Reply
Sun 6 Jan, 2008 12:21 pm
My Grandmother is 86 and lives alone, she is visited daily and gets out a few times a week with family. She is quite mentally sharp for her age and is mobile, but restricted to the ground floor (except when she gets rebellious!)
Recently, she had a faded black-eye and did not recall receiving it. She is on Plavix(?) which has side effect of easy bruising, and might have received the black eye from hitting herself with her cane or some other minor bump.
My Aunt immediately wanted to put her into a home, but I suspect she is wanting only to hasten her demise for financial reasons. My Father on the other hand wants to appease my Aunt and find a middle ground.
A "friend" who was the real-estate agent who benefitted from my Great Aunts home sale, has introduced my Father to a couple who would become live-in "companions" for my Grandmother.
We care dearly for our Grandmother and want her to be safe, she is a tagret because of her wealth. Of particular concern is that her home sits on a VERY large plot (6+acres) in a wealthy community which could be divided and sold for development where $750,000-1,000,000 homes are build on 1/4 acre lots! The fact the referral came from a real estate agent is suspicious right off the bat.
What are some of the possible "angles" that we should be wary of?
Does anyone have any experience with this type of arrangement?
-Lost on Long Island
It's got my radar up. (a realtor?)
Not the source I would want for professional care for my loved ones.
If this is the kind of care you desire, seek a registered form with references.
way too important an issue to trust to strangers. Tell them thanks but no thanks and close the discussion.
I'm skeptical too. If your Grandmother would be happier living in her house rather than a facility I would look into hiring a visiting nurse. Someone who specializies in caring for the elderly.
Also skeptical, very skeptical, here.
I'd consider first a doctor's visit, and then perhaps setting her up with the visiting nurses' association, or some such - anyway, certainly more talk with your father about it.
I agree with the others. Don't let a realtor decide for you who is capable
of caring for your grandmother.
We recently had a case here in southern California, where a couple was
taking care of an elderly neighbor. Everyone thought how nice it was
for them (couple) to spend so much time and energy on the old lady.
Turns out they coaxed her into signing over her house to them and later
on tried to push her into a retirement home in order to sell the property.
Unfortunately, the elderly lady lived alone without family nearby, but some other concerned neighbors smelled foul play and alerted authorities.
The "ever so helpful" couple is incarcerated now, and luckily for the elder
lady, she's back in her house that was deeded back to her.
Cheepnis, don't take these things lightly. Make sure your grandmother
is taken care of by a professional nurse who will have your grandmother's
best interest at heart.
Good luck to you and your family!
Adding,
Given that she is mentally competent, your grandmother needs to be included in decisions. Still, she may be susceptible to being pushed into something, even though competent. Your father might benefit (not speaking monetarily) by a talk with an attorney sooner than later.
Thank you Osso, I fully agree.
If you truly care, find out what she wants, and help her achieve it.
You will be in her shoes some day....
Calamity Jane;
Do you have any additional info on the case you speak of? Maybe links to news articles?
All;
Thanks for the prompt relies, I am very suspicious obviously, hence the subject. Unfortunately my Father is difficult to talk to and my Grandmother does whatever he says is right. It may be difficult to stop this from happening without some more concrete things to investigate.
Yes, cheepnis, here is the article
http://nctimes.com/articles/2007/05/12/news/coastal/encinitas/21_24_065_11_07.txt
My memory failed me. It was an old couple being conned by a woman.
Hi cheepnis, I grew up on Long Island (Huntington township) so your post caught my eye.
I agree with the others. One way to approach your father might be to see about including a health care professional in discussions, even if it's your Dad's own doctor. I'm sure the vast majority of health care professionals, particularly if shown CJane's article, would smell a rat -- and would suggest a visiting nurse or other more appropriate service. Plus, your grandmother may very well qualify for some financial assistance with same. Hence an economic argument might also appeal to your father.
Re: Please Help: Is this a Scam?
cheepnis wrote:
What are some of the possible "angles" that we should be wary of?
1. A presumption that she needs to move.
2. Ridings.
Please Help: Is this a Scam?
Line up a good lawyer. If you grandmother is all that wealthy, she surely must have dealt with one. If you know and like him and/ or if she has had good advice from him in the past, have her contact him IMMEDIATELY. There may well be legal steps she could take which would protect her and her property.
Her willingness to accept your father's word as gospel is a problem, but a good lawyer could probably get around that, if she has, as you indicate, all her wits.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace