@FlavourQueen,
Hey Sis
Ha..... you're picking up the vibes without us saying a word a? Laughing. All's OK. Just... ya know.. with G - it's all like it's normal, way full on - as if it were 2 years ago - roses round the door and more - then I think - OMGawd - look what happened last time, and the time before and.... I dunno. Yep, more me stumbling now, than him - or maybe me being very strong right now so nothing can hurt me. I think my defences are still up, won't allow that hurt again. Still a lot on things on his terms - can't go to the house when daughter is there coz she wouldn't like me there... you know. Didn't see him over the weekend coz.......... no idea. He coulda - he didn't - daughter!!!!! - his choices. They drove past the house yesterday so daughter could see where I lived!
Funny thing was, apparently Tulip was walking into the house as they passed to pick F-boy up. That confused daughter. They didn't come in, I didn't even know they were gonna drive over - they just drove past so she could see where I lived!!
mmmmmmmmmm
Hey ho. I'm gonna carry on my life as I was and give it a day at a time - but I'm not jumping in at the deep end again no matter how much I love him. Also had the conversation about
his fears of me getting sick and what I can or can't or will or won't be able to do. Errrr.... OK. Been there, done that! Like, could I do a 10 mile yomp across the moors. I said if I wanted to - I'd do it and nothing would stop me. If I couldn't move for 2 days after - that could be what happens - body payback. Or not - I could be fine. It's an unaswerable question. But whatever I put my mind to - I'd do - not for him - but for me. If I didn't want to yomp - I wouldn't. Nothing to do with if I could or couldn't - I can't put those barriers in my way - else, what's the point?
I'm feeling
very good in my head - body is real, real tired tho. Head is EXCELLENT.
R-boy phoned today to tell me he had bought the new eminem CD for S-boy for his birthday - ha, bless him - he knows I can't do anything about it!!!!!!! <won't be being played in my car tho
> I asked him if he'd like to come over. He won't.
Ha - answerphone - nah, didn't hear it last nite, we were over with MaMa & PaPa - but did listen just now when I read your post and loved it! <big smile> S-boy is over at his Dad's. He's decided to stayover because... that's what his Dad wants. Call him there sis - same number as before and phone's now connected - he'd love to hear from you. I still have pressies for S-boy here which I was saving for him before bed..... nem'mind - will give them to him tomorrow. He's a happy little fella - had a great day at school.
Oh - I get Molly next week as G needs my car to pick son up from Uni. Ha - me and little fella are gonna take her for a big spin. Now... if I can just figure out how the roof goes down... and back up again when it rains - oh my, can you imagine! She is my baby. I did drive her the other day - you need a real lead foot with her - she's the heaviest car in the world. Love my baby.
Are you coming down for half term???????????????????????????? Thelma and Louise it!
Don't worry about ringing me. I'm really OK- much better than OK but stronger talking here than on the phone. Being oh so brave talking here about this, scares the crap out of me saying this stuff out loud
>
im not able to eat..nething..just not liking anything!!!!
