Top Ten Work Related Excuses

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These are all actual excuses I've been given.

What are your top ten excuses for work not completed, sales lost, inventory missing, illness etc.?

We can compile the Top 100 excuses.
It will speed up the process.
An employee can sneak in about 9:30 and just say "17".
We can then say "Okay."
or
"Howard, you used number 17 last month, try to be a little more inventive.

Joe(Guess what happened on Mulberry Street??!)Nation

http://img443.imageshack.us/img443/7073/feb172008055ub2.jpg

Top Ten Train Excuses for Being Late in New York City

10. Some frigging guy kept holding the doors for people so the train couldn't leave.

9. It was so crowded I couldn't get on.

8.It was so crowded I couldn't get off.

7. The frigging Express went Local the whole way.

6. It never came. I'm here but I don't think it ever came.

5. Some frigging guy got into a fight with another guy over holding the frigging doors.

4. The Local suddenly went Express right by my stop.

3. It just stopped. We sat in the tunnel forever. No announcements, no nothing.

2. They made us get off and take a bus.

1. I was running for the train, I yelled for them to hold the doors but the frigging guy didn't hold the frigging doors.

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What about:

Somebody had a heart attack, and we had to wait for the EMS.

Somebody jumped/fell/was pushed onto the tracks. What a mess.

Somebody's attache case got stuck inside the train while he was outside the train. The train dragged him the whole length of the station. What a mess. I don't know why he didn't just let go.

BTW, I haven't been on the subway in years. What's this about people holding the doors? What'sa matter with the people down there. You don't hold the doors on the subway.

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For folks who live in driving country:

4. Some jerk was tailgating me. I had to slow down to keep things safe.
3. There was a wreck.
2. Some jerk was driving too slow, so I got right on his bumper and the bastard slowed down!
1. Then I rearended him.

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You might think I'm crazy, but the vibes just weren't right.

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They were breaking in a new barista at Starbucks and it took forever to get my latte! Evil or Very Mad

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Stray Cat wrote:

They were breaking in a new barista at Starbucks and it took forever to get my latte!

Definately a New York excuse.

Joe(well, I had to wait.)Nation

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"I fell asleep on the train."

"I saved this guy life and they made me giva a speech."

" what is time, really?"

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Amigo wrote:

"I fell asleep on the train."

"I saved this guy life and they made me giva a speech."

" what is time, really?"

"Will it be on the news?"

"Uh..er.. I didn't see any cameras."

"Uh-huh"

==
My next favorite excuse is the Doctor's appointment.

"I forgot to tell I have a Doctor's appointment."
"When?"
"I have to go now."

(My doctor, who is not the busiest physician in New York, is booked up until March 14th.)

"When did you make this appointment?"
"Couple of days ago, sorry."
(It's now 9AM.)
"So, you'll be back around noontime?"
"I'll try."

......

Joe(Nope. Walks in the door the next day, ten minutes late.)Nation

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It wouldn't accept me token. I couldn't walk that far.

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I actually made up one of these lists several years ago. It's posted on my bulletin board, right here by the phone.

EVA'S TOP TEN "GET-AWAY-FOR-A-DAY" EXCUSES

10. That Communication Device Isn't Working
9. 102-Degree Fever: Doctor's Orders
8. On Location for Photo Shoot
7. Brainstorming Time Required for Your Project
6. Checking Out Your Competition
5. Sick Child
4. Deadline for Another Client
3. Holed Up Writing
2. Out-of-Town Consulting
(and, my number one excuse...)
1. Power Outage

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Vitamin D deficiency.

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One of our secretaries actually gave this one:

I was watching the OJ trial on tv and forgot all about the time.

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I used this one: My cat sat on top of the alarm clock and turned off the alarm.

(It happened.)

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One actually used on me by a mural artist (who everyone was waiting to finish his work so that the restaurant could open):

"I was in such a good mood yesterday that I just couldn't work."

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This guy went to his home country "for one week".

Ten days later, his wife calls and says "Efrain can't get a flight out, he'll be back in one week."

Two weeks later, he walks in the door.
Me: "Why didn't you call and tell us what was going on?"
Him: "The phone wasn't working"
Me: "It worked when you called your wife."
Him: "The phone wasn't working on the day I was going to call you."
Me: "What about the next day?"
Him: "Oh, by then, I thought, it would be too late to call you and my wife, she was supposed to tell you not one week but two weeks."
Me: "You were only supposed to be gone one week."
Him: "Senor, I don't fly the planes. What could I do?"

Joe(oh, well then, yes, I see. Those bastards. Yes.)Nation

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