Oh man, The Onion does it again...DeVry article

Maybe get a job as a massuese. There's plent of ladies out there looking for a nice massage and with your "hands on" training you'd be a natural!

cavfancier,
You definetly need to do a job search and beef up your resume. Hit the road and find something a little more fulfilling with your degree. Have you considered working for your telephone company? My husband has a degree in Information Technology and thats what he does. I know this isnt much information for you BUT I strongly encourage you to step out of that box and look for something a little more appealing. Find places that have call centers you would be a prime candidate for setting up and installing all their software on their mainframes and handling computer issues! Does DeVry offer a lifetime job placement assistance program? Most of those kinds of institutions do. If so go back to them and tell them you want to find somewhere else to work.
In the meantime if enjoy smoking then smoke for goodness sakes, and so what if you have a bald spot...YOU need to find a different job where people are looking up to you anyways. Instead of down!!!!
Kudos by the way in graduating at the top of your class!!!!!!! Now go find a different job in the same field!!! It may take 6 months but youll be glad you did!!!!