This F**king Cat

If it were my cat, it would have gotten sick and died.
There'd have been a short but moving burial service in the back yard.
And we'd be shopping for a new (hopefully less wacko) pet.

my son loves him.... he's handicapped.... and I'm gone most nights.... it's a real dilemma... seriously....

Have you tried brushing the cat?

Your son might enjoy it and the cat might enjoy it and you'd have less cat hair around to deal with.

de-claw it

fix it

Word.

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound flip.
But I was serious about replacing the cat, heartless as it sounds.
Then again, if it were Clive and a troublesome pet, I'd probably not do it, either.

...shave it




















Honestly. We had a Persian that we had to shave every summer.

Bear
Did you have the cat neutered? A little less testosterone might help tame him.

BBB

he's fixed. 200.00 to declaw him because at his age have to do it laser method.

I'd love to take him for a ride in my big red truck is what I'd like to do.... but I can't.

I'm just not a pet guy I guess... but the cat will have to stay.... bpbjr would be really upset...

Boom.

How old is the cat? We didn't pay that much for our cat to be declawed and she was an older cat. I don't really recommend it as it took her longer to recover than the young cat, but it is better than getting rid of the beast.

Get a squirt gun and squirt the damn thing when he climbs on stoves or any where you don't want him to be - have these guns all over the house. Usually for us, our cats are so wimpy all we need to do is yell at them. They don't even try to wake us in the morning to feed them because we will swat at them if they try. We have trained them well.

You can try brushing alot - you can even bring them to a groomer where they brush out all the extra shedding fur. It works well for a while, but if it really bothers you that much - the cat will be going there quite frequently.

I don't know what to do about the hair being everywhere other than brush the cat frequently or just get used to it (I've chosen to just get used to it), but to get him to stop jumping on tables and such, you should try what I did. When he's up on a table the next time, come up behind him and while he's not looking, slam your hand (or anything that makes a loud noise) on the table right next to him as hard as you can. This should scare the living bejesus out of the little bastard, and he should remember it for a while if you do it right. Repeat until lesson has been learned.

Or you could just beat the **** out of it the next time. That works too.

the squirt gun... the loud noises... the swatting.... the hit with a flying shoe.... to no avail.....did I mention he's vocal as hell too? did I also mention that he got between my legs while I was at the toilet and started drinking my urine as I was peeing?

perhaps a lude or some valium?

Bear
Bear, get thee to a pet store and buy a FURminator. It's what the groomers use to get rid of shedding animal fur. If your pet store doesn't have one, you can order one from QVC.

I have a FURminator and it helps to keep down the amount of fur my Japanese Chin Dolly sheds. My Maddy is a Bichon and doesn't shed. The FURminator gets rid of the soft under fur that sheds the most. My dogs like and don't fight it.

When I lived in California I had two Himalayan cats, who were the world's best shedders. The FURminator worked fine on them and they liked it.



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M15553 FURminator Professional 3" deShedding Pet Grooming Tool
QVC Price: $29.75
Introductory Price: $27.12

I think you should make some money via the beast by photographing him lapping you pee and posting it on YouTube.

BBB

It might be time for the serious beatings to begin.

Step 1: Get laundry bag.

Step 2: Get obnoxious cat.

Step 3: Put obnoxious cat inside laundry bag.

Step 4: Slam laundry bag hard against wall.

Step 5: Repeat as necessary.

Perhaps a Urologist visit?