"YABBER-LINER" - ALL ABOARD

BATHSHEBA

Hey db!

Just going back a couple days … needed to check something before I replied



Ahhhhhh…. yep… horrible mental feeling that. It’s all about perception, isn’t it. Personally, for me - it’s not about other people’s perceptions in the respect of, everyone says I’m small and thin and all that and aren’t I lucky to be so petite - yet, I don’t love my body or scars at all - and I certainly don‘t feel petite or good about my body - tho I don‘t feel as bad about it as I used to. And it doesn’t matter what anyone says really - coz it’s how I feel and it’s something I think about me. I can't bear my photo being taken can.not.bear.it - yet.... strangely here.... I can post a pic of me. It’s what you feel on the inside about what you look like on the outside - if that makes sense.

Of course, in an ideal world it would be wonderful for everyone to see your heart and soul and not your body - but in reality - a majority of folks (society), often I believe, look at the book cover, not the words. Those who read the words, you know are true - those who look at the packaging…aren’t. However, that still makes no difference to how you feel about yourself. Even in front of hubby - if you aren’t comfortable with yourself, you won’t be comfortable with him. It’s so easy to say “love your body and how you look” - but it’s not always that easy to do it. Self esteem, self confidence - affects everything.

FQsis used to tell me this - scars / stretch marks.. whatever… each one tells a story - so…. Here’s the thing. Every scar, every little bit of whatever you have had change with you ops and chemo etc…. every mark or falling out hair tells a story. Right now, it’s not a happy story because there is still so much sh!te to go through. However, maybe, maybe in the future - (don’t push yourself right now)… maybe in the future you will look back at that photo you sent your daughter and think just how much life has changed for you. Tho you will have new hair… and foobs for friends - that follically challenged head and the scars you bear - will save your life. It will become a better life because of that new hair and scars. You could go to your grave with a perfect body - but you’d have no life. I know, I know, it’s all that ooooooooh be positive about it and all that cr@p….. all I’m saying is that - for me…. ME (projecting again - really bad habit) - it’s better for me to have a tummy that looks like a hot cross bun after 6 surgeries (yes, nice thought a?????? - believe me, Fqsis and I compete on whose tummy looks the most horrible), it’s better that I have a foot full of fusion, it’s better that I have scars on my boobs….. Simply because if my tummy were flat and perfect - I would have likely died - Fqsis was with me when I was sick - if my feet were shapely and could fit into all the heeled shoes I always wore - I wouldn’t even be able to walk - and if I didn’t have scars on my boobs - I wouldn’t know that they would have been benign marks. Every stretch mark - well, they were from the kids - couldn’t be a happier mark to have really.

Does it make me confident knowing all that! Nope. Not at all. But I'm getting a little more ready to face the world.

It’s all that positive, sickly, gag-in-a-bucket-be-grateful-things-could-be-worse cr@p that people say….. which isn't gonna make anyone feel any better right now - but I happen to believe it can make a difference. (Will it make me go out the house and meet people and be confident….. Nah…. Not yet - long way to go before that happens - but it will happen - she says.)

So……….. Make your foobs your best friends to give you some confidence - only those who know they are foobs - know what’s underneath….. Not one other person will know or has to see - what’s underneath tells a remarkable story - one of hope and courage. If you didn't have courage - you would have given up by now. You dont sound like you're giving up girl. You sound to me as tho you're fighting.



One day you might consider implants…. Or you may choose not to. My friend has her foobs, I don’t think she will go for implants because I don’t think she would put herself thru surgery - but that’s a completely personal decision - it’s what makes YOU feel better and more confident - not what anyone else believes or agrees with or wishes you to do.



Now, “B” says “I survived Breast Cancer” - loud and clear “I survived” - it kinda kicks the BigC out the window. Before my feet were rubbish - we did the “Race 4 Life” - 5K walk/run done all over Britain - thousands of people do it to raise money. Lots of sad stories can be seen on the faces of the racers - but a whole lot of survivors there too.



Maybe the meditation would help you before the next chemo. I saw dlowan (the wabbit) post some links the other day which I took a look at - will see if I can find the thread - they looked worth pursuing.


Anyhooooooooooooooooooo…… another of those blah blah blah posts. Tired tonite - so on a ramble!

Now……….the reason I haven’t replied ’til now was I needed to check with someone they were OK with me posting this link - an A2Ker good friend of mine sent me this a while back - some may look at it and go…. “Oh fer goodness sake, just shut uppppppppp” - it’s not meant to make people feel better or anything like that or for any other reason - it’s just, when I was sent it, I watched it and I took a deep breath and thought - yuppers - he‘s kinda smart. Pretty amazing fella -would love to meet him! He’s into hugs. My sorta guy!

http://www.maniacworld.com/are-you-going-to-finish-strong.html


“Are ya gonna finish strong?” - me… I hope so.


(posting.... will panic after)

Hey hey DjjD - Happy Birthday to the wee gal! And cake too……….. Cooooooool! Hope you are way better now.

Missy - sunshine back onboard and great to see you - glad you’re feeling a tad better - hopefully it’ll get easier from now on - GO TO BED and REST! The Professor will cope. Hugs and hugs and hugs (Bethie - pass the Lysol!)


Ohhhhhhhhh…. Can I have some of the muffin mix please…. Nice….. Verra nice!


Fqsis - t’was good to talk - always is - can't we talk nonsense a?. Love you. X

BEAgle - still no reports on Hamish here…. Keeping a lookout tho on that link tho. Hope you had a big sleep and are recovered from all that gardening.




Ohhhhhhh…….. Gotta go take a potion!

Hi Izzie, feeling good today, friends gone and been for a stroll along the beach, beautiful day around 28 degrees. Special day for us so spending the rest of the day at home, and having Asian take-away for dinner tonight. Hope your Saturday has been a good one, has to be after talking to FQ for a couple of hours. Good night from this end. (((Izziie)))

Whats going on today hun????? ohhhhhhhhhhhhh did I miss something?

No you didn't Izzie, look in your box. What are you still doing up at 4am, you naughty girl?

Yep hun - just replied to yours...... just testing posting now..... little glitch somewhere.

OMG Izzie - I just watched that 'Are you going to finish strong' video and it made me cry - that is what we all need to see when we feel life is dealing us a bitter blow - Bathy - please watch it - you can get through this!
Iz - you are right - my tummy definitely wins on being the most scarred with my kidney scars and stretchmarks!!!! - Life lines I call them, to show we have LIVED and not existed - we all need to take our scars and be proud that they are our marks of life and have moulded our inward being into who we are today - that is what gets me up in the morning - my kids and my future, to help me through another day and to prove to myself that I can finish strong - even though there are may roads that can lead us astray.
To you all out there - whatever we all go through - the mental and physical scars that we bear can be turned into something positive, even if it just an acceptance that life has dealt us these blows - BE STRONG Y'ALL!

As for Slum Dog millionaire Dutchy - yes, it is worth seeing - the photography and the views of life in Mumbai shows that there are people living in squalor and misery, but they have hope and find happiness in friendship despite the exploitation and what life throws at them - worth seeing.
Horrid week ahead - we are closing one of our factories and have to make redundancies - not a nice place to be when you know there are people with families to support - worst part of the job in this economic climate - may I be granted the compassion and integrity to do it in the kindest way>
As for all of you out there - wherever you are - may you find your peace - MM, Brooke, Mis and Bathy - Iz - you will get there - I will hold your hand all the way sister.
Love to you all - sorry if this is a bit heavy - first time I have posted in ages not on my silly Blackberry
Hugs to all

FQ
xx

Hi...so tired. Zomby-like again. S caught the flu. Fever all night...could not get it down...close to 105 at one point. Had to put him in a tub...doing our best to keep it down now. Went to the doc...he just confirmed what I knew. Gave us something to cut the time it would last, hopefully. If anyone would catch it, it would be him. He is my child that would climb back in the womb again if he could. Hard to keep him away sometimes! I would wake up with him next to me asleep when I was sick...Dunno what I am going to do with that sweet little boy.

I will start reading and paying closer attention soon. Just so tired...have no attention span whatsoever! Hugs to you all..

mis

FQ - thanks for that post. Really shows why you're Izzie's more-than-anything person.

I am wishing you access to your marvellous inner strength to help you with your next week.

(((((( Mismi and her fellas ))))))

I hope you're all better soon. Tough when sickies get shared around. There seems to be no respite from caring or needing to be cared for sometimes. Hard when you're both the carer and the needs to be care for person.

Mis & S-boy - get well soon...




