my father

Let me give you the lifestyle of my father and my relationship with him.

My mom was 18 when she married my dad then had my sister, she and my dad were madly in love, had a great life together. Just before my mom found out she was pregnant with me, my dad started drinking a bit more than usual, did some drugs like weed.

But when my mom was closer in having me, he had gotten worst, cheated on my mom, drank even more, never really was around, but always was around for my sister at the time.

He was not there when I was born, but he paid child support when he was up for it. But growing up I did things with my father same with my sister. Oh my sister and I both are 7 yrs apart.

I was my dad's fishing camping buddy. He and I both had the same thing in common. My sister on the other hand was my mom's best friend, both alike. As I got older, our relationship was ok, but I started to notice things him doing drugs where he tries to hide it but I catch him high, or getting a handoff from his girl friend who I am close with when I see them.

I slowly stopped talking to him quite often. Everytime we would talk he would always be so rude to the point that I cry alot about it. Then his mother passed away few yrs ago, saw him, started talking to him. He took me outside of his sister's house to talk with me.

Never seen my dad cry because he hurt me growing up. He told me that he was never a perfect dad but never stopped loving me and stuff. I felt bad, so I decided that he deserved another chance. We talked on the phone every few days and it was good. Then he calls me 3 wks after giving him a chance and he told me that when he gets back from camp we will go out to dinner just me and him like old times. I said ok call me. He told me that it will be a few wks since he will be up there that long.

A month go by, 2 mos go by. I called him once again I always had to call him. We talked, he started his rude things over the phone again. So I stopped calling him to see if he would call me first.

I had not heard from him or seen him for a year. My mom told me just few days after my birthday October of 05 and Christmas that year too that my dad tried sending me a birthday card with a check but it came back. So I decided to write him a letter. He was happy and send me a card telling me that he was sadden that I had changed my number for a whole year before I moved. I never changed phone numbers until I moved to Wva. So I wrote him another letter with just my address again, but no phone number cause I wanted to see where he stands with me. Never wrote me back or nothing.

Then October last year he sends me a birthday card with 20 dollars. Ok, I sent him a thank you card appreciating the card and money. I never thought I would see my dad any time sooner after that.

My one and only sister passes away on Noveber 15th 07. had to see my dad through this. Let me tell you it was hard and I avoided him quite often. Plus I have a very large family.

I talked to his only living sister the day of my sisters burial about him. She kept telling me to talk to him, she told me that my dad told her that he is living with regret so bad ever since I had stopped talking to him. I mean really bad.

i do love my father, i do have good memories with him. But most of them were not good. He did hurt my mom too.

Here is why I made a post about this. I feel bad for my father, I want to try and work things out again with him but I am afraid that it will go back to the same way again.

he lost me first, when I stopped talking to him. Now he looses his oldest daughter from heart failure. So not only loosing me but both of us.

Everytime I hear the musics that my dad loved to listen to that I grew up to, i think of him a lot, especially our fishing days.

My dad still does drugs and drink too. My question I have is this.

Is it worth trying it again or no. I was thinking about this for quite some time now, and that I am going to be staying in Pgh for awhile I can visit him. If you had a father like that what would you do.

Oh another thing, my mom calls me just before Christmas last year that my father needed my social security number so he can put my name and ss in everything when he passes away.. So I gave him a call and gave his girlfriend the information. She told me that my dad will call me in a day or 2. I have not heard from him yet.