to 85 pounds. She's in a wheelchair. She also is a Polio victim so, that has it's own lovely little care issues.
So yesterday when her blood pressure started dropping out again and she started again with the bleeding and prolapse again my mother finally made the decision to call in Hospice. The Hospice nurse was able to give her Morphine for the pain as well as comfort my mother and go over all the plans that are already in place as well as care for my grandmother for the best quality of life.
Hospice is great and I have had many people say that in the past but it hasn't actually been this close to me before so I am now finding it very comforting and reassuring for both my mother and grandmother.
Is there anything else I can expect from Hospice?
Any hands on experience with how this generally goes?
My mom was a hospice nurse for a long time and when I was a kid I'd visit, so I have pretty thorough but kind of weird experience with it (as in, filtered through my kid-memory).
Main thing is that they do palliative care rather than curative. That is, they're focused on making someone comfortable until that person is ready to die. And if the person starts to die in earnest, that death is facilitated rather than prevented.
By "facilitate" I don't mean assisted suicide, I mean things like helping the family have final conversations with the loved one (including preparation and making suggestions for what they might want to cover, if people are a bit lost), providing resources for paperwork (wills, etc.), having a chaplain or whomever is most appropriate come in, etc., etc. All while continuing to provide palliative care (morphine et al) and basic care (hygiene, making sure necessary medications are taken, preventing bedsores, etc., etc.)
Occasionally people do better than expected and are discharged, alive, from hospice. But the main focus of hospice is helping people have a good death.
Thanks Soz - you're Mom is one of those special people then - that's great. Must have been interesting growing up with that.
Yeah, after all she did yesterday I'm sure from this point it is just seeing where it goes from here. She could certainly get better but, she's begging to just die so, that's hard. Especially since we're never really sure if that is what she really wants or the kid she is now talking. She is in a lot of pain though and the Hospice nurse confirmed that wasn't related to her issues that it was actual real pain.
I thought it was great that the Hospice nurse had so much information, reviewed it all with my Mother and reassured her and comforted her as well. Pretty special people.
I went through this with my own mother last August. The hospice folk
were top-notch.
I kept vigil with Mom over the last couple of days. They had a wonderful
sense of when to be there and when not and took care to keep Mom as
comfortable as possible even though she had lost consciousness.
My mother died in Home Hospice.
Until recently dying people were hospitalized and under the care of staff who had been trained to fight to preserve life. Hospice workers are trained to deal with the inevitability of death--a concept that is difficult for many families.
Hospice cares for both patients and for families.
Sorry to hear about your Mom George but it's great that you were able to be there and Hospice was there for you all as well.
I won't be able to be there as she is in Arizona but, when the senility was going downhill fast 4 years ago I spent a week with her in Florida so, that was nice even if she was a crazy little person. Nice to have those memories. I recommend to anyone that has someone with Alzheimers to spend a vacation or something with them while they still have some mind left since it is something you can carry with you after it all goes to poop.
We're also in a different place than most because she is American Indian so there will not be "services" and the like. It's hard to get in touch with the whole family and let them know what's going on and all that in this type of situation because there won't be the same type of closure later on it's a more instant thing. Sigh.
Hi Noddy - glad to hear Hospice was there for you as well.
It is nice to have and to be able to finally be at that place right now with Hospice and I would recommend it for everyone. Dealing with and getting through it all with assistance is very nice and much nicer than the crazy hour calls of going into Emergency.
I've worked a lot with hospices...rererring folk to them and such...and sometimes continued seeing folk moved there....(though you can have home hospice care)...and been friends/colleagues with a few doctors who ran them.
It's certainly in their care that I want to die (unless I am lucky and do it fast!!!).
They tend to have much better pain knowledge etc., and better skills at dealing with dying, and all that.
The staff in them can get as bamboozled as any people....but they are great, overall.
Good choice.
I hope all goes well.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Quinn))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Thanks dlowan!
It will go well and I am so appreciative for Hospice and don't know why more people don't use it - there comes a point, you know?
I feel the same way - if I don't go fast then don't stretch it all out and help me go. If I can't pull the plug myself then at least let me have some sweet dreams on the way.
quinn1 wrote:Thanks dlowan!
It will go well and I am so appreciative for Hospice and don't know why more people don't use it - there comes a point, you know?
I feel the same way - if I don't go fast then don't stretch it all out and help me go. If I can't pull the plug myself then at least let me have some sweet dreams on the way.
Is it not commonly used in the USA???
It is here.....though, as I said, not necessarily IN a hospice....there's a lot of hospice care done in people's homes.....lots of people want to die there, if possible.
It is being used more and more but I believe here that with family involvement issues and all that brings that it isn't used as much as it could be.
A lot of people aren't aware that Hospice exists.
Death and the practical aspects of Death aren't universal Western conversational fodder.
My experiences with hospice have all been good. Won't go into all of it.
However, when my step dad requested that he be transferred there, while he was battling cancer and still had his wits about him some of the time, I remember how difficult that move was to hear.
So my heart goes out to you.
Not wanting to take over your thread - just have to say that my heart overflowed at that time. He was such a brave, honest, loving man.
He faced things with such dignity and respect.
He deserved to die with that same shown to him. Hospice helped to achieve that.
To accept things as they truly are, and deal with that, that is part of such the great care that hospice brings.
It's hard to do and yet such a great triumph for love over the fear.
My best wishes to your family. Peace, love, and comfort.
Thanks mushy for the wishes and for sharing.
It does give some great relief and comfort to all of us involved. That's really nice and is how it should be IMO at least.
Mom is doing the check in with Hospice on the situation tonight. I won't know until tomorrow due to the time change and all of that. They wanted to treat and care for her until today and re-assess. I'm comforted that they are there.
Mom's exhausted and getting upset but, after she talks with them this evening I am sure she will have a better idea and that will help.
So a bit of an update but, not everything.
The bleeding has stopped but they are still not sure what is causing it. She is still in terrible pain but the Morphine is helping with that as she has been able to get some sleep and she even ate some of her breakfast!!! My gosh. That's just odd but, good anyway.
The Hospice nurse will be discussing everything with Mom later today and we will know more then. I think Mom will feel better once she has had that conversation because right now she is tired and getting depressed.
Quinn--
Your mother is tired of responsibility in a field where she has little practical experience. Hospice will be a great comfort to her.
They are so attuned and accepting of the stages of death. It's not everyone who can be a Hospice worker (I consider it a calling), but the ones who are have a special intuition and desire for something greater than themselves, which translates into comfort --I've always considered Hospice workers to be the silent heroes of our fear of death culture.
Noddy - she's been tired of the responsibility for a long long time and now she's coming to terms with it all so, I understand it. Hospice is certainly helping her with the issues she's having.
Gala - They really are special people, I agree!
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