((((FQ)))) ((((Bethie))))

Saw Tulip today - she's doing well - settled in and the house looks like a home. Good to see.

wishing all well, wherever, whatever.

x

Morning all. What a way to wake up, reading about scars on F/Q tummy and Izzie's b..bs, gee you girls make me laugh, that is so funny. I reckon I can beat you when it comes to scars, and I even haven't got............ stretchmarks.
Does that mean I lived my life well? Having watched that video I count my blessings, what an inspiration, my problems are totally insignificant to what that guy faces.

F/Q I don't envy your job in the coming week, however your posts show what a compassionate lady you are, I'm sure you'll find the the strength and wisdom to do your job well. Sending you vibes my friend.

Oh mismi, so sorry to hear you're still in the doldrums with the crew at home. Must be draining looking after them and not feeling well yourself. Hope thing will improve soon. (((mismi)))

Hi ehBeth, trust the weather is on the improve for you and you can give them dogs their well deserved exercise.

How are things tonight Captain, having an early night for a change?

Cheers to all from down under.

hey mismi, just dropping in to see how you're doing, i'd give you a hug, but well you know, the sickness and all, well i gotta go now and burn these clothes





hope everyone in the family gets better soon

Hi, all! Feeling better & trying to get my strength up. Yugh, I hate being sick! And now the hubby has it - oy! Just trying to deal here!
Oh, mis-, hope things are getting better for you too. Hope S boy is feeling more himself.
Man, still a bit whacked out tired & feeling scattered. Have much to do & no energy to do it, but I am a mom and it shall get done --- some day or another!
Big hugs to everyone. Been readin' a bit of the yabber, just not writin' a lot, 'kay?
The boy wants the computer so I'm gonna go for now. ttfn & ttyl.

Hi Dev, best wishes to you, missed you on the threads and need your inspiration!

forget the mix ... have some of these verra verra nice muffins (one of them has some test icing on it)



my gosh they worked out well

whizzed 3 ripe nanners with 2 tiny kiddie vanilla yogurts - then banana pecan cake mix + raisins + shredded coconut + choco/raisin/nut trail mix + skor bits - used my 26 year old ! Braun multipractic to whizz it all together in about 3 minutes

OHHHHHHHHHHHH BETHIE - WONDER FUEL.... I could do with some muffins - how FAB! mmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmm good! Bet HIM will be loving them a?



Dev - oh girlie - I thought you were well on the road to recovery - so sorry it's still knocking you for six - rest up when the kids go to school (Is C back)... take care QueenDev - pass the tiara - will give it a quick shine. Hugs xxxx




<Bethie... you still got that Lysol!>


Hugs DjjD and BEAgle...

have taken my potion. I cannot keep going on so little sleep - I must look as tho I am 90 right now - yet.... the hours are still not enough in the day. Head is flying around at the moment...

even got me some weird feelings about moving abroad - HA! Stranger things have happened. Thinking about the summer - people to see, places to go... life to live. Not going to do the save for a rainy day - gonna go live a little.


jeeeeeeeeeees... I wish I could have one of the muffins!!!!!!!!!! (xxxx) <pass the icing bowl for me to lick out please - thankee kindly muchly>

<breaks out the custard cream bisccies with the hot chocolate!>

if you get within mmmmm 500 miles of here, I am driving muffins to wherever you are - not sure how an icing bowl travels - will mull on it

Morning All -

you're on Bethie

well, little knockin' Mizzle Thrush popped by again! (oh need to go back onto Boidas thread and let them know what's been happening with that fella).

Little fella was up at 6.30am and off to school (MaMa did the school run) - he'll stay over for a bit now .... so I am going to try and do a bit more round the house to get rid of the "never picked up" stuff - gosh - find it so hard to get rid of "stuff". Going to move all the "living aids" into the garage - wheelchair, walkers etc - don't need them in the house... and going to be brave and let the kitties outside (oh..... so worried about them taking off!)

I'm going to walk.... WALK... down to the river and sit for a while! YIPPEEEEE YAI AY! It is gorgeous outside.

hope all poorly sick crew are feeling better and especially S-boy - hope his fever has broken.

back a bit later.

Strength to FQsis - nasty side of the job to do today - professional... with of course, your heart on your sleeve as you would do. Thinking about you and your colleagues. Be strong gal. x