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Sun 2 Sep, 2007 11:19 pm
I dont know if this was the right topic for the forum. Anyways, I have a hard time dealing with a problem that i could live with. It's just if there was a way to help my problem, then i'd be a lot happier.
My mom is over-caring. She contantly walks in and out of my room, checking temperature, lights, if i'm okay or if im hungry. She asks me if i am hungry constantly everyday, of every single second i am alive. She is very paranoid and takes television seriously, believing just about everything that garbage has to offer. If planes fly over our home, she cautions me when i'm enjoying a smoke that the plane is taking pictures overhead our home. She lives for me, she would die for me is the way i could explain her neverending love.
Am i cold? Many i bet would see this maybe as even a good thing, my mother just loves me is what they would say. It's not right though, i want my mom to live her own life do her own things and pursuit other joys in the world. She lives in fear she told me.
Is she sick? Is there a name to what this could be? If there is none then i can finally rest. And she refuses to get any professional help, denying she is sick.
Hi, zoei - I answer just to say we're here, however sleepy.
Zoe, my first piece of advice is don't smoke. Its like kissing an ashtray.
Your mother does sound like she may be mentally ill, her actions are certainly cloying.
I'm guessing you're still at high school so I've got to consider the possibility of "teenage overreaction" to normal mothering.
Is there a school nurse or health professional you can speak with?
If nothing else you need to speak with your mother about having your privacy invaded. be calm about it though and make sure she understands you appreciate all she does for you andf tell her you will let her know calmly when she is invading your privacy.
Traffic lights may be helpfull. "Red light mom" if shes getting in your face. Amber light mom when shes beginning to fuss too much. Dont use traffic lights as a power thing the need to be used carefully.
see..
i've told my mom many time she's invaded my privacy, yet she still persists. the scary part is there is a point where she is completely hard harded, and will not listen. i will try my school counselor, thanks for the help. im quitting smoking when i hit the army.
Does she have anything going on in her life?She may be pestering you because she has nothing else to do.
Has she always been like this, or did it start when you enlisted, or decided to enlist?
Knowing that one's child (even if that child is grown) is about to join the army (and go to Iraq? where do you live now?) could reasonably ratchet up the anxiety level quite a bit.
I am more surprised that Mom allows you to smoke. How old are you?
Is there a possibility for you to get your own place? If not, get Mom a
hobby, or a pet. She could be a perfect dog or cat Mom.
Here's something to learn about addiction, which is what smoking is:
When you say "I'll quit when..." what you're really saying is, "I'm not going to do it."
The only time you can stop smoking is now. Not later, not tomorrow, not next week. It's only now that you have any control over. "Right now, I am not smoking" is a really good thing to tell yourself. See how long you can do that -- make it longer each time. And understand that addiction is a terribly difficult and devilish disease. It'll kill you eventually if you don't face it and the pain that you're avoiding by using an addictive substance. The only question is how long it'll torture you first.
about
next august i should be in the service.
Then you'll be going through basic training next summer? Do yourself a favor and stop smoking now. Basic training will be muuuuuch easier if you can actually breathe during those 20 mile hikes. (You might also want to start getting in shape now. Every little bit will help.)
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