All of your burning philosophical questions answered

If it's one seraph, many seraphim,
why isn't it one sheriff, many sheriffim?

@George,

Different etymologies. Or entomologies. Those terms confuse me.

Seraph comes from the Bulgarian word, Sruff glfhlz, meaning 'naked guy with wings'. Sheriff comes from Bob Marley.

I trust this clears up any confusion.

May you always have enough time to water your houseplants.

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@George,

goose geese
moose moose
mongoose mongooses and mongeese

This is English, George. You're looking for things to make sense?

Uh oh. I hope I'm not usurping the master's role. I couldn't help myself. Sorry.

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I just read the whole thread again. What a wondrous display, a simply silly/smart pleasure to read from all posters.

Jespah, has anyone in Beantown ever heard of Barney's Beanery?
http://barneysbeanery.com/about/I see it's famous for a certain uproar. Old friends use to go there, over the years. Was there once myself and a friend a2ker was there a lot, back when we'd never met but might have crossed paths.

Added: why are Boston Baked Beans so sweet? Or is that not true that they always are.

Meantime, I may go collect Jespah's post taglines, so I can print them out and laugh some more. Maybe even frame them. Never too much laughing.

1 Reply

Wonderful to see the seer back!
I have a question:
Why does God keep creating atheists?

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@panzade,

God knows.
Perverse humor.

1 Reply

@Ragman,

Indeed

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@Roberta,

Roberta wrote:

goose geese
moose moose
mongoose mongooses and mongeese

This is English, George. You're looking for things to make sense?

Uh oh. I hope I'm not usurping the master's role. I couldn't help myself. Sorry.

Not to worry, although I'm not sure if you're covered under my Guru Insurance policy.

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@ossobuco,

ossobuco wrote:

I just read the whole thread again. What a wondrous display, a simply silly/smart pleasure to read from all posters.

Jespah, has anyone in Beantown ever heard of Barney's Beanery?
http://barneysbeanery.com/about/I see it's famous for a certain uproar. Old friends use to go there, over the years. Was there once myself and a friend a2ker was there a lot, back when we'd never met but might have crossed paths.

Added: why are Boston Baked Beans so sweet? Or is that not true that they always are.

Meantime, I may go collect Jespah's post taglines, so I can print them out and laugh some more. Maybe even frame them. Never too much laughing.

If anyone has heard of Barney and his beanery, they're not telling. We know Barney Frank, though, and he may have something to do with the sweetness of Boston Baked beans. There is a relationship between openly gay members of Congress and sweet legumes. Or it could be the molasses.

May the lids of your Tupperware containers always match.

1 Reply

@panzade,

panzade wrote:

Wonderful to see the seer back!
I have a question:
Why does God keep creating atheists?

Thank you! Please try the veal.

God creates atheists as a kind of sporting affectation, much like allowing the cellar dwellers to keep playing fantasy sports. In short, we all look and feel better, and someone gets to keep Manny Mota.

May your oatmeal be sticky enough.

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@jespah,

Hahahahaha, I'm not a tupperware person, ya got me.

In case it becomes a concern, on my picking up your taglines or whatever you call them, if I ever do list them I'd email it to you, woman of wit. In the meantime, they'd go on my closet door for sustenance.

I've learned to like molasses cookies in recent years, especially with walnuts or almonds.
Do molasses trees grow near walnut trees? And why not?

1 Reply

@ossobuco,

ossobuco wrote:

Hahahahaha, I'm not a tupperware person, ya got me.

In case it becomes a concern, on my picking up your taglines or whatever you call them, if I ever do list them I'd email it to you, woman of wit. In the meantime, they'd go on my closet door for sustenance.

I've learned to like molasses cookies in recent years, especially with walnuts or almonds.
Do molasses trees grow near walnut trees? And why not?

Molasses doesn't grow on trees.

It is actually a glandular secretion from a rare creature known as the sugar bear. Which is this -

http://www.cerealbinge.com/cblog/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/1970_sugarbear.png

and, fortunately, not the poor sap who is father of Honey Boo Boo.

In any event, you don't want to know how the molasses is collected. Black strap is different, as it is pressed from shoelaces harvested from wingtips.

May the cough drops of imagination sooth the sore throat of writer's block.

1 Reply

@jespah,

I notice they don't purvey molasses in honey bear plastic forms. Some kind of economic bias, I take it, at least in the western U.S. We could root out this evil by starting molasses shrub farms.

I suppose you know better..

I hope I don't need a wink thing.

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I'm addicted to counseling.
What should I do?

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@George,

... and speaking of addicted:

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@George,

George wrote:

I'm addicted to counseling.
What should I do?

This is where basket weaving comes in handy. You know, the underwater kind, which is what we learned in school.

May you be visited by the ghost of Melvin Finklestein.

1 Reply

I washed my kilt on a hot wash and now I can't do a fling with it.

Any suggestions?

1 Reply

@jespah,

jespah wrote:

. . . May you be visited by the ghost of Melvin Finklestein.

Wasn't that Jacob Marley's stage name?

1 Reply

@Lordyaswas,

Lordyaswas wrote:

I washed my kilt on a hot wash and now I can't do a fling with it.

Any suggestions?

Soak it in haggis for 16 hours. Then either eat it, wear it, or toss it. Your choice.

May your elevator music be danceable.

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@George,

George wrote:

jespah wrote:
. . . May you be visited by the ghost of Melvin Finklestein.
Wasn't that Jacob Marley's stage name?

The truth is, they're kind of alter egos, as a sort of Superman/Clark Kent deal, except it's not an eyeglasses disguise, it's a hearing aid. This means a transfer of the earpiece, a pause as it's cleaned with hand sanitizer or rubbing alcohol (or Vick's Vap-O-Rub or Thunderbird as sometimes you just gotta use what you've got lying around), then a placement, and a volume adjustment.

By this time, the bad guys are already on a plane to the Cayman Islands and so few miscreants are caught this way. This is why Dickens was never hired by either Marvel or DC.

May your balalaika remain in tune far longer than is normally thought possible.

1 Reply

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